Ok behaviour for AA?

Old 05-28-2012, 09:59 PM
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Ok behaviour for AA?

My daughter was invited , urged repeatedly over the last 2 years to come and stay with an old friend who is sober and see what life could be like without drinking. She accepted and flew to Florida (from CA) and he brought her to AA, she went with him to meetings every day, got a sponsor, met his friends in AA. and everything was going well. She decided she needed to stay longer and was looking for an apartment.Without warning he told her she had to leave and he took her to Salvation Army. She called me and asked me to talk to him and find out what she had done. He won'
t answer my calls or e-mails and he unfriended me on Facebook. Her sponsor told her he could no longer be her sponsor. eventually she talked to another person from AA and was told that he had invited people before and his wife was sick of it and made him throw her out. All her clothes are there and her lap top and he will not even tell me if he will mail her things back. He and my daughter were friends in Jr high and high school and they have kept contact all these years through e-mail and FB. This feels like the worst kind of betrayal. I dont know how to get through to him and persuade him to help her get to the airport(She is disabled ) and send her things back. Amazingly she is in good spirits and says she is still going to meetings every day at the SA
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Old 05-28-2012, 10:05 PM
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I don't know about AA, but if this guy is married and has been inviting females over to stay at his place, that's strange. Yes, I can understand why his wife got sick of it. And anyway, I think in AA the sponsor/sponsee thing is same sex only.
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Old 05-28-2012, 10:25 PM
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Some friend-not! This guy may be sober but he sounds like a major jerk. I hope your daughter is able to get her belongings back from him. I'm so happy to hear how well she is handling it and continuing to go to meetings. Good for her!
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:08 AM
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I'm sorry to hear that your daughter was really making progress and then this happened. It had nothing to do with AA, however. Just this one "friend" of hers whose wife had had enough. Perhaps your daughter can find another AA home group and continue her work--find other friends in sobriety.
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Old 05-29-2012, 07:56 AM
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She had a male sponsor? That is very much frowned upon in AA. Sounds like she could find a better group of recovery.

I wish you all the best.
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:02 AM
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Wow--this is disturbing. I feel for her as it sounds like she was doing the right thing for herself with her recovery. I wonder if this man 'led' her into the whole sponsorship thing. If he was truly AA, he should have steered her into the right sponsorship situation.
What disturbs me is that he is not cooperating in helping you or her get her things back and passing the torch to more appropriate sponsor for her recovery. I hope & pray everything works out for her.
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
I don't know about AA, but if this guy is married and has been inviting females over to stay at his place, that's strange. Yes, I can understand why his wife got sick of it. And anyway, I think in AA the sponsor/sponsee thing is same sex only.
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:47 AM
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She can call the sheriffs to get her belongings, you could also call and explain the situation. Friends aren't really supposed to sponsor each other, it is really not in the best interest of either as sponsors are people and sponsors come and go, friendships are supposed to be separate from sponsorship. "No human power could relieve our alcoholism." There are AA meetings in CA.

Sorry this situation happened. That "friend" is not spiritually grounded in my opinion.

Peace & hugs,
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