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Old 05-31-2012, 09:49 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Just wanted to update that AH only got 16 hours of alcohol education and counseling from the state. I had thought the minimum was 32. They are really taking it easy on him, too bad he's already drinking again.
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Old 06-01-2012, 08:12 AM
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Originally Posted by lizatola View Post
Just wanted to update that AH only got 16 hours of alcohol education and counseling from the state. I had thought the minimum was 32. They are really taking it easy on him, too bad he's already drinking again.
Does it really matter how many hours of "alcohol education" he received? At this point he could of got 500hrs of alcohol classes & it would not have helped. He doesn't believe he has a problem & is still drinking.
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Old 06-01-2012, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Justfor1 View Post
Does it really matter how many hours of "alcohol education" he received? At this point he could of got 500hrs of alcohol classes & it would not have helped. He doesn't believe he has a problem & is still drinking.
Exactly! I think my issue is with the system in general. Why bother putting people through this stuff? I seriously doubt it really helps anyone. Many drunk drivers are repeat offenders so where is the proof that this 'counseling' is even beneficial? I guess I'm just jaded about the system and not just about his DUI. It seems like people get off easy for all kinds of crimes, we see it on the news all the time and you wonder: who on earth is running the system? UGH.
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Old 06-01-2012, 01:10 PM
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Liza, in kind of same situation as you. I keep hoping and hoping and hoping that my A will just get it and get into a recovery program. We aren't married but do have a 2 year old together. I have made up my mind that if he hasn't started a recovery program by 6/18/12 then on 7/18/12 I will be turning in my 30 day notice as my lease is up on 8/18/12. I have told A my plan and told him I want him to get help, but ultimately it is up to him to decide to make that choice.

My reluctance with leaving him has been 1) I don't want to live with my mom 2) I want to have a *Family Unit* for my son and 3) I don't want to live with my mom ... LOL. My mom will help me out and all but I am 37 and just like my own space. But, at this point it really is the lesser of two evils situation and I am going to have to live with my mom until I can work something else out.

I guess, sometimes a move just needs to be made to start the wheels of change. If I were to stay in the same place in the same situation, it will just be more of the same. I have given my A plenty of warning, plenty of pep talks, plenty of love and support and guess what, IT DOESN'T WORK. I am tired of putting my life on hold, tired of living in fear of the what-if this what-if thats. I think when children are involved people stay to try to protect them from maybe unsupervised visits or what not, but at this point, I just want my son to know what normal is, what an un-argumentative, anxiety-free environment is really like.

My A went out of town for 6 days and I knew by the first and second day that I am OK with him being out of my life in a r/s sense. I didn't miss him one little tiny bit, not an iota of a second. That speaks volumes to me because I am the type of person who is very loyal and likes having my SO around, except my A has become not so significant to me anymore.

Good luck to you, I have a feeling both of us are going to make it out of our predicaments A-OK.
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