Recovery tools...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
And I forgot: I live by sayings, quotes, and such. As if they were holy writ. I have them everywhere: On my computer, on my fridge, in my journal, in my phone. It's the AA/Al-Anon ones, but also a LOT of quotes from SR.
Like Barb Dwyer's "Right now, I am safe. My children are safe." Brings me right back to NOW.
Like Barb Dwyer's "Right now, I am safe. My children are safe." Brings me right back to NOW.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
I am pulling on all my tools right now...especially daily readings, prayer, exercise, and talking myself down in situations where I know the best reaction is no reaction at all. I am not perfect, but I am making progress. And going completely no contact helped a lot. I can deal with my anger and sadness better when not faced with the quacking anymore.
P.S. I am also embarking on some challenging DIY projects around the house, now that I know I am there for the long haul.
P.S. I am also embarking on some challenging DIY projects around the house, now that I know I am there for the long haul.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 271
#1 best thing I did for my self is go no contact with XAB
What helped me get to that point really finally letting go was:
this SR forum thank you so much I'm so grateful
Getting back into working out 5 days a week
My few yet wonderful friends
Seeing my Thearpist
Reading
Take great care of my self, sleeping when tired, eating heathy food, getting nails done, bubble baths, taking care of my skin, dressing up and feeling pretty again, smiling at people, spending time with my sweet doggie and kitty, expressing my gratitude everyday.
What helped me get to that point really finally letting go was:
this SR forum thank you so much I'm so grateful
Getting back into working out 5 days a week
My few yet wonderful friends
Seeing my Thearpist
Reading
Take great care of my self, sleeping when tired, eating heathy food, getting nails done, bubble baths, taking care of my skin, dressing up and feeling pretty again, smiling at people, spending time with my sweet doggie and kitty, expressing my gratitude everyday.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
This thread helped bring my awareness to my recovery tools, I think mostly because I never thought of them with that 'label'. Even though I try to make time to exercise & I KNOW it helps me with stress/coping all around, I didn't think of it as an active tool in my recovery/self-healing program. Thanks to everyone for sharing!
It occurred to me that one of the greatest tools I have used over the last year is finding an amazing acupuncturist (DOM/AP) & consulting with her about every 3 months. {Ironically, AH was referred to her when he wanted to quit smoking & although he couldn't deny that the session benefitted him, he stopped going but I continued. I figured that without insurance right now I am going to spend my healthcare $ the way I choose to. He was still drinking at this point & I was pretty unaware but she was able to tap into that a bit & I think it scared him away.}
Over the course of solving a slew of physical imbalances, it's really helped me to dig past the physical layers & unleash some emotional issues. It's like without the distraction of the physical manifestations of my stress I'm able to tap into the well of my anger, disappointment, grief, sorrow, etc. I just hit this point around late April/early May & we discussed it at our last appt.
She always begins our sessions with a catch-up conversation & since she knows AH & I've been able to be honest with her through the entire process of him becoming sober, she's one part therapist & one part doctor to me, lol.
It occurred to me that one of the greatest tools I have used over the last year is finding an amazing acupuncturist (DOM/AP) & consulting with her about every 3 months. {Ironically, AH was referred to her when he wanted to quit smoking & although he couldn't deny that the session benefitted him, he stopped going but I continued. I figured that without insurance right now I am going to spend my healthcare $ the way I choose to. He was still drinking at this point & I was pretty unaware but she was able to tap into that a bit & I think it scared him away.}
Over the course of solving a slew of physical imbalances, it's really helped me to dig past the physical layers & unleash some emotional issues. It's like without the distraction of the physical manifestations of my stress I'm able to tap into the well of my anger, disappointment, grief, sorrow, etc. I just hit this point around late April/early May & we discussed it at our last appt.
She always begins our sessions with a catch-up conversation & since she knows AH & I've been able to be honest with her through the entire process of him becoming sober, she's one part therapist & one part doctor to me, lol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Another thing I have been working on is to have an attribute that I focus on for a week or so as kind of a mindfulness/meditation type of thing. Some examples are acceptance, patience, compassion and connectedness.
For example right now my attribute is compassion. I do look ups on the internet to read about compassion, in particular the Buddhist view of it. I think about what it means to me, I try to feel my inner thoughts and feelings on it and to absorb it as much as I can at this time. For those familiar with Stranger In A Strange Land, I try to grok it.
I always viewed compassion as seeing other people's pain and suffering and then working to fix it. My view now is that I can see other people's suffering and simply be aware of it and see how it influences them and their behaviors. It also helps me to see where I am suffering and work on how to fix that.
I am using suffering in both the Al-Anon and Buddhist terms. Pain is to be expected, suffering is optional. Suffering is what we inflict on ourselves by not practicing our recovery, by focusing on our shoulda's and coulda's. Suffering in not accepting reality as it is and living in the moment. When I look at it that way I know from my program that the only person's suffering I can fix is mine.
Compassion allows me to see how we are all the same, we all suffer and to know that other peoples actions are not necessarily directed at me but are simple the results of their suffering. It is also a mirror that allows me to see when my actions are being driven by my suffering and gives me the opportunity look at those causes and direct my practice/program at them.
Your friend,
For example right now my attribute is compassion. I do look ups on the internet to read about compassion, in particular the Buddhist view of it. I think about what it means to me, I try to feel my inner thoughts and feelings on it and to absorb it as much as I can at this time. For those familiar with Stranger In A Strange Land, I try to grok it.
I always viewed compassion as seeing other people's pain and suffering and then working to fix it. My view now is that I can see other people's suffering and simply be aware of it and see how it influences them and their behaviors. It also helps me to see where I am suffering and work on how to fix that.
I am using suffering in both the Al-Anon and Buddhist terms. Pain is to be expected, suffering is optional. Suffering is what we inflict on ourselves by not practicing our recovery, by focusing on our shoulda's and coulda's. Suffering in not accepting reality as it is and living in the moment. When I look at it that way I know from my program that the only person's suffering I can fix is mine.
Compassion allows me to see how we are all the same, we all suffer and to know that other peoples actions are not necessarily directed at me but are simple the results of their suffering. It is also a mirror that allows me to see when my actions are being driven by my suffering and gives me the opportunity look at those causes and direct my practice/program at them.
Your friend,
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