Relapse.... So sad
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I am sorry, unfortunately, he will be an alcoholic for life, it is just a matter of whether he is sober and working his recovery program. This disease has no cure.
What are your bounderies with him, what will happen now that he has relapsed?
What are your bounderies with him, what will happen now that he has relapsed?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 148
I was in the same boat a few months ago (I posted about it on here).
I RAGED.
I was SO mad.
It was like he was just throwing in the towel! Our future was based on his sobriety and he chose a mistress named "Coors."
I said a lot of things I now regret...
..but there was ONE thing, one positive thing, that came out of it...
...I joined Al Anon. I saw how unmanageable *I* had become.
Please keep posting. This site was a saving grace for me after the relapse.
I RAGED.
I was SO mad.
It was like he was just throwing in the towel! Our future was based on his sobriety and he chose a mistress named "Coors."
I said a lot of things I now regret...
..but there was ONE thing, one positive thing, that came out of it...
...I joined Al Anon. I saw how unmanageable *I* had become.
Please keep posting. This site was a saving grace for me after the relapse.
Lord Have Mercy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 242
Relapse is just the worst. Especially after they finally get completely healthy after whatever detox hell is required to get there.
What has driven me personally insane, is that my AW has never relapsed for just a day or two. There is that moment after the first slip, that little window, where she COULD stop because she is not yet physically addicted. That is when my very best begging and pleading, and maybe even threatening takes place. And it has never worked. I am zero-for-six on these little interventions, every single time the first gulp of vodka has been the beginning of a months or years long descent into mayhem.
This is the part that really drives me nuts. AW, do you want to get sick again? Do you want to get more OWI's? Do you want to ruin all of your relationships? After the first drink, the answer (over the course of 10 years now) has ALWAYS been yes.
I don't know if I can forgive her for this, because in my opinion, after one day of drinking following a long period of sobriety, I believe she COULD stop, but chooses not to, and that makes me mad.
I am sorry that this happened, I truly hope your AH recovers sooner rather than later.
What has driven me personally insane, is that my AW has never relapsed for just a day or two. There is that moment after the first slip, that little window, where she COULD stop because she is not yet physically addicted. That is when my very best begging and pleading, and maybe even threatening takes place. And it has never worked. I am zero-for-six on these little interventions, every single time the first gulp of vodka has been the beginning of a months or years long descent into mayhem.
This is the part that really drives me nuts. AW, do you want to get sick again? Do you want to get more OWI's? Do you want to ruin all of your relationships? After the first drink, the answer (over the course of 10 years now) has ALWAYS been yes.
I don't know if I can forgive her for this, because in my opinion, after one day of drinking following a long period of sobriety, I believe she COULD stop, but chooses not to, and that makes me mad.
I am sorry that this happened, I truly hope your AH recovers sooner rather than later.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 222
The first time my AH relapsed I cried for a week. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and whats worse I didn't see it coming.
I am so sorry you are feeling like I did.
Be good to yourself and seek support if you don't have it
I am so sorry you are feeling like I did.
Be good to yourself and seek support if you don't have it
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Sorry you're going through this. It is though.
I guess he isn't ready yet, the harsh truth is he might be one day, or he never will.
There is nothing you can do, but take care of yourself. Remember to breath and take it one minute, one hour, one day at the time.
HUGS
I guess he isn't ready yet, the harsh truth is he might be one day, or he never will.
There is nothing you can do, but take care of yourself. Remember to breath and take it one minute, one hour, one day at the time.
HUGS
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2
First Post
Hi everyone,
I'm new here, and I decided to join this community for support. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 4 years. When I met him he told me all about his past life, his alcoholism, his time in Jail for DUI, everything. I was naive, did not know anything about alcoholism figured if someone has been sober for a long time they were cured. When I met him he had been sober for 5 years. We also had the same morals/values, went to the same church that I went to and his faith was very important to him. I admired that in him and I admired what he had overcome. Anyways, 2 years ago he took a drink. For the last 2 years it has gotten worse. Now that I know a lot more about alcoholism I understand that when someone is sober and takes that first drink the alcoholic will end up right back to where they started. That's exactly what happend, it has progressed and progressed to the point that I have been suffering from anxiety/panick attacks etc etc. He's not violent when he drinks and he does not drink at home ever but he drinks on his way home stops at the local bar. He's a musician and gives the excuse that he stops by to play some " tunes " with his buddies. He's been in denial, and refusing to get help. Well, about 1 month ago things started to really turn around. He basically hit an all time emotional low, very depressed and self hatred with shame/guilt over his drinking. This led him to seek help and to admit that he could not fix this on his own. A few men from church reached out to him and He joined AA and has a sponsor. Very committed, he has been going to daily AA meetings for 2 weeks now, and is reading the " Big Book" daily. Well, today he relapsed
He still went to an AA meeting and called his sponsor right away. In my heart I have a lot of faith and hope for my husband, I really feel that even though he relapsed the fact that he still went to an AA meeting is a positive thing. He is meeting up with his sponsor tomorrow morning. My question is this : For those of you that have more experience then I regarding relapses, recovery etc etc would you say this is a good sign? Thanks for listening.
I'm new here, and I decided to join this community for support. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 4 years. When I met him he told me all about his past life, his alcoholism, his time in Jail for DUI, everything. I was naive, did not know anything about alcoholism figured if someone has been sober for a long time they were cured. When I met him he had been sober for 5 years. We also had the same morals/values, went to the same church that I went to and his faith was very important to him. I admired that in him and I admired what he had overcome. Anyways, 2 years ago he took a drink. For the last 2 years it has gotten worse. Now that I know a lot more about alcoholism I understand that when someone is sober and takes that first drink the alcoholic will end up right back to where they started. That's exactly what happend, it has progressed and progressed to the point that I have been suffering from anxiety/panick attacks etc etc. He's not violent when he drinks and he does not drink at home ever but he drinks on his way home stops at the local bar. He's a musician and gives the excuse that he stops by to play some " tunes " with his buddies. He's been in denial, and refusing to get help. Well, about 1 month ago things started to really turn around. He basically hit an all time emotional low, very depressed and self hatred with shame/guilt over his drinking. This led him to seek help and to admit that he could not fix this on his own. A few men from church reached out to him and He joined AA and has a sponsor. Very committed, he has been going to daily AA meetings for 2 weeks now, and is reading the " Big Book" daily. Well, today he relapsed
He still went to an AA meeting and called his sponsor right away. In my heart I have a lot of faith and hope for my husband, I really feel that even though he relapsed the fact that he still went to an AA meeting is a positive thing. He is meeting up with his sponsor tomorrow morning. My question is this : For those of you that have more experience then I regarding relapses, recovery etc etc would you say this is a good sign? Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
It must be pretty heart wrenching to feel like *there he was, with you, in a relationship* and then have everything you hoped for *CRUSHED*. Unfortunately, with an alcoholic/addict that is the case more times than not. Sigh.
I haven't seen my ABF sober, gosh, for more than a week in over five years. Time is slipping away into the future and reality has taken hold. I don't think my ABF will ever stop and I have decided I am not going to wait for him. How long are you willing to hold out hope for your A?
I haven't seen my ABF sober, gosh, for more than a week in over five years. Time is slipping away into the future and reality has taken hold. I don't think my ABF will ever stop and I have decided I am not going to wait for him. How long are you willing to hold out hope for your A?
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