OhBoy

Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamed I saw my AW under a big tree on a beautiful sunny day and she was typing something on a typewriter. I asked her what she was typing & she said her inventory (step 4). I asked her how she already was on step 4. Did she have a sponsor? She said she was her own sponsor. She had to do go through the steps or she would be fired from her job. I urged her to find a real sponsor & to enter a program. She said she called but the guys horse was sick. (not sure what that was all about) She continued with cutting things out of the papers she was typing with a kitchen knife while standing there swaying & slurring from drinking. I started sobbing in my dream. I was crying because of the state she was in, how I felt so bad that she has progressed this far & there's nothing I can do. I woke up & all those feelings in my dream were what they are in real life. Dreams are strange but I've never had one where the feelings & emotions were identical. I guess I don't have to read into this one too much! Any other dreamers out there?

AlreadyAlone

Gosh, I have one that startled me awake a few weeks ago, and I realized I may have actually started crying while still asleep.

My ABF and I are on vacation, tourists walking down a city street looking around. He goes to cross at an intersection, but I don't, staying on the curb because the light is changing. I'm now stuck on my one side, and I see a figure in black rush at him, knocking him to the ground and a very short struggle ensues. I call out but there's traffic, so I can't cross. I yell his name, and when I can, I run across yelling omg what is going on, are you all right! The figure has run off, my guy is on the ground, and a few people are looking around. He stands up and turns to face me, shaken, wide eyed, and I have not quite reached him yet- I'm scared and he looks so weak, then he mouths the words I'm sorry to me.

I woke up in such despair. And hating my brain.

24Years

One evening I was feeling distressed over whether I should leave my binge drinking highly functional AH. I rather desperately prayed for some sort of direction so that I could have a sense of what is the best thing to do. That same evening I had a dream that I was driving in a large parking lot that also had grass that people were parking in. A gentleman waved me to park in a certain area and I became angry at him for (kindly) directing me to an area I did not want to go. I, feeling rage yelled the question, "why do you want me to park there?" and I recall feeling embarassed at how terrible I was treating this person (as if I was watching myself at a distance) and I was also humiliated that my children were seeing this too. The gentleman was unfazed at my rudeness and said (as if to imply don't you already understand) "maam, I need you to move here for your safety." It didn't take me long to realize the meaning of the dream including how much I was fighting the idea of leaving.

BuffaloGal

I have had at least a couple of dreams, one of them recently, in which my aexh was fully emotionally present with me. In the latest one someone was doing a survey or something similar, asking us questions about our family and lives, and we were answering the questions together... in the dream, there was a sense of partnership, of "us," that unfortunately was largely missing from our marriage in real life.

Now that I think about it, I had another one where he was sobbing about how very sorry he was (not sure what for). In the dream I was alarmed. It was so unlike him to do that, to be so out of control. I leaned over and hugged him and said it was OK, hoping that he would stop it because it was unnerving me.