SherylA

Hi Everyone,
Im not sure if im in the right place or not. But if im not just let me know, My husband is 48 days sober, and i feel like im the one losing my mind. I cant keep up with his moods. the other day he came home from aa and told me he's not sure if he still loves me?? We have been together for 9 yrs. and really do have a good relationship. He was an everyday drinker when I met him, in the first year we were together he stopped. Then we went out every Friday. Thats the was it has been since until 48 days ago. He started aa because it was court orderd and went in with the attitude "I'll do my time" now he really wants sobriety and fully support him. But he will not open up to me or talk about what he's feeling or going through he goes to meeting almost every night now and Im feeling left out. Has anyone out there been in my situation and how do you handle it????
Sorry this was so long!

phoenix

Don't worry.You're in the right place,and what you are experiencing is very common.Alcoholics in early recovery tend to be self centered and emotionally unstable.It's a roller coaster ride.Eventually it evens out,but it's a confusing time...for both of you.

The best thing is to get into Al Anon and focus on yourself.Be supportive but put taking care of yourself first.Al Anon will give you some good tools for being ok no matter what the alcoholic does.Hang on and keep coming back.Others will be along to welcome you soon

hugs

phoenix

SherylA

Thanks Phoenix,
I was very surprised someone answered me so fast. Thanks for the support and I did go to my first al-anon meeting last night and really liked it. I will defineltly go back and come back here too. Thanks again

SUNFLOWERGIRL29

Hi! I too am on this wonderful roller coaster ride (again!!!). I was married (and divorced) to another alcoholic/addict and he went through this period too- I think Pheonix is right- they are pretty mixed up and self-centered in early recovery days. I also think that because they have numbed their emotions for so long with alcohol/drugs that they are pretty overwhelmed by how they feel. I know with him that he didn't even know how to identify what his feelings were. Either way, just remember that he isn't the only one who has been through pain because of his disease- you have been through hell and back too. We spend all our time before we reach this beginning point of our healing taking care of everyone else(especially the alcoholic) and we owe it to ourselves to find happiness too. Keep posting- it has helped me more than anything else- Alanon works great too.
Peace!
-Sunflowergirl29

WheelsATurnin

Hi SherylA,
Yep, you're definitely in the right place. I suggest you get your hands on some Alanon material and read it as soon as you can, and start practising the step. This is a wonderful way of life and you may even find yourself grateful to be married to an alcoholic because otherwise you wouldn't have found Alanon. That might sound crazy now, but once you learn how to start thinking and living the Alanon way, you'll love it. For instance you said you were surprised by the support you've already recieved, but get used to it because loving ourselves and each other is the name of the game. Welcome friend and big hugs.

SherylA

thnaks wheelsaturnin for you fast support it is very much appreciated. For the first time in days i feel im important to someone~~ about time.

Thanks again