The irony of it all
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The irony of it all
So, last night I went to my Al Anon meeting. These were always the nights when AH would decide he should get a good binge going. Maybe it was some sort of retaliation for my going to meetings? Anyway, I came home and leaned on his car in the garage for a second as my 13 year old pushed past me and I realize that AH's car hood was hot. So, I go inside and realize he drove on his suspended license to go buy non-alcoholic beer!
So, I guess the irony of this is that he would risk getting caught driving on a suspended license just to buy NA beer, LOL??? Does he need that cold bottle in his hand so badly that he had to risk it? Yes, yes he does. I mean, why not go for the real stuff at that point? Anyway, I had to laugh and tried to suppress any negative things I was ready to say about the driving stuff. Nothing I say is going to make a difference anyway!
So, I guess the irony of this is that he would risk getting caught driving on a suspended license just to buy NA beer, LOL??? Does he need that cold bottle in his hand so badly that he had to risk it? Yes, yes he does. I mean, why not go for the real stuff at that point? Anyway, I had to laugh and tried to suppress any negative things I was ready to say about the driving stuff. Nothing I say is going to make a difference anyway!
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Originally Posted by anvilhead 
liz, you failed to mention that you are married to a 14 year old!!! good gravy talk about stupid. and well......stupid.
i want you to ponder the fact that EVERY TIME he pulls another stunt like this, he is putting everything at risk....your way of life, your financial stability, the whole nine yards. and he doesn't seem to give a ratsazz about anything but his own stupid selfish little game.
you aren't dealing with an equal here.....you are dealing with an overgrown teenager. he's all about seeing how much he can get away with and that's going to catch up with him. and sadly you will at least in part pay the price.
is it worth the risk?
i want you to ponder the fact that EVERY TIME he pulls another stunt like this, he is putting everything at risk....your way of life, your financial stability, the whole nine yards. and he doesn't seem to give a ratsazz about anything but his own stupid selfish little game.
you aren't dealing with an equal here.....you are dealing with an overgrown teenager. he's all about seeing how much he can get away with and that's going to catch up with him. and sadly you will at least in part pay the price.
is it worth the risk?
I have been working on getting all my son's educational testing done and his diagnoses' too. He is ADHD(without the H part, LOL) and his academics are all over the board so I'm trying to get him organized in case I have to put him in school in the future, and for an IEP, etc. I put the braces on him already to lock us in the payment plan so that AH couldn't refuse this in the future.
And, to address Gerry: can you actually report someone for driving on a suspended license. His whole defense for that is that he hasn't received the formal notification from the DMV so if he went to court he would be able to get out of it because the DMV is dragging their feet sending out ppwk. I'm not so sure about that, and it would still cost us money if he had to go to court again. Anyway, I got tired of listening to his defense and just ignore him. I hadn't really thought to turn him in. Wow, that seems vindictive but at the same time is protecting us as a family, too, right?
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Just so you know, most states do not care whose name assets are in. If you are married, they are joint. Same with debt. It does help in the sense that he cannot access and spend those monies, but should you divorce him, there is a good chance he is entitled to half. Sucks, I know from experience. Anyway, you might want to consult with an attorney if you haven't already just to find out where you stand. Doesn't mean you have to do anything right now, but having knowledge can help you make tough decisions if you need to.
L
L
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Knowledge is power.
Especially when an immature 13 year old doesn't get wind of it.
Yes, he would risk everything to get some NA beer.
I am an ACOA, so I see drunks everywhere (or because I am an alcoholic) but, the NA beer could just be a cover for the real stuff. Got a stash somewhere.
Has he been ankled up yet?
Beth
Personally, I would have walked.
Especially when an immature 13 year old doesn't get wind of it.
Yes, he would risk everything to get some NA beer.
I am an ACOA, so I see drunks everywhere (or because I am an alcoholic) but, the NA beer could just be a cover for the real stuff. Got a stash somewhere.
Has he been ankled up yet?
Beth
Personally, I would have walked.
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Originally Posted by wicked
Knowledge is power.
Especially when an immature 13 year old doesn't get wind of it.
Yes, he would risk everything to get some NA beer.
I am an ACOA, so I see drunks everywhere (or because I am an alcoholic) but, the NA beer could just be a cover for the real stuff. Got a stash somewhere.
Has he been ankled up yet?
Beth
Personally, I would have walked.
Especially when an immature 13 year old doesn't get wind of it.
Yes, he would risk everything to get some NA beer.
I am an ACOA, so I see drunks everywhere (or because I am an alcoholic) but, the NA beer could just be a cover for the real stuff. Got a stash somewhere.
Has he been ankled up yet?
Beth
Personally, I would have walked.
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His whole defense for that is that he hasn't received the formal notification from the DMV so if he went to court he would be able to get out of it because the DMV is dragging their feet sending out ppwk
Mine's formal notice of suspension was delivered in person by the judge at sentencing when it was suspended by the judge. Getting the paperwork from the MVD was only like kissing the bride after the ceremony -- the MVD notice didn't make it official, it was just a follow up to the formality that already occurred.
Mine's formal notice of suspension was delivered in person by the judge at sentencing when it was suspended by the judge. Getting the paperwork from the MVD was only like kissing the bride after the ceremony -- the MVD notice didn't make it official, it was just a follow up to the formality that already occurred.
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Originally Posted by Kiana
His whole defense for that is that he hasn't received the formal notification from the DMV so if he went to court he would be able to get out of it because the DMV is dragging their feet sending out ppwk
Mine's formal notice of suspension was delivered in person by the judge at sentencing when it was suspended by the judge. Getting the paperwork from the MVD was only like kissing the bride after the ceremony -- the MVD notice didn't make it official, it was just a follow up to the formality that already occurred.
Mine's formal notice of suspension was delivered in person by the judge at sentencing when it was suspended by the judge. Getting the paperwork from the MVD was only like kissing the bride after the ceremony -- the MVD notice didn't make it official, it was just a follow up to the formality that already occurred.
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After everything surrounding the dwi mine continually risked it all for the beer.
One night (a few months after the ID was removed) after he drove away black out mean-blitzed one night, somebody called the cops. =] They found him parked on the roadside passed out behind the wheel, but the keys were in the back seat and he argued with the cops that somebody drove him there, so they didn't haul him in.
A year in prison, or potentially worse especially for somebody else, was worth it to him for the booze.
One night (a few months after the ID was removed) after he drove away black out mean-blitzed one night, somebody called the cops. =] They found him parked on the roadside passed out behind the wheel, but the keys were in the back seat and he argued with the cops that somebody drove him there, so they didn't haul him in.
A year in prison, or potentially worse especially for somebody else, was worth it to him for the booze.
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Go to a lawyer discuss what your options are, a trust can be allocated as a cavet to a financial settlement due to divorce.
If he takes your car , I would call the cops, you are putting your entire future in jeapordy by allowing him to get away with this behavior.
He is already on near beer, which I believe has minimal alcohol content, next week, it will be a beer, if you believe that he hasn't had one yet.
The judge made it too easy on him, he is cocky and invinsible...until he gets caught again and starts crying like a baby.
If he takes your car , I would call the cops, you are putting your entire future in jeapordy by allowing him to get away with this behavior.
He is already on near beer, which I believe has minimal alcohol content, next week, it will be a beer, if you believe that he hasn't had one yet.
The judge made it too easy on him, he is cocky and invinsible...until he gets caught again and starts crying like a baby.
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My gut says he buys the NA beer to explain the beer breathe but has a stash of the real stuff...or buys the real stuff while out too and pounds it before he comes home.
If that's not the case he's setting himself up for a relapse and isn't taking his recovery seriously. My RXAB always wants to sit at the bar at restaurants to eat...he does this alone, with other people from AA. That's like me thinking I can talk to my X on the phone and not get upset. Why test yourself when it isn't necessary?
If that's not the case he's setting himself up for a relapse and isn't taking his recovery seriously. My RXAB always wants to sit at the bar at restaurants to eat...he does this alone, with other people from AA. That's like me thinking I can talk to my X on the phone and not get upset. Why test yourself when it isn't necessary?
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My out of control addict cousin has had a suspended license for 5+ years. He was once stopped on the West side of Chicago in a drug "hotspot" buying heroin. The cops didn't even bother asking for his license or insurance! Just searched him for dope and then let him go!
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Originally Posted by FindingJoy
My gut says he buys the NA beer to explain the beer breathe but has a stash of the real stuff...or buys the real stuff while out too and pounds it before he comes home.
If that's not the case he's setting himself up for a relapse and isn't taking his recovery seriously. My RXAB always wants to sit at the bar at restaurants to eat...he does this alone, with other people from AA. That's like me thinking I can talk to my X on the phone and not get upset. Why test yourself when it isn't necessary?
If that's not the case he's setting himself up for a relapse and isn't taking his recovery seriously. My RXAB always wants to sit at the bar at restaurants to eat...he does this alone, with other people from AA. That's like me thinking I can talk to my X on the phone and not get upset. Why test yourself when it isn't necessary?
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Oh, and I found out today that he's shopping for handguns online. He's always been interested in guns but never bought one. I am sooooooo not comfortable with guns in this house because of how he talks of suicide sometimes. He's told me that he doesn't have the guts to do it, but you just never know.
I'm just feeling depressed and worn down today. Thank goodness I found a Saturday AM meeting. I am planning on going soon!
I'm just feeling depressed and worn down today. Thank goodness I found a Saturday AM meeting. I am planning on going soon!
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Oh liz, I'm so sorry. You DO have a say-so about whether or not a gun should be allowed in your home. You have a child there, for one thing, and your husband's threats of suicide is another red flag. This is just getting worse and worse.
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Originally Posted by suki44883
Oh liz, I'm so sorry. You DO have a say-so about whether or not a gun should be allowed in your home. You have a child there, for one thing, and your husband's threats of suicide is another red flag. This is just getting worse and worse.
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