Bummer: Didn't handle myself right
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Bummer: Didn't handle myself right
Maybe because I was just pent-up with anger from coming home after a long really hard week of travel to find AH in the living room drunk and smoking in the living room (which he's not supposed to do).
Maybe because I'm just plain tired of living with the alcoholism.
Maybe because I started letting it out in a post in another thread which said:
Would a good guy smoke in the house when a smoke-free environment is extremely important to his wife?
Would a good guy hoard and hide information about "his" money and then keep stonewalling when his wife INSISTS he contribute to the bills--especially the bills HE racked up in the process of destroying his business by drinking.
Would a good guy know that his wife would love for him to read her blog because it's her only hobby, but just brush her off and never even attempt to read it?
Oh well, I could go on. But that just hit a hot button for me. So, anyway that hot button was already deployed when he returned from his deceased mother's house, which we're trying desperately to sell, and he was supposed to be working on it, but he put in about 2 hours and then just spent the rest of the time getting wasted.
YES, I know you're not supposed to discuss grievances when they're drunk, but I am just tired. So I brought up the drinking, which he's not supposed to do since he's just had esophageal pre-cancerous cells removed, and I brought up the disrespectful smoking (which he's also not supposed to do now).
The bad thing was that during the course of the argument I tacked on the last point referenced in the quote, about not being interested in my blog. Bad move, because that was a PERFECT deflection of the real issues, and he spent an hour ranting on about how I'm writing the blog because I'm trolling for guys I'm going to marry after he's dead. I mean, talk about QUACK. I tried so hard not to get pulled in and I finally did just leave the situation, but the damage was done. Now, my complaints are going to be all about my blog and will have NOTHING to do with his drinking or even the smoking. He played me like a fiddle. Arghhh!!!
Oh, well. I'm just going to get through the night, and stay away from further confrontations.
Maybe because I'm just plain tired of living with the alcoholism.
Maybe because I started letting it out in a post in another thread which said:
Would a good guy smoke in the house when a smoke-free environment is extremely important to his wife?
Would a good guy hoard and hide information about "his" money and then keep stonewalling when his wife INSISTS he contribute to the bills--especially the bills HE racked up in the process of destroying his business by drinking.
Would a good guy know that his wife would love for him to read her blog because it's her only hobby, but just brush her off and never even attempt to read it?
Oh well, I could go on. But that just hit a hot button for me.
YES, I know you're not supposed to discuss grievances when they're drunk, but I am just tired. So I brought up the drinking, which he's not supposed to do since he's just had esophageal pre-cancerous cells removed, and I brought up the disrespectful smoking (which he's also not supposed to do now).
The bad thing was that during the course of the argument I tacked on the last point referenced in the quote, about not being interested in my blog. Bad move, because that was a PERFECT deflection of the real issues, and he spent an hour ranting on about how I'm writing the blog because I'm trolling for guys I'm going to marry after he's dead. I mean, talk about QUACK. I tried so hard not to get pulled in and I finally did just leave the situation, but the damage was done. Now, my complaints are going to be all about my blog and will have NOTHING to do with his drinking or even the smoking. He played me like a fiddle. Arghhh!!!
Oh, well. I'm just going to get through the night, and stay away from further confrontations.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by SoloMio 
now).
He played me like a fiddle. Arghhh!!!
Oh, well. I'm just going to get through the night, and stay away from further confrontations.
He played me like a fiddle. Arghhh!!!
Oh, well. I'm just going to get through the night, and stay away from further confrontations.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Wow that made me tired just reading about it.
Hope you are having a better day today, Solo.
I am always amazed at the deflection tactic and how easy it is to get drawn up into it. No matter how much I work on it, this is one of my biggest stumbling blocks. So now I just dont' talk to the RAH anymore. Makes it so much easier to avoid!
Hope you are having a better day today, Solo.
I am always amazed at the deflection tactic and how easy it is to get drawn up into it. No matter how much I work on it, this is one of my biggest stumbling blocks. So now I just dont' talk to the RAH anymore. Makes it so much easier to avoid!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Originally Posted by Tuffgirl
Hope you are having a better day today, Solo.
Thanks, all, for your support and words of encouragement.
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