Ndubs

Im a new member to this website and i like it a lot. I'm 15 years old and my dad is an alcoholic. He's been to rehab once before, but relapsed only a few weeks after. He just recently got out of the hospital. I thought the hospital would be rock bottom for him. I thought the only way he could go was up; i thought wrong. I noticed a change in his behavior, a familiar behavior. I knew he had started drinking again. I talked to him about it and he admitted he did. He seems to have given up and i try to pep talking, but he doesnt seem to want to do anything. My mom is getting divorced from him, which is bringing him down even more, to the point of desperation. It hurts me to know that his kids arent enough to help him stop drinking...any help??

celticgenes

My Dad was also an A. KEEP REPEATING THIS: "IT IS NOT MY FAULT". If you hang around here you will find lots of love, help and support. Bravo to your Mom. I was angry at my father for decades. Why couldn't he make us a priority? It doesn't matter.

YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT
YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT
YOU CAN'T CURE IT

I hope you and your Mom check out Al Anon/Al Ateen. The best thing you can do for your Dad at this point is to let him live out his life & choices. Take care of yourself, give him the room to do the same. Investigate detaching with love.

Good luck, live your one wild and beautiful life.

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family Ndubs!

I am glad you found us, but sorry for the reason that brought you here.

One of the first lessons I learned when I arrived here was about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction to alcohol. They are:

I did not Cause the addiction
I can not Control the addiction
I will not Cure the addiction.

It took me a long while before I accepted that I was powerless over my loved ones addiction to alcohol. When I finally did, I was able to give the addiction to the adult with the problem: Him.

I wish there were magically powerful words, or strong enough bonds of love to cure another persons addiction to alcohol, but there isn't.

What helped me was to attend Alanon meetings (Alateen may be an option for you) and learn more about alcoholism. I found a wonderful resource that explained how some people become addicted to alcohol and how strong the addiction can be. The book is "Under the Influence" and we have an older post here that contains excerpts from the book. Here is a link to the post with excerpts:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

dollydo

Welcome, I am so sorry that you are being exposed to this disease.

Have you been to Alateen? I believe going to these meetings will be very helpful to you.

Keep reaching out, keep reading and posting. We are here for you.

chronsweet

Are you able to talk to your mom about your feelings? I hope you can find some courage to go to Ala-teen and meet other young adults who are feeling like yourself.

Anappleaday

Hi Ndubs
I am sorry for what you are having to go through at such a young age.

My father is an alcoholic and my parents divorced when I was 9 years old. Today I am thankful that my mother had the courage to divorce him, I am quite certain I would be a different person today had they stayed married. Although he was always a responsible alcoholic, his love for alcohol always was and still is primary in his life over love of his family.

I am happy you had the courage to post here. Please keep reading and reaching out for support. Hopefully you can talk to your mother or even the school counselor about your feelings. Alateen would probably be a great source for information and coping skills too.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

cricket123

Hello Ndubs

So sorry you are going through this. I don't have much advise to give just remember the three C's.

Best of luck

Cricket