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Old 05-09-2012, 08:54 AM
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divorce

I filed for divorce Monday. I felt okay with it. Today is our 3 year wedding anniversary and the divorce announcement is in the newspaper. Only my close friends know I have filed, hadn't told my family yet. They still live under the illusion that love is a cure all. Oh well, I can ignore thier calls can't I?
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:04 AM
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You can do what is best for you today. And the next day. And the next day....

Sending (((Hugs))) and support!

Edited to add: I had a canned response to people when they learned about my divorce and wanted details. I said "I'm not comfortable sharing right now" or "It is rather personal and I don't wish to discuss it". I regretted the few times I tried to offer explanations.
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:17 AM
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prayers and good thoughts of strength, courage and wisdom as you walk this road ~

I agree Pelican on the answers when bombarded with questions ~ I used those same answers "Thanks for your love & support and I know you understand that it is just to painful to discuss right now"

PINK HUGS,
Rita
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:20 AM
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They announce divorces in the newspaper? or was that your choice. Thanks and best wishes.
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Old 05-09-2012, 01:14 PM
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I never married XABF. He did move himself in with me when I moved into my current apartment. I kicked him out six months later, when I hit my bottom and broke things off, but in the meantime he supervised my every move and I didn't go anywhere without him (because I wasn't allowed). He didn't go anywhere without me, either...

Fast forward over a year, and I ran into the cleaning lady in the building some time last week. I was dressed up nicely and she asked where I was going, so I told her my boyfriend's.
She got this look and said, "I thought you were married."
"No..."
Now she has that 'Oh you poor dear' look and informed me, "I'm so sorry."
What could I do? "Well, have a nice day! I've got to get going!"

I think I handled it well, but boy that was awkward.

People outside of our experiences don't really understand. Heck, sometimes people in the same experience are too deep in denial to understand.
I think the important thing is to do what is right for you, and if someone else doesn't approve, too bad.
That said, my family will never know the details of my experiences, because I do not trust them with that information. They know enough that they don't ask, and that's all they're going to get.
And that's okay.
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Old 05-09-2012, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by brownhorse View Post
They announce divorces in the newspaper? or was that your choice. Thanks and best wishes.
Not my choice. It is considered a civil suit and thus put in the newspaper. Believe me, if I had a choice on that matter I would have kept it private.

Thanks everyone for the support. I don't post much but I am reading every day.
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:46 PM
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Wow - you took the step you wanted (er, you know what I mean) to take and you did it. I think you deserve an awesome hug for that. (((((HUG)))))

Just wanted to share with you...our 3 year wedding anniversary was April 18. So though I haven't filed (yet?) I am right there with you. For me, I can't take the stonewalling and emotional abuse any longer.

Keep us updated, we are all here for you.
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