Starrlite85

I am new to this site, my co-worker suggested coming here because my husband is an alcoholic. His drink of choice is Jack Daniels and we have been fighting this for 3 years now. It has affected our friendship, partnership and martial life. I have two kids and I am starting to worry about how this will be affecting them in the long run.
My husband gets very loud and will start to threaten to smack me or leave the house when I refuse to buy him a drink. It has gotten worse this past year and now the kids are starting to see it, before we were able to keep it behind closed doors but not anymore.
He will go great for a week or two but then if something happens he will drink for about 3 days straight. He blames it on stress and our releationship but he wont admit he has a problem. I have asked him if he thought about counseling and getting help but he absolutly refuses.
On top of everything I may also be pregnant and I don't know what to do anymore.

Thanks for any and all help that can be provided.

djs78

I think you're incredibly brave for reaching out to your co workers, I have kept my ah a secret from just about everyone. My parents, co workers etc are all clueless. I also have the same fear and concerns for my children. I don't have ay answers for you but thought you should know, you are not alone and this seems to be a great place to come and find the support and advice you need. (I just joined last night)

sweetteewalls

You have to put your children first. What do you want them growing up with? You can't control his actions, only yours. From someone who stood in your shoes, work on yourself. Someone with a healthy sense of self worth knows what they deserve. I didn't before. I do now. Keep coming back here, great support.

changeschoices

Yes, it's so important to reach out and stop keeping the secret of alcoholism. Once I started to reach out, I lifted myself out of the denial and left my AX. (Not saying you should leave, but I wasn't married so that's what I decided to do).

I think you will find reading on this site incredibly helpful. I've done a lot of other reading online and it's changed the way I see the situation I was in. Just googling "alcoholic" and "denial" will give you a lot of relevant info!

SoaringSpirits

Welcome, but sorry for the reason you are here. Reading the posts on SR, attending Al Anon meetings weekly, and reading a ton about alcoholism and codependence has really helped me see my situation for what it was/is and allow me to take steps to keep me and my children safe.

Two great books to start with are "Under The Influence" by Milam and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. You should be able to get both in the library.

You are not alone, and you are not in an unusual situation. Learning about how alcoholism works will really help you understand what is happening and what you will need to do to make a saner life for you and your kids. Physical threats are very serious, please do whatever it takes to stay safe. Kids are terribly damaged by growing up in an alcoholic home.