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-   -   Calling 911 for someone who lives in a different state? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/257788-calling-911-someone-who-lives-different-state.html)

choublak 05-26-2012 07:40 AM

Calling 911 for someone who lives in a different state?
 
Can it be done and how?

choublak 05-26-2012 07:43 AM

Sorry if more information is needed, I live in PA, my dad lives in SC and is saying he's going to buy a gun and shoot himself.

dbh 05-26-2012 07:44 AM

When my father was still alive, I directly called the police department in the town that he lived and had them check on him.

db

choublak 05-26-2012 07:46 AM

So I guess I have to look up the number for the local police department down there?

Ugh.

dbh 05-26-2012 07:49 AM

It's easier than you think. So many towns have websites now. You should be able to find it with a quick google search.

BTW, so sorry you're going through this :-(

db

choublak 05-26-2012 07:53 AM

Huh, turns out it might not even be necessary.

Me: I'm going to call 911 and have the police check on you
Him: No!! Don't do that! I'm not gonna do anything today. I'm fine. I'm not gonna do anything. Bye.

Spes 05-26-2012 08:36 AM

choublak,

This is the site I used to get local numbers when I needed a local police department to run a court service for me. The same numbers can be used to conduct what we call a "welfare check" on a resident.

USACOPS: Police Departments, Sheriffs' Offices, Officers, and Other Law Enforcement Agencies

(mods, I realize the TOS for ads but the site has value for welfare checks)

scrambled2012 05-26-2012 08:47 AM

I strongly believe, but don't know how to test without clogging the line unduely, but I would believe you can call 911 from anywhere and the folks can provide the proper responce with the proper agency no matter where the problem is. "They have connections" hahaha

Anappleaday 05-26-2012 08:56 AM

You absolutely can call 911 from somewhere else. My sister was visiting with our mother, her husband called and was not feeling well and not making sense, their call was disconnected and when she tried to call back he didn't answer. She called 911 from my mothers and they were able to connect to local dispatch to send police and an aid car.

choublak 05-26-2012 10:29 AM


Originally Posted by dbh (Post 3417129)
It's easier than you think. So many towns have websites now. You should be able to find it with a quick google search.

BTW, so sorry you're going through this :-(

db

Hmm okay. I just don't want to do any more "work" than what is absolutely necessary regarding this.

akrasia 05-26-2012 10:38 AM

What he's doing is unconscionable. Why are you still taking his calls? You can change your number and not get around to telling him the new number. Presumably he has your address and can send a letter/card if he wants to say hello. You are entirely justified to block this insanity. You have your own life to live.

This "I'm going to kill myself" crap has got to stop now. Here's what: write a letter to the police department of his town, general attention. Tell them your father's contact details and name the times in the last two months that he's threatened to kill himself. Tell them that in his latest threat he said he was buying a gun. Tell them that you've blocked his numbers because he always threatened, then backed down, and you were finding it extremely traumatic. Keep a copy of the letter for yourself.

That way your conscience is clean, and it's out of your hands. DONE.

choublak 05-26-2012 10:51 AM


Originally Posted by akrasia (Post 3417310)
What he's doing is unconscionable. Why are you still taking his calls? You can change your number and not get around to telling him the new number. Presumably he has your address and can send a letter/card if he wants to say hello. You are entirely justified to block this insanity. You have your own life to live.

This "I'm going to kill myself" crap has got to stop now. Here's what: write a letter to the police department of his town, general attention. Tell them your father's contact details and name the times in the last two months that he's threatened to kill himself. Tell them that in his latest threat he said he was buying a gun. Tell them that you've blocked his numbers because he always threatened, then backed down, and you were finding it extremely traumatic. Keep a copy of the letter for yourself.

That way your conscience is clean, and it's out of your hands. DONE.

Curious, what will the police department do with this info?

akrasia 05-26-2012 12:29 PM

They'll do their job. They'll go see him, assess whatever risk there is of his harming himself or others, and either offer counseling services or suggest he have in-patient care. They can't force him to check in somewhere unless, in their professional considered opinion, he's in imminent danger of hurting himself or others.

This is THEIR job. This situation is out of your control.

Lifewithouthim 05-26-2012 12:41 PM

The day my husband died (2 months ago), I was in Canada, he was in North Carolina. I was worried about him, had talked to him the night before and he mentioned he had been throwing up blood (3rd day detoxing and he was alone at our house). I urged him to call an ambulance and get to the hospital but he then said he was feeling a bit better. I had to leave it up to him to decide what to do since I was so far away. I worried about him but that was all I could do - and hope he was telling me the truth. The next day I was unable to reach him, so after trying for hours, I checked the hospitals (by phone) and when they had no record of him, I looked up the local NC police number, called them and asked them to do a 'wellness check'. They went right over. Unfortunately for my husband, they were too late. They had to break into the house and found his body.

At any rate, I was out of the country and I managed easily to get in contact with the sheriff's office. I could not have called '911' from there but it is easy, if you know where someone lives, to call the local authorities. Right after I found out that my husband died, I had to try to reach my sister-in-law in Texas to let her know - but though I found her address online, I could not find her phone number, so once again, I called the local police in her area (found their number online too), and they were able to go over to her house for me.

Justfor1 05-26-2012 01:42 PM

It sounds like his drinking is getting a bit out of hand. Probably best to go no contact at this point.

Looking4ward 05-26-2012 02:00 PM

I had to do this. My xAH was calling all his family and me, sobbing and telling everyone they could have what they wanted of his and that he loved them. He told me he had thrown his stuff out the window and he told his mother that his roommate had kicked him out. He told everyone "Thank you for everything you've done. Goodbye."

I called the local Police Station (he was living in a different city, Thank G!). They went and picked him up and brought him to the Emergency Psych ward. See... here's the thing, at least in NYS, they ask you very specific questions... "Do you want to hurt anyone?" "Do you want to hurt yourself?" if you answer yes to these questions, they are obligated to hold you 72hrs.

When I called the Psych ward the next day, he was all "Oh, I was just sleeping. Why did you think I was gonna kill myself?" BS! They can't hold you unless they think you're a threat to another or yourself. His Aunt ended up getting him out (Shame, shoulda stayed there) and the doctors said: "Typical alcoholic behavior."

No Kidding! Ask me how many times he ended up in the emergency psych ward - once for pulling a knife on me, another for calling the cops saying he'd raped me and gone insane after too much whiskey and coke - and no, that's not the drink I'm talking about.

Ai, the things we find out about the law and mental health institutes!

choublak 05-26-2012 04:13 PM


Originally Posted by Justfor1 (Post 3417551)
It sounds like his drinking is getting a bit out of hand. Probably best to go no contact at this point.

If you're talking to me, my dad is not an alcoholic. He's just "crazy".

Justfor1 05-26-2012 09:52 PM


Originally Posted by choublak (Post 3417705)
If you're talking to me, my dad is not an alcoholic. He's just "crazy".

Wow. I thought only alcoholics/addicts were capable of manipulation. I guess "normies" can do it also.

choublak 05-27-2012 10:02 AM


Originally Posted by Justfor1 (Post 3418105)
Wow. I thought only alcoholics/addicts were capable of manipulation. I guess "normies" can do it also.

You guess? I don't know if that was supposed to be sarcasm, but I do tire of the generalization that manipulation and other behaviors are exclusive to alcoholics/addicts.

Tuffgirl 05-27-2012 10:26 AM

Choublak, I don't think is it a generalization here - I think its a supposition that we are talking about addictions on the friends & family of alcoholics forum.

And I don't think its sarcasm either, but your response sounded sarcastic. Is something else wrong here? I think you've had a lot of good responses about calling 911 from another state.


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