not taking the bait, not taking the bait
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
not taking the bait, not taking the bait
last night AH went on a crazy rant- I was in bed watching a movie and he came in and said, "can you turn that off I want to go to bed"
So i said, "sure."
Ten minutes later he came into the bedroom and said, "well I guess you're not turning it off, I'll sleep on the couch,"
Ok. I was going to turn the thing off when he got in, but OK do what you want.
then he came BACK into the bedroom, b!tching at me about how I did nothing tonight and HE'S got to sleep on the couch.
I swear, sober he's much more aggressive than drunk.
So I got up and came to the couch and told him to STFU and stop following me trying to talk to me and I went to sleep on the couch.
This morning, mere moments ago, I had just woken up and stumbled to the table with some coffee when he started asking me questions and, when I didn't answer them right away, he mumbled **** like "of course you're not answering me."
I am in no mood at ALL. I did engage with him briefly, but was able to open up my little computer and look at my previous post about detaching from blame, which had made me what? Angry! (maybe it's pms, maybe it's living with a crazy person)
But I'm tucking that away and not letting him get to me and getting my boys up for breakfast and going to work and working on the partnership for my business and making more money and getting far far away from him.
Can't wait.
So i said, "sure."
Ten minutes later he came into the bedroom and said, "well I guess you're not turning it off, I'll sleep on the couch,"
Ok. I was going to turn the thing off when he got in, but OK do what you want.
then he came BACK into the bedroom, b!tching at me about how I did nothing tonight and HE'S got to sleep on the couch.
I swear, sober he's much more aggressive than drunk.
So I got up and came to the couch and told him to STFU and stop following me trying to talk to me and I went to sleep on the couch.
This morning, mere moments ago, I had just woken up and stumbled to the table with some coffee when he started asking me questions and, when I didn't answer them right away, he mumbled **** like "of course you're not answering me."
I am in no mood at ALL. I did engage with him briefly, but was able to open up my little computer and look at my previous post about detaching from blame, which had made me what? Angry! (maybe it's pms, maybe it's living with a crazy person)
But I'm tucking that away and not letting him get to me and getting my boys up for breakfast and going to work and working on the partnership for my business and making more money and getting far far away from him.
Can't wait.
Last edited by transformyself; 06-05-2012 at 04:04 AM. Reason: swear words weren't bleeped out
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((TM))
Hate so much that you had to go to sleep with drama around you & then wake up with that same angry confrontational drama ~ even with detaching it sure doesn't make for a peaceful environment!
Kuddos to you for not engaging in a "quackfest" with someone that no matter what you know you would never win!
Hope the rest of your day is filled with serenity, laughter, joy, peace and love!!!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
Hate so much that you had to go to sleep with drama around you & then wake up with that same angry confrontational drama ~ even with detaching it sure doesn't make for a peaceful environment!
Kuddos to you for not engaging in a "quackfest" with someone that no matter what you know you would never win!
Hope the rest of your day is filled with serenity, laughter, joy, peace and love!!!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by transformyself 
Thanks guys. I'm just grateful I can come here and waste time and space venting. Otherwise POW right in the kisser 
Keep coming here and venting, we're here for you!
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
So, sitting in the back seat of the car just now, coming home from our youngest sons Spring Band Concert, I watched AH be a total aggressive dick to this older couple who were trying to walk at a cross walk. He gets SO close to people, really drives aggressively. I hate it.
The man, this was an older couple and the man glared at AH the whole time, while watching and protecting his wife. It was horrible. I can't believe I was in that car, while he was driving that way frightening people. This is how he moves through space in a vehicle, rages at people.
I cannot WAIT to not live with this man. I am so angry with myself for being SO JACKED UP that I chose a dishonorable man to role model for my boys.
At least I'm not trying to talk to him about any of this now. It drives me further from him, I think. When I engage with him, try talking to him and we engage on ANY level, it's not pretty. It's twisted and I don't know how I am or what I believe in.
Detachment gives me clearer view.
Now we just avoid each other and I have to deal with his passive aggressive BS.
The man, this was an older couple and the man glared at AH the whole time, while watching and protecting his wife. It was horrible. I can't believe I was in that car, while he was driving that way frightening people. This is how he moves through space in a vehicle, rages at people.
I cannot WAIT to not live with this man. I am so angry with myself for being SO JACKED UP that I chose a dishonorable man to role model for my boys.
At least I'm not trying to talk to him about any of this now. It drives me further from him, I think. When I engage with him, try talking to him and we engage on ANY level, it's not pretty. It's twisted and I don't know how I am or what I believe in.
Detachment gives me clearer view.
Now we just avoid each other and I have to deal with his passive aggressive BS.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by transformyself
So, sitting in the back seat of the car just now, coming home from our youngest sons Spring Band Concert, I watched AH be a total aggressive dick to this older couple who were trying to walk at a cross walk. He gets SO close to people, really drives aggressively. I hate it.
The man, this was an older couple and the man glared at AH the whole time, while watching and protecting his wife. It was horrible. I can't believe I was in that car, while he was driving that way frightening people. This is how he moves through space in a vehicle, rages at people.
I cannot WAIT to not live with this man. I am so angry with myself for being SO JACKED UP that I chose a dishonorable man to role model for my boys.
At least I'm not trying to talk to him about any of this now. It drives me further from him, I think. When I engage with him, try talking to him and we engage on ANY level, it's not pretty. It's twisted and I don't know how I am or what I believe in.
Detachment gives me clearer view.
Now we just avoid each other and I have to deal with his passive aggressive BS.
The man, this was an older couple and the man glared at AH the whole time, while watching and protecting his wife. It was horrible. I can't believe I was in that car, while he was driving that way frightening people. This is how he moves through space in a vehicle, rages at people.
I cannot WAIT to not live with this man. I am so angry with myself for being SO JACKED UP that I chose a dishonorable man to role model for my boys.
At least I'm not trying to talk to him about any of this now. It drives me further from him, I think. When I engage with him, try talking to him and we engage on ANY level, it's not pretty. It's twisted and I don't know how I am or what I believe in.
Detachment gives me clearer view.
Now we just avoid each other and I have to deal with his passive aggressive BS.
AH went to Walmart to get a few things and gets into an aggressive driving episode in the parking lot with a guy. Apparently the guy was double parked and AH purposely got his car real close and then cut in front of this guy(AH hates it when people double park, he thinks it's a personal violation of him). Anyway, they exchange a few words and he comes home in a huff. The next AM I hear voices at 6 AM in my house. AH had called the police because this guy at Walmart was a bounty hunter and decided to run AH's plates and pay us a visit in the middle of the night. Yeah, that was really comforting to know a big bald black man bounty hunter knows where I live and has it out for my AH. Nice! UGH! Just part of the insanity!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
[QUOTE=transformyself;3430716]
I swear, sober he's much more aggressive than drunk.
QUOTE]
Agreed. Mine is angry both drunk and sober but is far better able to bully mercilessly when he is sober and gets an obvious enjoyment from doing so.
Being away from him 99% of the time now is the best thing I ever did for myself and my girls.
I swear, sober he's much more aggressive than drunk.
QUOTE]
Agreed. Mine is angry both drunk and sober but is far better able to bully mercilessly when he is sober and gets an obvious enjoyment from doing so.
Being away from him 99% of the time now is the best thing I ever did for myself and my girls.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Liz-that is exactly something that my AH would do!
Just now, he was raving, absolutely fuming around the house because he's, "got to do everything myself," and told me he would have to take me to work early. I walked outside, went next door and asked the neighbor to drive me to work.
when I went back in, he was pacing and glaring at me. I said goodbye and left.
He's clearly escalating and I don't know what to do other than stay far away from him and keep my phone on me.
I do know one thing: if he gets this way when he's drunk, there will be NO hesitation from me in calling the police. I welcome it in fact.
Just now, he was raving, absolutely fuming around the house because he's, "got to do everything myself," and told me he would have to take me to work early. I walked outside, went next door and asked the neighbor to drive me to work.
when I went back in, he was pacing and glaring at me. I said goodbye and left.
He's clearly escalating and I don't know what to do other than stay far away from him and keep my phone on me.
I do know one thing: if he gets this way when he's drunk, there will be NO hesitation from me in calling the police. I welcome it in fact.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 68
Oh geez these stories sound way too familiar. I really though my AH was the only one who drove crazy and acted like the entire world was out to get him. He is so mean when he drives we finally started taking separate cars every time we went somewhere. Now that I'm away from him I don't need to stress about a simple car trip! YAY
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
Good for you!
My counselor told me to visualize me and my AH as the 2 sides of velcro. Velcro has hooks on one side and loops on the other. My husband is the hook side, and I'm the loop side. She said to see myself as something the that doesn't stick to velcro whenever I get into situations with AH where I feel "the hook" coming. Try it, it really helps!
(PS, I visualize myself as smooth plastic, LOL. Not sure why!).
My counselor told me to visualize me and my AH as the 2 sides of velcro. Velcro has hooks on one side and loops on the other. My husband is the hook side, and I'm the loop side. She said to see myself as something the that doesn't stick to velcro whenever I get into situations with AH where I feel "the hook" coming. Try it, it really helps!
(PS, I visualize myself as smooth plastic, LOL. Not sure why!).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by transformyself
Liz-that is exactly something that my AH would do!
Just now, he was raving, absolutely fuming around the house because he's, "got to do everything myself," and told me he would have to take me to work early. I walked outside, went next door and asked the neighbor to drive me to work.
when I went back in, he was pacing and glaring at me. I said goodbye and left.
He's clearly escalating and I don't know what to do other than stay far away from him and keep my phone on me.
I do know one thing: if he gets this way when he's drunk, there will be NO hesitation from me in calling the police. I welcome it in fact.
Just now, he was raving, absolutely fuming around the house because he's, "got to do everything myself," and told me he would have to take me to work early. I walked outside, went next door and asked the neighbor to drive me to work.
when I went back in, he was pacing and glaring at me. I said goodbye and left.
He's clearly escalating and I don't know what to do other than stay far away from him and keep my phone on me.
I do know one thing: if he gets this way when he's drunk, there will be NO hesitation from me in calling the police. I welcome it in fact.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
With AH, I can stand up to him and tell him to back off and he does. It's scary and totally inappropriate, but he's too passive aggressive to shift into dangerous when I stand up for myself.
I am looking at HUD houses today. Also looking for an investor to buy one and rent it out or land contract for me. Feels great!
I am looking at HUD houses today. Also looking for an investor to buy one and rent it out or land contract for me. Feels great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midlands
Posts: 201
My ex was very similar in the car too. Not so much that he would bully anyone walking across the road, but he will swear every few seconds and huff and puff whenever another car is in front of him or the lights turn red.
Very angry man behind the wheel.
Sometimes when i would say calmly 'it's ok, calm down, there is no rush.' He would look a little embarrassed and be quiet, but other times he will ignore me regardless.
It's quite scary when you see people lose it behind the wheel.
What is it about cars that turns even some of the nicest non addicted people into raging demons?
Very angry man behind the wheel.
Sometimes when i would say calmly 'it's ok, calm down, there is no rush.' He would look a little embarrassed and be quiet, but other times he will ignore me regardless.
It's quite scary when you see people lose it behind the wheel.
What is it about cars that turns even some of the nicest non addicted people into raging demons?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by Limiya
My ex was very similar in the car too. Not so much that he would bully anyone walking across the road, but he will swear every few seconds and huff and puff whenever another car is in front of him or the lights turn red.
Very angry man behind the wheel.
Sometimes when i would say calmly 'it's ok, calm down, there is no rush.' He would look a little embarrassed and be quiet, but other times he will ignore me regardless.
It's quite scary when you see people lose it behind the wheel.
What is it about cars that turns even some of the nicest non addicted people into raging demons?
Very angry man behind the wheel.
Sometimes when i would say calmly 'it's ok, calm down, there is no rush.' He would look a little embarrassed and be quiet, but other times he will ignore me regardless.
It's quite scary when you see people lose it behind the wheel.
What is it about cars that turns even some of the nicest non addicted people into raging demons?
Oh, and Transformyself: good for you for looking at places! You could possibly find a great deal on a HUD home!
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