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tomorrow-protective order. Friday new home

Old 05-29-2012, 08:36 AM
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tomorrow-protective order. Friday new home

So tomorrow I am to meet with a worker at the magistrate's office to get a protective order. Calls are still blocked but ex sent me a whopping 315 texts last night and today, and they are still coming.

I printed them out, Most of them where he is obviously drunk, and I highlighted the responses I sent, mainly asking to be left alone. I have been very good at not responding to these and many I didn't even read until today.

The ones in the past 24 hours have been really bad. He is obviously very drunk.

This weekend the bodies of 4 people (man, girlfriend and 2 children ages 4 and 6) were found in this county and there was a manhunt all weekend for the killer. They caught this guy last night. The guy's last name was Belknap. In one of the texts from ex he wrote
"seriously if you didn't have a kid...I would come belknap your A$s".

Another text said I will kill you...you will end up missing, and don't think I'm gonna bury your a$s in WV. God I love you"

Printing it all out at once made me really look at this mess. Pages of this "idiot manifesto" which covers everything from random phone lyrics to the disfunctionality of his family to how he knows what went wrong in our relationship and needs to fix it. Major theme of how I have not given him a chance.

New House will be ready for me June 1. My brothers and sisters are helping me move this weekend. Friday the cable, phone, internet, and utilities get turned on. I have been very careful not to tell many people that I am moving, but he seems to know. For the past year living with my parents has meant that I haven't had space of my own, no privacy, no home....but it has offerred me safety and the knowledge that he would not try to show up there. I really want the new house to be peaceful and I am so ready to be finished with this crap.

He has written that if I got a harassment order, it would not stop him, and he has bragged that since his uncle is magistrate judge, I won't be able to get any help at the courthouse. I don't believe that at all, especially if I bring the "idiot manifesto".

Ugh, I have work to do. I am so ready to be in my peaceful new home.
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:43 AM
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I wish you well,
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:51 AM
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Also I just took a look at my daughter's phone. She is 11 and did not carry it today because she was on a school field trip and phones were not allowed. My dad had said to me this morning that he heard her phone ring at 5am. I said that she must have been excited about her field trip and set an alarm. It didn't occur to me that he would call her number, which isn't blocked.

At 4:52am he called and left 3 minutes of message: nothing but an Alice in Chains song. He doesn't say anything at all but is playing music loudly.

I have since logged onto AT&T and blocked calls to her phone, and I'm going to ask the court to extend any order to contacting her as well.

I feel like I'm going to puke.
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:57 AM
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RIP Sweet Suki
 
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Please stay safe. I worry when these things happen. The most important thing is the safety of you and your daughter.
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:58 AM
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Oh my goodness what nutty behavior. So sorry that he called your daughter Very glad that you are getting the protection order.

Hope the move goes smoothly and I"m sending peaceful vibes out to you and for your new house. That is very exciting!
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Old 05-29-2012, 10:00 AM
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I'm so glad you are going to get that protective order for you and your daughter, X! I can't imagine any judge looking at all the evidence you have and not issuing one right away.

Have you invested in an alarm system for your new place? Mr HG and I have one, and it does bring us peace of mind as it relates to his son.
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Old 05-30-2012, 10:52 AM
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The temp order was granted. As I type officers are attempting to serve it to him. On monday I go in to make it permanent. He can also speak that day, but I am almost guessing that he will be a no-show.

I was instructed to take his numbers off of block and to go about my life as I wish and that if he does anything from send a text to show up I am to call 911.

Good thinking HG about the security system, I was checking into it before.

The court assigned me an advocate through the women's resource center. While explaining everything to her and filling out all of the paperwork it occurred to me how much I had normalized what is definitely not normal.

The way I have been living, looking over my shoulder, avoiding certain places. I have not been able to even sit in the parking lot outside of my daughter's dance school and read a book while I wait for her for fear that he will show up. I have been held hostage for way too long.

He wrote in a text that getting a DV order would not stop him, I hope that was just talk. Now waiting. I'm so ready for this to end.
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:03 AM
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I'm so glad you were able to get the PO. I would still be cautious though. You just never know what he might do. Maybe it was all just talk, but a PO is just a piece of paper and will only stop someone who is willing to obey the law.

If at all possible, I'd still get the security system and maybe some pepper spray to carry in your purse. I'm really not trying to frighten you, but I'm sure you know that sometimes, things happen even when there is a PO in place.
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:16 AM
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Good heavens! I am so sorry you are going through this, but so pleased you are being very level-headed and rational about it all.

Keep us posted and take good care of you and your daughter.
~T
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Old 05-30-2012, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
I'm so glad you were able to get the PO. I would still be cautious though. You just never know what he might do. Maybe it was all just talk, but a PO is just a piece of paper and will only stop someone who is willing to obey the law.

If at all possible, I'd still get the security system and maybe some pepper spray to carry in your purse.
Maybe after you move in, you could have someone from the police department come over and give you some suggestions on how to make your home safer. What kinds of locks to use, what kind of outdoor lighting, things to look out for, etc...

And I would get a great BIG, growly, possessive frickin' dog.
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