A very pleasant update :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
A very pleasant update :)
Hey folks....
It's been awhile since I've dropped in... Been busy living life, how cool is that?!?
My recovery is going so amazingly well. I have finally figured out what it really means to have and keep boundaries. I've gotten great at not accepting the unacceptable. Sounds dorky to admit that, but it's true. I've learned to own my feelings and not be so darn reactive (very big grin) or extreme in my responses.
All of these tools have been completely priceless in dealing with the XAH. I've been able to hold him accountable, communicate clearly and FINALLY stopped taking HIS disease personally. all of that is so important because he's still drinking, probably more now than ever... Angrier than ever... Blaming more than ever... And totally flaking out on visitation, support, and his part of the mortgage (all of which I am completely not surprised by!)
The divorce is just about legally finalized (I call him XAH anyways because that's what he is to me!). The dream house is emptied out of my stuff (as of Monday!) and the closing is June 19! YEAH!!!! I love that the chapters are finally coming to a close.
As for me, today was my 36 birthday and I celebrated it by buying myself a brand new beautiful road bike... Fancier bike than I could have ever imagined. It felt great to reward myself. I wanted it for years but always opted to give e money to XAH for whatever toy of the week he wanted. (big mistake, I know that now!). I am working hard to find balance between mom, engineer, and me. It's not always easy.... Been lots of tears, but sooo much laughter too.
This place is great... Thank you to all the old timers who stay here day in and day out. Your gift of service is priceless
Shannon
It's been awhile since I've dropped in... Been busy living life, how cool is that?!?
My recovery is going so amazingly well. I have finally figured out what it really means to have and keep boundaries. I've gotten great at not accepting the unacceptable. Sounds dorky to admit that, but it's true
. I've learned to own my feelings and not be so darn reactive (very big grin) or extreme in my responses.All of these tools have been completely priceless in dealing with the XAH. I've been able to hold him accountable, communicate clearly and FINALLY stopped taking HIS disease personally. all of that is so important because he's still drinking, probably more now than ever... Angrier than ever... Blaming more than ever... And totally flaking out on visitation, support, and his part of the mortgage (all of which I am completely not surprised by!)
The divorce is just about legally finalized (I call him XAH anyways because that's what he is to me!). The dream house is emptied out of my stuff (as of Monday!) and the closing is June 19! YEAH!!!! I love that the chapters are finally coming to a close.
As for me, today was my 36 birthday and I celebrated it by buying myself a brand new beautiful road bike... Fancier bike than I could have ever imagined. It felt great to reward myself. I wanted it for years but always opted to give e money to XAH for whatever toy of the week he wanted. (big mistake, I know that now!). I am working hard to find balance between mom, engineer, and me. It's not always easy.... Been lots of tears, but sooo much laughter too.
This place is great... Thank you to all the old timers who stay here day in and day out. Your gift of service is priceless
Shannon
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by GettingBy 
Hey folks....
It's been awhile since I've dropped in... Been busy living life, how cool is that?!?
It's been awhile since I've dropped in... Been busy living life, how cool is that?!?
Thanks, GB, for stopping by with that update! Wonderful news, all of it!
:day1
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Awesome, Shannon. I am so very happy for you. It is really cool to know you through my time here - go through many of the same struggles - and hear that we both have reached that 'light at the end of the tunnel' that everyone promised early on. It is real after all! Go figure...
Keep on rockin'!
~T
Keep on rockin'!
~T
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