gb7853

my gf is in recovery(92 days),she's in CA,i'm in VT.we moved her across country at first of year to be together,she went back in Feb to tend to some personal issues.when she left,we were planning the wedding.valentine's day she says get the ring ordered.a week later,she's in legal trouble and entering recovery.many of her group have told her she HAS to break up with me...we vowed to get through this...communication dwindled to nil.after talking for 10 mins in 5 weeks,she calls 2:30am(eastern time)and we talk for 4 hours.she says we have to start from scratch as friends.i am quite confused as to what to do.i attend al-anon and see a counselor.do i hang in there and hope for the best our cut my losses?everything she owns(except furniture in storage in CA) is here,including her car.i understand that the person who fell in love with me is fading as she recovers,but i was sober and clean and i took it all serious.i continue to be completely in love with her and hope to still be standing when the smoke clears.any ideas out there?

Spes

Hi gb7853,

I read your post several times. It seems to me that your gf has decided to take a different path in life and has pretty much told you that she simply wants to be a friend. You are still very much in love with her and hope things will get back to how it was back when you were planning a wedding together.

Whether it is her legal troubles or her recovery path doesn't matter, she has made her decisions. You are doing what works for you; that is, going to Al-Anon and seeing a counselor.

Break-ups are hard on both parties and probably harder for the person who is still in love. Take care of yourself first. Find things to do for you. Focus on you. Time can be a wonderful healer. I wish you well.

Katiekate

If I said I'm not suprised, would that be hurtful, you are hurt enough, I would be devastated if I hurt you further.

We are so vunerable of being hurt, be it dumped, abused, etc.. when we are in a relationship with and A.

Please, take care of yourself, counseling, kindness, whatever it takes to get you to focus on you.

I'm so sorry you feel so horribly hurt.

love to you Katie

webber1

Hi

Its tough. I cant say this has happened to me but after breaking up so often with my ex AH PARTNER Its not the end just the beginning for you.

Rehab is all about that person in recovery - mines been 3 times and whilst I understand the rationale it does little to recreate real world situations. The recovering AH views life very much about them and sober very much about them.

My advice is this may have been a blessing. It will hurt like hell but then again life with a AH partner is much worse.

Time will heal .. All the best