It's been a while since i had a good vent
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
It's been a while since i had a good vent
Hi Friends,
It's been awhile. ASis is back to her old behavior patterns again, and it has me sad and frustrated.
My mom has been battling cancer, and yesterday we all went together to her oncology appointment. ASis shows up drunk out of her mind with her druggie boyfriend to my mom's appointment. They sat in the lobby around all these other cancer patients rambling loudly and making a mess; it was embarrassing and made me really mad that she would choose to try to make another situation all about her, as usual.
I later confronted her and calmly told her, "it is no secret to anyone here that you have been drinking. It is upsetting that you would choose to show up to mom's appointment drunk, during a time when she needs our support the most. I hope you can get your life together, ASis." And I left it at that. I have gone no contact with her. I am focusing on being there for my mom.
Just needed to vent...thanks.
It's been awhile. ASis is back to her old behavior patterns again, and it has me sad and frustrated.
My mom has been battling cancer, and yesterday we all went together to her oncology appointment. ASis shows up drunk out of her mind with her druggie boyfriend to my mom's appointment. They sat in the lobby around all these other cancer patients rambling loudly and making a mess; it was embarrassing and made me really mad that she would choose to try to make another situation all about her, as usual.
I later confronted her and calmly told her, "it is no secret to anyone here that you have been drinking. It is upsetting that you would choose to show up to mom's appointment drunk, during a time when she needs our support the most. I hope you can get your life together, ASis." And I left it at that. I have gone no contact with her. I am focusing on being there for my mom.
Just needed to vent...thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 100
Right after one of my major surgeries for cancer my addict/drunk sis locked me outside in the heat, mocking the cancer and laughing at me because I was in agony and just about ready to pass out. I'm very sorry your mom was exposed to that kind of behavior and my heart goes out to you both.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 119
I can soooo relate. My mom was diagnosed with Liver cancer in Dec. My sis lives across country in Vegas. Mom hadn't seen her or grandkids for two years. So I get me and mom a trip to Vegas, probably the last two days my sister will ever see her mom alive, sis was drunk the whole time.
Broke my moms heart, sis has been feeding her BS about how good she's doing...yadda yadda. She had Vodka stashed all over the house, completly trashed our last day there. I haven't said anything to sis yet. Hate to say it but I'm glad she lives across the country. My poor mom
I wish she could die peacefully not worrying about any of her children. All my sis had to do was stay sober for two days and my mom would of believed she was doing good, and wouldn't add to her worry.
Take care and feel free to PM me anytime. We're on a similar journey.
Broke my moms heart, sis has been feeding her BS about how good she's doing...yadda yadda. She had Vodka stashed all over the house, completly trashed our last day there. I haven't said anything to sis yet. Hate to say it but I'm glad she lives across the country. My poor mom
I wish she could die peacefully not worrying about any of her children. All my sis had to do was stay sober for two days and my mom would of believed she was doing good, and wouldn't add to her worry. Take care and feel free to PM me anytime. We're on a similar journey.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. When my mother was dying I had to deal with a similar situation. I know how awful it can feel not only for you but for your mother.
My mother had ovarian cancer for 7 years and the last year was awful watching her struggle and knowing how much thier behavior and lack of compassion hurt her.
I have an alcoholic brother, now with back problems and a recovering meth addict brother both now addicted to pain meds and both are still doing the poor pity me s***.
One brother was always trying to get some of her pain pills. The other brother was only concerned about what he would get when she died. 8 siblings and only 2 of us were caregivers. Other than us 2, she had very few visits, even when they said she only had 2-3months to live, the otherd couldn't be bothered until she was taking her last breaths. But they were there to get their share of her belongings and ask what happened to her pain meds (I threw them out minutes after she passed)
During my mother's struggle to live and since she has passed away I have to always remind myself that they have to live with the choices they made and I can have respect for myself because I did for my mother exactly what she needed and what I both wanted and needed for myself.
Focus on your mother and yourself because your sister and her bf are not likely to change and there is no point in wasting your valuable energy on them.
Oh and btw - if she is on pain meds, make sure you put them away and don't let them be easily accesible to your sis and her bf.
My mother had ovarian cancer for 7 years and the last year was awful watching her struggle and knowing how much thier behavior and lack of compassion hurt her.
I have an alcoholic brother, now with back problems and a recovering meth addict brother both now addicted to pain meds and both are still doing the poor pity me s***.
One brother was always trying to get some of her pain pills. The other brother was only concerned about what he would get when she died. 8 siblings and only 2 of us were caregivers. Other than us 2, she had very few visits, even when they said she only had 2-3months to live, the otherd couldn't be bothered until she was taking her last breaths. But they were there to get their share of her belongings and ask what happened to her pain meds (I threw them out minutes after she passed)
During my mother's struggle to live and since she has passed away I have to always remind myself that they have to live with the choices they made and I can have respect for myself because I did for my mother exactly what she needed and what I both wanted and needed for myself.
Focus on your mother and yourself because your sister and her bf are not likely to change and there is no point in wasting your valuable energy on them.
Oh and btw - if she is on pain meds, make sure you put them away and don't let them be easily accesible to your sis and her bf.
Climbing hills, flying down...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Thank you all--your stories, however painful, really help. ASis wrote me a very nasty email essentially blaming me for her behavior. Hogwash; I deleted it without reading the rest of it.
It is also sad because she was doing well for awhile...but I know it's up to her to make the decision to live that way again. I've gotten off the crazy train again.
It is also sad because she was doing well for awhile...but I know it's up to her to make the decision to live that way again. I've gotten off the crazy train again.
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