PurpleWilder

I had to call the police on my XAH for failure to provide at his apartment. He got in my face again this afternoon with regards to visitation. I told him before - I have no problem with him having his scheduled visitation (and then some) but I would not consent to having them go somewhere there was no hot water, electricity, phone or food.

He started growliing under his breath and quacking about custodial interference and said I couldn't deny him visitation. I told him I sure could if I felt the custodial environment was unsuitable. He got pissed and left.

I started to just go on with my day - got ready to walk with the kids to a nearby gas station for a frostee. And then---I stopped.

I thought - how long was I gonna let this continue? How long was I gonna let this man's shortcomings keep a stranglehold on my life and my choices? I have enough problems with the trouble I cause myself without adding his issues to the mix. So I called.

I'm shaking and sick to my stomach here. Really, really scared. Please help.

endlesspatience

What implications are you scared of? And do you think your emotions of fear will override your ability to do what you genuinely think to be the right thing?

dollydo

Good move, time to stand up and be counted, not only for you but for your children.

I am sorry that you are so upset, however, this too shall pass, you will be fine, just give yourself some time and stick to your guns.

Katiekate

:ghug3:ghug3

PurpleWilder

Yes, there have been times that I have let my fears (phobias?) overrule my own common sense. That is what I am trying to overcome. But it is so so hard even when I know my kids' welfare is at stake. And he knows which buttons to push, for sure.

I have to work overnight tonight so the kids are going over to a neighbor's for the night. She used to be married to a horrible alcoholic herself and has seen all of this in her own life. She is being so understanding it almost makes me wanna cry.

I'm not used to reaching out to others for help. That goes against the Codie Manifesto! But I asked and my HP answered - once I started to help myself.

I am grateful and scared and tired and upset and so many other things right now. Just a big bundle of nerves. I don't want him showing up at her doorstep causing trouble so I sure called her right after this all went down and told her exactly what was happening. She said she understood.

XXXXXXXXXX

You are a great mom for putting your kids needs first. (((hugs)))) and prayers for you.

neferkamichael

PurpleSquirrel, calling the cops is the only way you are going to get that monkey off your back. You did the right thing. Good for you.

Tuffgirl

Big hugs from me today! and prayers for continued strength. You are awesome!

wicked

It is amazing how it works when you work it!
Wow PS, you did it.
Keep up the good work.

Beth

TakingCharge999

:ghug3
Well done. You are not alone PS. It took courage to take that step!
Did the police tell you what happens next?
HUGS

PHIZ007

Hugs and support added to all the above:ghug3

Phiz :0)

PurpleWilder

They were supposed to call me back but never did. I just got off of work so I need to get some sleep and then I will give them a call later today.

Thanks to all for the support - I will keep you updated.

Helenlee

Hang in there honey. It feels the most frightening when we start to change, when we start to break the old patterns & have to find new ways of behaving to take their place.
Remember to breath, really breath. Take things just one step at a time & you can walk right outta there & into a better life. Just hold on
Big hugs,
Helen

PurpleWilder

I haven't called and he hasn't called me. I think I'm just gonna let it ride. Maybe cooler heads will prevail - from both of us - after NC for a while. Not giving in, mind you - just taking a break. One of my coworkers is going to pick us up and take us to her apt. complex to swim in the pool so that will be awesome! Moving along, step by Step....