Morning Glory

I'll start.

I learned that recovery has to come from within the person and nothing I do can cause that to happen. I learned not to take the disease of addiction personally. It has nothing to do with me.

I learned how to stop thinking about everything I've ever done wrong in my life and learned that it served no purpose to do that. It was a way of avoiding living in today. I learned to let go of guilt.

I learned not to live in hope. Hope was keeping me from accepting things as they are and was another way that I avoided living in today.

I learned to stop worrying. I forced myself to think of something else. I learned that worry was absolutely useless and served no purpose at all. It just harmed me for no good reason.

I learned that I missed too many todays focusing on guilt and worry and hope and expectations. I now grab everything I can today and live it to it's fullest. I take the good I can find and appreciate the blessings I have today.

I learned to treat my son with respect and to separate him as a person from his disease. I know now when I'm criticizing him and expecting him to live the way I want him too even if I think it's good for him.

I learned that God has feelings too and He is not just the big mean guy upstairs. I learned even more that all things work for my good according to HIS purpose in my life. He used all the trouble and heartache and chaos to teach me lessons that I couldn't learn in any other way. I have been set free of many things due to the trouble that I endured.

I learned that I have something from my experience that can be offered to others. I learned that the things that I have overcome make it all worthwhile when it helps someone else.

I learned to accept myself because others here accepted me as I am. I learned to laugh again and learned that there are wonderful people in this world that care about me and that I care about. I learned that I am not alone. I carry you in my heart wherever I go. I will never be alone again even if I should lose contact. I've gained here what I never had before because you were all willing to share your gifts with me.

Happy New Year All.

I can never repay you for what you have given me.

Hugs,
MG

Gabe

I've learned that I can accept things as they are and continue to live in hope. Hope is a beautiful thing. So are her two sisters, Faith and Love.
I've learned that when I truly believe, nice things come my way. I have to look for them though. Nice things are not in the habit of knocking on my front door...yet.
I've learned that giving is just as great as recieving.
I've learned that the best thing I can do when life has me down is to reach out to someone else in need.
I've learned that it is necessary to spend a few moments a day being grateful for my many blessings.
And I've learned that The Beatles were right. Because...
"and in the end, the love you take...is equal to the love you make."
Here's to miracles for all of us in the New Year.
Peace,
Gabe

zoomer

This year has been one of the biggest growing years of my life,but yet I feel I have just got to the tip of the iceburg (or something like that). Being over at the woman's forum, I think I learned too much,but it was fun. LOL!!! I hope I never have another growing year like this one,or if I do, may it come in happiness and joy. I think too that the best thing I'v learned this year was to beable to stand on my own emotional two feet not to mention learning how to patch drywall.

Morning Glory

I remember the year I learned how to patch drywall. I hate to tell you this, but it didn't stop there. I learned to build walls and then I built a room, lol. Thank God I had that dream about the ceiling falling down and checked it.

Ann

You're wonderful, MG, and this is a great thread.

I learned that all the promises those who went before me in this program told me would come true, really do.

I learned that the hardest lessons were also the best lessons, and am grateful for those who kept teaching me.

I learned that God watches over me and my son and all of us, and that he always answers prayer, giving me what I need even if it isn't always what I want.

I learned that miracles do happen, every day.

I learned to have a wonderful relationship with my son, and like MG I learned this by separating the man from the disease.

I learned to speak when something needed to be said and to shut up when what I was about to say served no constructuve purpose. I learned to listen.

I learned that people I never met from places I have never been could be the best friends I could ever have, and I found them all here.

I learned to live again, happy and peacefully and I learned that the world really is a beautiful place.

I Love you all and hope the New Year brings us all the miracles we are praying for.

Hugs
Ann

Stephanie

MG, this part of your post made me cry.

Believe it or not.....I started writing this post 45 minutes ago and then I went to look for the thread where it happened that I learned to believe in myself, trust my insticts, and learned to stand up for myself the right way. I remembered the exact thread but I couldn't find it. Instead I found the thread started by JT titled "The Elephants back" about some difficult things she was going through. By the end of the thread, thanks to MG, we were talking about gas-X, elephant's behinds, and posting the most hysterical pictures ever. It was a classic for sure. Even Elephants R Grey made an appearance.

You say you learned to laugh again, well I just wanted to thank you for sharing it with us.

I also found the thread Smoke started about telling what our New Years resolutions were backwards. LOL, remember that???

Did you ever get bi-foculs JT??????LOL

I guess I learned not to take myself so seriously but when I did, I learned how to laugh at it later.

Most important, this year, as I have already mentioned, I learned to believe in myself. I used to question everything I did or said. I also had to get a million opinions about something because I didn't trust myself to know what was right. I learned that what's right is what is in my heart, even if it's not the perfect thing, it's right for me.

Because I started believing in myself, I stopped allowing other people's words or actions affect how I feel about myself or my decisions or my life. I learned that other peoples motives may not have my best interest at heart even though I thought they should. Finally I learned that people have their own agendas and a large part of what they do and how they behave towards me have nothing to do with me.

You guys believed in me and it helped me to believe in myself

http://soberrecovery.com/forums/show...&threadid=8024


http://soberrecovery.com/forums/show...&threadid=8003

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!

JT

OMG Steph...what a great trip down memory lane!!

At the risk of sounding like a regressed codependent please allow me to share a bit of what WARD has learned this year! He is climbing out of the swamp and has begun to tentatively walk on two legs.

He has learned to respect my recovery even if he does find it all a bit extreme.

He has learned not to fight with the Beav...he only loses credibilty when he does. (The elephant is finally gone!)

He has learned to not close doors leading to the future...anything can happen and we have to remain open to possibilty.

After having some meaningful exposure to a recovering addict he saw that I was right on the mark with my actions and attitudes. He was able to validate for himself that I wasn't totally nuts.

Enough! I only mention all this because it allows me so much more freedom to grow. I would grow anyway...but having room to stretch and not having his rigidity get in the way, I feel a sense of gratitude that I have never experienced.

This year has been huge!

Hugs,
JT

Ann

Oh those posts are too funny! I love tripping down memory lane.

It's not even 9 am yet and i am laughing my head off.

Hugs to all of you.

Ann

journeygal

You guys are so great!

So what have I learned?

I learned that it's ok to talk about my life and my struggles and that I have nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about.

I learned that it's not my job to fix anyone and I'm not responsible for anyone else's choices in life.

I learned that my self-worth doesn't come from being needed by others and that my relationships do not define me.

I found my faith and I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Finally, I learned that I'm not broken and I don't need to be fixed. There may be pieces and parts of me that need a few adjustments, but deep inside I am a good person with a good heart, worthy of love and acceptance just as I am.

Happy New Year everyone!

Petunia

I learned that when I respect myself very little else bothers me.

I learned that it I ask my HP to take it, she will.

I learned that I will snatch it back just as fast if I don't work my program.

I learned that true giving requires no expectation for some outcome/response or it is not giving - it is bribing.

I learned that forgiveness is the best gift I can give myself.

Chalkie

You all have written some very wonderful things. Perhaps this time next year, I can too.

I'm still learning...

12 Step Girl

I've learned that I havent learned all there is to learn and that Im still learning.

Now THATS a big lesson for this former know-it-all!

Great thread,,Happy New Year to a bunch of beautiful people.

Rose56

I have been sitting here trying to think of what I have learned this year. My first thought is that I have learned nothing. Then I think, no you are just being negative, feeling negative. So I go back to my thoughts and try harder to come up with a recovery truth that I have learned this year. Nothing comes to mind. I have not mastered the things mentioned in this post. Maybe it would be easier to mention the things I have not learned.

I have not learned how to live happily with an active alcoholic. I have also not learned how to leave an active alcoholic.

I have not learned how to acheive serenity even for a brief few moments.

I have not learned how to take myself less seriously, to live in the moment, or to feel joy.

I have not learned how to be funny or witty in my posts.

Maybe it is my defination of learned that is all wrong. I have considered all the things listed in this post an have recognized their truth. However, I have not "learned" to use them effectively in my life.

After a week or so of distraction, some of the overwelming feelings of loneliness and need are resurfacing. I know these thoughts are not logical but they do persist. I feel very alone in the world and very needy. Ok now I have found something I have learned: HALT. I am tired and need rest. The world will be brighter tomorrow. As Dori would say: Just keep Swimmin'

SUNFLOWERGIRL29

I too have many more steps in my journey!! But, I look back on this year with gratitude. The words "second chance" keep running through my head...
- I have learned to be happy, I need to first face my own demons (not his, my very own)
- I have learned that I don't know everything
-I have learned that there is a reason for everything and to have faith in my Higher Power
-I have learned that my spouse has a disease and that he is not a complete jerk just because he doesn't love me.
- I have learned the value of taking a look in the mirror and how important it is to focus on my own garbage
- I have learned that what I need isn't always what I want, but that I will always get what I need.
- I too have come to be very very grateful for this forum- although I am new here and still very sick, I have found such unconditional love and acceptance from you all!! I too could never give back what I have gotten here- finally I found a place where I can go and I know without a doubt that I belong!!

Thanks and Happy New Year!!!
Sunflowergirl29