Not new to SR, but new to this group
Choosing Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Not new to SR, but new to this group
I've been part of the newcomers/alcoholism boards for about 3 years now but this is my first time venturing into this territory. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 90+ days of sobriety after working on this for the last three years. I'm doing great. Have no desire to drink, am putting my life back together, and working the 12 steps. It's good.
My problem is that I am married to an active alkie. We used to be drinking buddies and actually got sober together on March 6 of this year. But he went back out a month later, while I continued on my sobriety journey. I'm sure I don't need to tell all of you that it's been hell.
I see him so much differently now that I'm sober. He is a good man, with a good heart ... but he just has this one little problem (insert sarcastic smirk here). We will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary on June 12th, although I've known him since 1978. He was never like this until a few years ago. He always drank (he was in the Marine Corps for 24 years and drinking is part of their rituals, ugh), but these days it is really out of hand. I used to be his "drinking buddy" until I got sober, and since I don't drink anymore, he now goes to his favorite bar and will hang out there 10-12 hours a day ... not every day but pretty darned close, leaving me here at home alone to care for our 17 year old son and our 13 year old autistic son. It is frustrating to say the least.
I'm working the 12 steps in AA, which has been wonderful for me, and have a sponsor who is both AA and AlAnon. Getting some great perspective there. But I thought I'd mosey on over to this forum and look to you good people for support as well. Looking forward to getting to know all of you and to benefit from your experience, strength and hope. Thanks so much.
My problem is that I am married to an active alkie. We used to be drinking buddies and actually got sober together on March 6 of this year. But he went back out a month later, while I continued on my sobriety journey. I'm sure I don't need to tell all of you that it's been hell.
I see him so much differently now that I'm sober. He is a good man, with a good heart ... but he just has this one little problem (insert sarcastic smirk here). We will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary on June 12th, although I've known him since 1978. He was never like this until a few years ago. He always drank (he was in the Marine Corps for 24 years and drinking is part of their rituals, ugh), but these days it is really out of hand. I used to be his "drinking buddy" until I got sober, and since I don't drink anymore, he now goes to his favorite bar and will hang out there 10-12 hours a day ... not every day but pretty darned close, leaving me here at home alone to care for our 17 year old son and our 13 year old autistic son. It is frustrating to say the least.
I'm working the 12 steps in AA, which has been wonderful for me, and have a sponsor who is both AA and AlAnon. Getting some great perspective there. But I thought I'd mosey on over to this forum and look to you good people for support as well. Looking forward to getting to know all of you and to benefit from your experience, strength and hope. Thanks so much.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi desertsong, Welcome!
We have a few members who are "double winners" here. It is painful to watch someone we love be so self destructive! Don't hesitate to share here and ask questions. There is a lot of great information in the "stickies" at the top of this forum that are recommended reading when you have a moment.
Welcome, again!! HG
We have a few members who are "double winners" here. It is painful to watch someone we love be so self destructive! Don't hesitate to share here and ask questions. There is a lot of great information in the "stickies" at the top of this forum that are recommended reading when you have a moment.
Welcome, again!! HG
Choosing Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Thank you, hydrogirl. I hesitated to post here because on some level I feel I feel like "the enemy" as an alcoholic myself. But all of the posts on this forum have been very enlightening to me (I am the product of two alcoholic parents as well).
Many of us are both alkies and significant others of alkies, so I'm just glad I have a place to go. Thank you.
Many of us are both alkies and significant others of alkies, so I'm just glad I have a place to go. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Hi desertsong,
I also had the double wammie. Been sober since 8/2/2011. But have been divorced since 12/10/2010. Welcome aboard. Nice to have you here.
You know I once got sober for 1 1/2 years back around 2003, 2004. I went back to drinking because I just couldn't handle it anymore. I still love my ex with all my heart, but that wasn't enuf, for him or for me.
Just wanted to say hi, I hang out here now, more than the newcomers.
I also had the double wammie. Been sober since 8/2/2011. But have been divorced since 12/10/2010. Welcome aboard. Nice to have you here.
You know I once got sober for 1 1/2 years back around 2003, 2004. I went back to drinking because I just couldn't handle it anymore. I still love my ex with all my heart, but that wasn't enuf, for him or for me.
Just wanted to say hi, I hang out here now, more than the newcomers.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
