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Finding Our Nemo

Old 12-29-2003, 07:42 PM
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Finding Our Nemo

Well I have to say it is thus far my favorite childrens movie of all time, I've watched it over and over again with my daughter...and even have 2 Nemos in our saltwater tank at work.

For anyone that hasnt seen it dont walk, run to your nearest video store to get it. Thats my official homework assignment...


Nemo is a young fish in the movie who doesnt listen to his father and wanders off getting lost, and finding himself in loads of trouble, the entire movie is the fathers very trying time spent finding Nemo and bringing him back home safely. I relate that movie to the reality of life.

Lovely movie, and Dorie, (ellen degeneres<--sp?) plays her character and is an ablsolute delight. She helps Nemos father throughout the movie in his trek to find Nemo. She tells nemos father in one part of the movie.."You know what you do when life gets you down, (she sings) You Just Keep Swimmin, Just Keep Swimmin, Just Keep Swimmin" it was cute, my daughter will tell me that quoting it from the movie sometimes when she sees im frustrated about something or whatever..makes me smile.


So, Whats your Nemo??

Nemo in the movie was the young fish, and his Father spent his whole self trying to find his son, his only thing in his life of importance to him...

My Nemo at this stage in my life would have to be contentment. A true feeling of happiness and contentment with myself. I have it to a certain extent...but thats one thing in my life I work on everyday, in every area in my life...from what i do for a living, to developing relationships, to my past and being at peace with it and my x-A. Its coming slowly but surely, but I want that more than anything. Its a goal I have to go after it and just keep swimming...to find it.
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Old 12-29-2003, 07:57 PM
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Wow, Bonbon, that's a tough one for me.

My life has really been good and I have found many of the things I was looking for. Actually they were right there in front of me all the time.

I guess if I am looking for my Nemo, it would be confidence. Confidence in myself and in my recovery. I need to stop questioning myself so much and just enjoy where I am at.

Yup - that's my final answer.

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Old 12-30-2003, 04:38 AM
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That's funny you should say that Ann...and Hi Bonbon, good to see you!

Driving to work this am I was thinking about how I need to stop picking through the small things and step back to see the big picture. If I set aside all the small annoyances my life is really quite grand! The small things will work themselves out if I stay out of it.

Bonbon...I have also been chasing contentment. Maybe that is the codie part of me...but then again I see it in many people who don't live with there heads up there butts. I don't happen to be a person who lives in my own world....darn!

With my new found detachment it seems I always look for a way to stir things up. Gotta stop that!!

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Old 12-30-2003, 06:50 AM
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Nemo is a great childrens movie and my 2 year old loves it. Unfortunetly my 2 y.o. picked up on the part where Nemo tells his dad he hates him. For about 2 weeks, everytime my son got upset at me for telling him "no", he told me "I hate you."
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Old 12-30-2003, 09:44 AM
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Oh, Jakesdad! How painful! Owie. Owie. ((((( Jakesdad! )))))

I love this thread bonbon, and that is a very hard question. I'm thinkin'.
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Old 12-30-2003, 10:50 AM
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I too like the movie. I guess too Nemo being disabled wanted to prove himself to be like everyone els or braver. His father was afraid of loss because he lost his wife,so he was over protective of Nemo... A true codie. I guess finding my Nemo would be not so smothering or letting people fix their own mistakes and not leaving me to hold the bag or letting myself hold the bag. I'm itching to get out in the world to find my nitch without being sucked into the gulfstream again and again. Jake when kids get older there words get meaner LOL. My two year old is not talking as well as yours,but I am very greatful for that!!! My older children do enough!
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Old 12-30-2003, 11:54 AM
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Id like to chase:

1. Self Love
2. Confidence
3. Self-assurance

Great thread,,thanks for starting it!
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Old 12-30-2003, 02:10 PM
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WOW.....so deep! I was just thinking to myself this morning as I was undecorating the Christmas tree how blessed I have been. I have gotten everything I ever wanted....even a girl (after two boys). I have been very spoiled....by everyone in my life! Probably the only thing that I can think of that I didn't get was my husband to stop drinking.....or being miserable with his life. BUT I did find this forum and have done a lot of work on myself and though I can't achieve something for someone else....I have achieved a peace with what I can't have......so my Nemo has been found. Peace, Constant
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Old 12-30-2003, 03:07 PM
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Finding my Nemo

Nemo...isn't he that cute guy who works at the Italian restaurant up the street? If so, I could definately chase him.
Seriously, there isn't too much that I am looking for that I can't find right inside myself.
Peace,
Gabe
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Old 12-31-2003, 04:58 PM
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Great Thread!!

Awesome, bonbon.
Happy New Year to all from New Zealand, by the way - it's scorching hot and there's not a cloud in the sky today so I'm a happy camper.

My Nemo would be compassion. It's a art form, and a really difficult one but it's well worth pursuing for myself. I tend to be impatient with those who don't 'get themselves together' which is cruel and inappropriate.

I credit my alcoholic partner with teaching me the importance of compassion, because he was the one who first demonstrated to me the true nature of this devastating disease and he was the one that caused me to seek, and eventually find, Al-Anon. This fantastic support network along with messages on this board have taught me about the importance of compassion.
Thanks
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Old 12-31-2003, 08:16 PM
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This is a great thread!! I have been searching for my nemo, and I think the biggest thing that I need to discover constant humility. This is what I lacked the most of when I wasn't in recovery, and I know that in order for me to continue on and keep growing, I need humility. Without it, I point fingers, justify my own actions, and hurt everyone around me (especially myself!!!). In the new year, I hope to rediscover myself through humility.
By the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
-Sunflowergirl29
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Old 01-01-2004, 09:15 AM
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Great question, BonBon.

As for me?

Love of self.

And whatever the opposite of procrastination and dis-organization is!
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Old 01-02-2004, 07:21 AM
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This is a wonderful thread Bonbon - When I saw this movie I wanted to start one about Nemo too. There were so many scenes that were applicable to my life and I'm sure many others here.

I am striving to be more like Dori. She is so carefree and trusting that she will always be taken care of. It seems like every minute of the day I'm giving my life over to my HP, taking it back, being apprehensive, fearful, etc. When Dori and Marlin are hanging off of the whale's tongue and Dori translates to Marlin "He says its time to let go" and Marlin says basically how do you know we'll be okay? and Dori responds "I don't" - It was like someone just slapped me in the face. Life isn't worth living when you're constantly afraid of what the outcomes are. Its those fearful steps that really give us progress. I've seen it happen in my life since I started Al-Anon. I want to take more risks and have some fun, step out of my shell and be myself.

P.S. Remember the steps, Mate! (I love that part)

Happy New Year!
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Old 01-02-2004, 07:39 AM
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I almost forgot - since she has no short term (or long term for that matter) memory she is always living in the moment and basking in all that moment has to offer. She really lives one moment at a time without all the other junk interfering. WOW!!!
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Old 01-02-2004, 10:34 AM
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I loved this movie too, I loved Dori the best. "Are you following me?" LOL I would have to say that my Nemo has always been approval and acceptance by others and God. I have been chasing after this for as long as I can remember. Placing this approval before anything else. Since I have been married, 20 years, my Nemo has been my husband. Always chasing after him, trying to save him, giving up myself for him, and yet trying to control him too. Trying to keep us safe, being over protective of him and my kids. Somehow I was trying to acheive peace for me by doing this. Doesn't work.

I also love the letting go part and the 12 step sharks!

There is another movie that comes to mind. The Banger Sisters. In this movie, one character, Vinnie, recreates herself by erasing her past and becoming someone else. The problem is that she looses herself in the process. She becomes very beige. This is a problem that I can relate to. Getting involved with a man means that I loose myself and place the man and his interests first. SO the question for 2004 is how to I learn to place myself first?
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Old 01-04-2004, 04:21 PM
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Re: Nemo... I'm a 44 y/o dairy farmer in New Zealand, with an alcoholic son (22 y/o)

I have quite a bit of time in the evenings to myself to browse the Internet and found this site... this topic quite interesting. I rather like the philosophical nature of it. So I put the said question to my son (who works for me when sober). He answered... "to be accepted by you, Dad".

I replied, you know what steps to take then, don't you? he suprised me with his answer... "no, I don't". I managed to squeeze out of him some elaboration, and it appears that I'm both his reason for wallowing in drink, as well as his potential salvation from his addiction.

I'm very confused to say the least!

On another note, I find many of the posts in these forums are somewhat mindless... and I hate to scupper, but this "Jon" that apparently runs the show here, seems to have his backside mixed up with his front - I think (my very own personal opinion, mind) that his apparent care for the members he purports to support is getting bollocks'd by his commercialism. Eg... this Alexa thing he's trying to get members to download - it's a known "spyware" infested application!
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Old 01-04-2004, 06:30 PM
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Dairy Guy,

Gosh, now I'm confused.
Did you come here to share about your confusion regarding your alcoholic son? Or did you come here to slam our "mindless" posts and Jon?
I'm all for sharing expereince, strength and hope in this forum. If that's what you want to do, share away. That's what we're here for.
We're not here to belittle what people post or to criticize the moderators who make this board possible.
Peace,
Gabe
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:37 AM
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Well, THIS Kiwi thinks this place is AWEsome....so there!!!!

HugZ
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Old 01-06-2004, 08:58 AM
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Dairy Guy

I'm just curious...if you find us mindless and you think that Jon is less than the caring, sharing, brilliant man that we all love...why are you here?

If you are here for recovery, then leave that gigantic ego at the door and come on in and tell us about you, and what works for you. Or tell us what you need and maybe we can help you find it.

There are many wonderful people here who would welcome you, even after a rude introduction like you gave. And they would forgive you, not because they are mindless, but because their hearts are bigger than your ego.

And if you are here for anything less than to humbly join us on our journey of recovery, you've dialed the wrong number. Please try your call again.

Your choice - play nice or play elsewhere.

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Old 01-06-2004, 09:30 AM
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Originally posted by Dairy Guy
On another note, I find many of the posts in these forums are somewhat mindless... and I hate to scupper, but this "Jon" that apparently runs the show here, seems to have his backside mixed up with his front - I think (my very own personal opinion, mind) that his apparent care for the members he purports to support is getting bollocks'd by his commercialism. Eg... this Alexa thing he's trying to get members to download - it's a known "spyware" infested application!
Hi dairy!

Welcome to SoberRecovery. I am truly sorry that you find many of the posts here "mindless."

As far as my concern for the members, and your suggestion regarding commercialism, please note that the message boards take up over 70% of the sites resources while providing exactly zero revenue. At one time I solicted donations, however the main part of the site now fully supports the message boards.

I care for these boards and our members with every beat of my heart, and would never, ever, do anything that would go against my committment to providing help and resources for all who seek them. For free, and for fun. 24 hours a day.

As far as Alexa being spyware, if you had done just a basic search on Google, (or Alexa for that matter ) you would find that although Alexa rings alarms in Spyware software and firewalls, the program is not by any means considered a threat, even by the experts.

http://hnb.typepad.com/home/2003/12/...xa_spywar.html

http://www.consumerwebwatch.org/news...categories.htm

http://www.techwarelabs.com/communit...pic.php?t=4027

Alexa only uses surfing information to determine site traffic, and by offering a tool that is really quite useful, I can insure that others can find us even more easily.

So Dairy, how about we try this again. Nicely.

Welcome to SoberRecovery. My name's Jon and I'm an addict and a co-dependent. How can I be of service to you?
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