Church without the A, yay!
 

So, this week I have been dreading going to church today. Last week AH was so nasty when we fought last Sunday. He made it very clear that church sucked for him and it really depressed me because I was so happy that I was going back. We had stopped going for over 3 years because I couldn't handle Ah's negativity, his condescending attitude towards others, his passive aggressive behavior towards church in general, etc. And, the complaining drove me nuts. He would hear someone whisper and he'd turn around all annoyed and get distracted by these people. He'd shoot folks dirty looks. Yet, he'd sit there and say that he's a better Christian than them, UGH!

Anyway, he was getting ready to go play tennis this AM and I asked him if someone was coming to pick him up. Yep. So, he didn't care about missing church this AM and I didn't care that he wasn't coming with us. That's a win win situation right there! See, I was thinking of NOT going anymore because I was tired(again) of listening to him rant and rave about how church services were for women and that men who raised their hands in worship must be gay.

Now, if I can just get him to open up about why he's shopping for guns. He's so lazy, though, that I doubt he'd follow through with his suicidal ideations. He has said that he's not coward enough to commit suicide but with him messing with his antidepressants so much, I don't know where he is mentally these days.

Shopping for guns? That would scare the h*** out of me. Has he ever physically abused you? If so, I'd start working on an escape plan.

No, never. Never even called me a bad name. I'm scared more because I would think he might harm himself.

Again, you have as much say-so about bringing a gun into your home as he does. You have a child to consider, which trumps everything else.

lizatola,

Things change when the antidepressants come into play.
They cannot be stopped and started like that, there could be dire results, because he truly is not in his right mind.

I am so happy you could enjoy your church service.
This could be an excellent way to lower the stress and tension, he can golf and you can go to church.

Beth

I know that about the drugs, but I don't think he gets it. It's like he treats the antidepressants(he's on 2: paxil and trazadone) like they're allergy meds. You know, just take them when you feel like it. I am tempted to ask him if I can take him to his psychiatrist and have the 3 of us meet. He needs to be ready to be honest, though, and I'm not sure if he's ready for that.

I loved church today! He went and played tennis and that's fine with me. I did feel a bit sad at church as I was there with a friend and her husband, too. It was weird to not have a husband there with me, I think it's one of the first times I've gone without him.

Lizatola, please read and consider.

My AH went off his antidepressants. Just stopped taking them all together and went on about his drinking. The escalating angry outbursts were way over and above anything I had ever seen. This from a man who like your AH has never touched me in anger.

A friend of mine is an RN and she told me that he is going through what is called HYPER-MANIA. All feelings are over the top. Anger, sadness, etc all are intensified as the chemicals work their way out of his system. Wild and crazy decisions and opinions came and went but when they were thought of they became the most improtant thing in the world to execute.

I came home that night to a hole in the wall from a bullet in my gun. I had the gun locked in a gun cabinet and AH used power tools to break into it. And then he put the gun on my nightstand and proceeded to pass out. He didn't remember most of it the next morning. That's when I took his rifles and removed the firing pins and barrels. My handgun is now on me at all times. I feel very fortunate that nobody...my dogs or any neighbors were harmed.

I'm not trying to scare you but I want you to be prepared for what may possibly happen. Alcohol is a bad enough drug to deal with. Mixing with meds that are being adjusted or stopped can only lead to disaster.