stressedwife

I have been here before and aired some of my problems and received such wonderful advice, suggested readings, etc. I have been reading like crazy and doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. I've started going to Alanon too and reading every day in their books. I have found some peace in my life finally! I have accepted the fact that I cannot control AH drinking. I know that I didn't cause it and that he has a disease. I am slowly learning to focus on me....One day at a time....one day at a time. I have to keep saying that because there is so much about me I need to change it's overwhelming. All I can so is take it one day at a time...and keep going back to Alanon.

To those of you out there that are new to all of this and you're wondering what Alanon can do to help...just go...and keep going. My first few meetings I wondered how it all applied to me, but you have to keep going, and listening, and eventually sharing and it will all fall into place. I haven't picked a sponser yet but I do know that by going once a week it definitely helps me. I feel so much better and happier when I leave the meeting.

I have learned a lot about myself, good and bad, and understand a lot of things much better now. That in itself is very freeing!

When I first went to Alanon I told AH I was going. He didn't know what it was so I told him it was a group for friends and family members of a person with a problem with alcohol. As I anticipated, he blew up all over me, never giving me a chance to talk or explain anything. He blamed his drinking on me...which I knew he would. As he ranted, I just watched him through different eyes. Not with my stomach in knots as I used to do, wishing I could just disappear. And I saw how incredibly immature he was in his ranting....how much in denial he was about his problem!! I almost laughed at him!!! I finally had enough and he wasn't going to let me talk so I walked away...just walked away and took the dog outside. I was so proud of myself for that!!

ONe other time I was going to my meeting and he happened to be home from work. Told him where I was going and I would be back later...he asked again what Alanon was and I told him. Got the eye roll but he was fine when I came back home.

This week I went to my meeting. Later that evening he asked where I went and I told him. He just nodded and didn't say anything nor did I. I was thinking, do I start a conversation about it? Then I said, no, I don't. It's on him to do that so I just waited. He asked something about me talking about him, etc. I just looked at him and so we didn't talk about him. I told him it wasn't about him it was about ME....ME! I told him I wasn't going to Alanon to learn how to make him stop drinking...I was going there for ME...to find ME again and make my life right. He just said cool!

I know I have a long way to go but I know I can do it...one day at at ime!

Hopeworks

Thanks for sharing! It puts a smile on my face every time I read about someone taking back their power and getting on the path to true freedom and serenity.

It's out there for those that take those first tentative steps that get more confident as the days turn into weeks and months and the next thing you know you are not baby stepping anymore... you are running with your hair blowing out behind you and know where you are going and who you are again.

stressedwife

For so long I just felt terrible all the time, couldn't seem to function properly and just knew something was wrong with me but I didn't know what, couldn't put my finger on it until I came here and was given a lot of good advice and reading material. From there I came to realize what was wrong..many of my questions were answered. That in itself was freeing for me. At least now I could start working to make myself well again. Taking those first few steps to get started aren't always easy and are often confusing, but if you keep at it, things begin to make sense! I know I'm not all the way there and realize I will probably be working the steps, etc the rest of my life as while it all focuses on someone living with an alcoholic...so much of the information can be translated to other situations in life. Now I'm at a happy place, smiling more than I used to, and I'm actively doing things for myself!

MsPINKAcres

((SW))

doing the Hap Hap Happy Dance for you ~ how awesome that you are doing this wonderful thing for yourself!!

Sept 3 will be 9 yrs in the program for me ~ it has changed my life completely!!!!

Keep taking such wonderful care of YOU ~ You deserve it!

PINK HUGS,
Rita