Did not get dinner, again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 37
Did not get dinner, again
Hugs to all of you. I just needed to share tonight, as I get ready for bed while my ABF likely won't be home until 3:30am after a real bingefest.
He left home with some story about banking and errands just after lunch today, but I could see after 2 steady weeks of work and no drink, he was practically melting down. It was sad to watch, looked like a true addict, but even sadder, was that I believed him when he said we would have dinner together. I think it's happening every 2 weeks now. Spiraling downward. I miss the real him, who is so lost in there somewhere.
I cried when I got home, and was reading SR when a friend called and we talked for an hour. I felt better, and hope to get to sleep soon. I read lots online this week- he is always soooo angry these days, so I sit with my iPad and tune him out while he blathers on- he doesn't even care if I'm listening! Tomorrow I feel like setting some boundaries...lets hope I can summon the courage to do it. I obviously haven't been ready before, but it gets easier the more he treats me like a stranger.
He left home with some story about banking and errands just after lunch today, but I could see after 2 steady weeks of work and no drink, he was practically melting down. It was sad to watch, looked like a true addict, but even sadder, was that I believed him when he said we would have dinner together. I think it's happening every 2 weeks now. Spiraling downward. I miss the real him, who is so lost in there somewhere.
I cried when I got home, and was reading SR when a friend called and we talked for an hour. I felt better, and hope to get to sleep soon. I read lots online this week- he is always soooo angry these days, so I sit with my iPad and tune him out while he blathers on- he doesn't even care if I'm listening! Tomorrow I feel like setting some boundaries...lets hope I can summon the courage to do it. I obviously haven't been ready before, but it gets easier the more he treats me like a stranger.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 433
My AX typically went two weeks between benders. It was a very clear cycle. By the end of two weeks without drinking, it was clear that he was obsessed with that next binge. Sad, but couldn't be stopped because he refused to get help.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((AA))
hate you are experience this painful time but so glad you are here reading & seeking comfort for YOU ~
Please remember the 3 C's
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
Sounds like you are doing well on detaching from his anger and know that it's not about YOU ~ keep using the tools of recovery to take good care of YOU!!
are you attending any al-anon meetings? I know those really helped me, along with SR, reading recovery literature & working with other recovery minded friends ~
Never forget you deserve respect, love, dignity, serenity & safety always!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
hate you are experience this painful time but so glad you are here reading & seeking comfort for YOU ~
Please remember the 3 C's
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
Sounds like you are doing well on detaching from his anger and know that it's not about YOU ~ keep using the tools of recovery to take good care of YOU!!
are you attending any al-anon meetings? I know those really helped me, along with SR, reading recovery literature & working with other recovery minded friends ~
Never forget you deserve respect, love, dignity, serenity & safety always!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
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