Not come home - scared, what do I do?

Old 05-31-2012, 03:32 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
I hope you've given him a move-out time. Then change the locks after that. Is the lease in your name?

It sounds like he's manipulating you because he doesn't want to leave, it's nicer being taken care of then being responsible for self.

I'm not trying to be mean, I do understand.

I hope you are okay.
Hugs,
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 05-31-2012, 11:06 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
I think you're right. Problem is the lease is in both our names so I can't change the locks. I'm chasing the agent to take his name off but not heard back.
Anon12 is offline  
Old 05-31-2012, 11:29 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
A jug fills drop by drop
 
TakingCharge999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Keep trying.. or can you make plans to move out? I lost "stuff" and money moving away from XABF but it has been one of the best decisions in my life. I know its not easy and I don't know the logistics but when I broke up with XABF, I was in a new city and knew no one and had nothing and I was able to get a place away from him. I just made the decision and remembered I deserved peaceful nights.

I am glad you are going to counseling. Worrying about someone's whereabouts is something I leave to moms of teenagers now. Responsible adults know if someone needs to be informed about their whereabouts and act accordingly. If he gets fired due to alcohol its just a consequence of his actions.
TakingCharge999 is offline  
Old 06-01-2012, 04:02 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
Thanks. I'm getting the letter sent over re: lease but he had to sign it. If any problems, I will need to get landlord involved. Still no communication from him about move tomorrow so really don't know what to expect. Am hoping for best, planning for the worst.
Anon12 is offline  
Old 06-01-2012, 07:45 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 271
You need to establish a clear move out time. Do you have a brother or any male friends that can come with you to your flat at that move out deadline to ensure he is gone?
Te landlord needs to know he is moving out and at X time on Y date his name will need to be removed from the lease. If you don't take these precautions I guarantee you will be posting on here that he stuff isn't packed, he's missing again, he's drunk and can't pack or move...he is playing games with te breakfast and lets have a nice next few days.

Mt XAB used that same line lets ave a nice weekend, I promise no chaos from me youbdeserve it!!! Like all I deserved we're 2 days of no chas but walking on eggshells. Ths guy is setting it all up not to leave and if you don't set the Clear boundries and speak with the land lord....then there is still a little part of you that wants him to stay. I've been there and done that too.

The crap they come up with be some an insult to my intelligence. It's also a gift cause if he was really on his best behavior and not drinking and coming home every night that would muuuuuuch harder.
FindingJoy is offline  
Old 06-01-2012, 08:02 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 237
I set a clear deadline - Sunday. I've informed landlord and agent but landlord is abroad til wed. His stuff is pretty much packed but too heavy for me to put outside. And no male friends annoyingly.

I really don't want him to stay, not now. To make things worse my friend who is away, her alarm company have rung to say they have called police due to intruder alert and alarm going off so I have to gO there before home!!
Anon12 is offline  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:24 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
can you stay at you Mothers until Sunday night? This just sounds like so much drama Anon. It's unfortunate that you didn't think ahead and give your landlord the move out update before he left. Honestly, just stay at your Mom's and if he hasn't moved out by Sunday night go back to your Mom's and start looking for your own place to live ASAP. Put an end to this drama.
gerryP is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:17 PM.