Do I reject an alcoholic who is seeking help?
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
this past Saturday, which ended in a spectacular, humiliating incident. When I picked him up from a night out, he had assaulted someone, could not speak or stand on his own, and had thrown up so much he should have had an I.V.
He has made an appointment with a psychologist and has found an open AA meeting to attend.
he has cried for three days
Look at his actions, not his words, not his crying. If he really wants to get better he will be working at it. So far I don't see any work being done. Has he even committed to quitting drinking?
Based on my experience of be married to an alcoholic for a long, long time all I am seeing is a bunch of "poor me's" and some verbal manipulation.
I wouldn't hold my breath on this being his wake up call.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by MarkstheSpot 
I think there's an important distinction to be made between helping somebody who's committed to be being an addict and helping somebody who's committed to not being one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 433
Good point, Mike. My XA had a spectacularly humiliating binge last month--it was truly shocking what happened. He cried all the next day in bed, he considered rehab, he thought about going to AA and then...nothing happened. He didn't do a darn thing to get help.
Two weeks later, he drank again and I tossed him out.
Some people have to bottom out real low.
Two weeks later, he drank again and I tossed him out.
Some people have to bottom out real low.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
"He had always liked drinking on the weekends, and I naively believed that it was a phase of young-adulthood that would pass. Outside of that, we felt like a young couple moving towards a normal adult life. His drinking crept up on me and I did not acknowledge it as a problem until it was too late."
I understand where you are coming from with this. You say "we" felt like a young couple...but in reality, you felt that way, not the two of you. Who knows what he felt, not that it's important now, but anyway that's just my two cents.
I understand where you are coming from with this. You say "we" felt like a young couple...but in reality, you felt that way, not the two of you. Who knows what he felt, not that it's important now, but anyway that's just my two cents.
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