How do I let go?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 95
How do I let go?
I am sitting here on my bedroom floor crying over 14 years worth of memories. I don't know how to let go. IT HURTS SO SO MUCH. I have my moments when I'm strong but now is not one of them.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
You are grieving. 14 years is a long time. Let it be there, but maybe put limits on it...
I am sorry you are in such pain. I have been there.
It can feel bottomless...But it is not bottomless.
Let yourself feel. A good therapist once told me to set an alarm, everyday. To let myself cry and be destitute for a limited amount of time. Let it be there, all there, and when the alarm goes off, pick yourself up and do your daily stuff. Next day, let it out some more. I thought, how can you just stop? But, you know what? It worked.
This also helps to keep it from feeling endless and gives you a sense of control over your emotions that feel out of control.
Just something that works for me when things are that hard.
I am sorry you are in such pain. I have been there.
It can feel bottomless...But it is not bottomless.
Let yourself feel. A good therapist once told me to set an alarm, everyday. To let myself cry and be destitute for a limited amount of time. Let it be there, all there, and when the alarm goes off, pick yourself up and do your daily stuff. Next day, let it out some more. I thought, how can you just stop? But, you know what? It worked.
This also helps to keep it from feeling endless and gives you a sense of control over your emotions that feel out of control.
Just something that works for me when things are that hard.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
Angrywife - my prayers are with you. I also know that whatever form of God you believe in is right by your side.
Buffalo66 is right, you're grieving. No different than having a love one die.
Rest assured though that even though you will never get totally over it, you WILL get through it.
Buffalo66 is right, you're grieving. No different than having a love one die.
Rest assured though that even though you will never get totally over it, you WILL get through it.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,868
Buffalo stole my response! 
But yeah, I was going to say allow yourself a set amount of time to fall apart, then get up, dust off, and get busy with your life. The feelings you are having are perfectly normal. Allow yourself to feel them, but don't get stuck there.
We're all here to support you, so hang around.
But yeah, I was going to say allow yourself a set amount of time to fall apart, then get up, dust off, and get busy with your life. The feelings you are having are perfectly normal. Allow yourself to feel them, but don't get stuck there.
We're all here to support you, so hang around.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 95
Thank you. I hate this emotional roller coaster. I hate the what if thoughts. I fought so so hard for my marrriage because the good times outweighed the bad. And now it's all gone. So so many beautiful times we shared.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Letting go is a process, not an event. You don't just wake up one morning and be over it. You slowly, step by step, work through your emotions and your grief. You, little by little, start to build a life for yourself, by yourself. Treat yourself to something nice today. Whether it's an ice cream cone, a bubble bath, or just a walk in nature. You can't just turn off the grief, but you can start living.
L
L
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 68
I read something somewhere that said it's ok to grieve the loss of the relationship. I never thought about it like that before but it helps me. I agree with what everyone else says about just let yourself feel the feelings don't bury them, let them out, free them from your spirit and then let them go. Hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 173
It always helps me to "let go" of things when I am near water. The ocean is best 
but it can be a lake, a bridge over a river, or even just a small pond in a park. Being around water always calms me, so I try to take some of what I am feeling--anger, grief, fear--and I say a prayer to "toss it out" over the water. It may sound silly the way I have written it out, but it's something that helps me to work on letting things go.
Sending you strength to get through your sadness!
but it can be a lake, a bridge over a river, or even just a small pond in a park. Being around water always calms me, so I try to take some of what I am feeling--anger, grief, fear--and I say a prayer to "toss it out" over the water. It may sound silly the way I have written it out, but it's something that helps me to work on letting things go. Sending you strength to get through your sadness!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by bonami 
It always helps me to "let go" of things when I am near water. The ocean is best but it can be a lake, a bridge over a river, or even just a small pond in a park. Being around water always calms me, so I try to take some of what I am feeling--anger, grief, fear--and I say a prayer to "toss it out" over the water. It may sound silly the way I have written it out, but it's something that helps me to work on letting things go.
Sending you strength to get through your sadness!
but it can be a lake, a bridge over a river, or even just a small pond in a park. Being around water always calms me, so I try to take some of what I am feeling--anger, grief, fear--and I say a prayer to "toss it out" over the water. It may sound silly the way I have written it out, but it's something that helps me to work on letting things go. Sending you strength to get through your sadness!
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