NewbieJ

Hey everyone,

I was reading through links of links from this site this past weekend, and came across a table that described abusers' thoughts and emotions, their subsequent behavior, and how the victim is affected by that behavior. Something like this:

Abuser Feels... Abuser Behavior Victim Feels

Fear Anger, Rage Fear


Has anyone else seen this table or a table like it, and if so can they provide the link? I have searched my internet history and have not found it (grr!) and even my phone history. Thanks!

Pelican

Is this what you wanted?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oint-view.html

There are more links on abuse under this sticky post at the top:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html

StarCat

I've also found this helpful...

The Cycle of Abuse | Domestic Violence Wheel | Emotionally Battered Women

NewbieJ

Thank you both for those. I think the table was somehow linked to that first link, I'm just having trouble tracking it down.

inpieces314

In the past couple of weeks I have been researching abusive relationships, and this is what I learned.
I think that a lot of relationships have some, or even a lot, of symptoms of abuse, on both sides (I know mine does, at least). Which is fine, as long as you can step back and see where you are going. Fix it before it's too late. Change it before it turns into some kind of thing where one or both of you are getting arrested, or one of you kills the other, etc. I think when it gets to the point where it is out of control and you wonder how the hell you got here, it's too late.

There is always a warning sign, but sometimes we don't want to see it. I didn't. But I learned, and I made a couple more boundaries, and that's it. That's all that can be done.

TCB5568

Denies the abuse occured or says it isn't as bad as the victim claims...sounds like my AH