Support...?
 

Just kind of going through some bad feelings today - feeling alone and like no one is on my "side". Only two of my friends know about the incident between the ex and I - one has been kind enough to get some of my things from the house but expressed concern about bothering him during his work-week (which doesn't really exist as work is extremely slow for him right now). I just need to vent - I know that life goes on, but I just need someone to back me up 100% and not be concerned about disturbing him - I want someone to be as unconcerned about his comfort as I am!

My other friend - my best friend, well she lives in another state. I told her about the incident the day after it happened and of course she was supportive. But no calls, texts anything since that day. I went through something truly traumatic and my next counseling appointment isn't until Thursday...it's feeling like a very long time away.

I know everyone has their own lives to live and that just because they're not calling everyday doesn't mean they don't care, but right now at this exact moment that is how I feel. This is the only place I know that I can say anything and know that there are real people who have maybe gone though a similar (or worse, I know) situation; listening and having compassion. So, thanks for letting me vent - I'm taking this one day at a time. :frown:

(Hugs)

I know how lonely this can be. No one else gets it because they haven't lived it.
It is a long lonely and painful road we walk but no one can walk it but us.

Piggypumps, I can relate to the loneliness. Not many of my friends/family knew what was going on with my husband. And those that did, well, sometimes they shrank away from me.

At the Al Anon meeting I attend, they pass around a sheet with phone numbers of members who are willing to take calls 24/7 and be an ear. I've also made a couple of friends who attend Al Anon, and we are in similar situations. It has been helpful to know I can call them and just vent, and they do the same with me. Are you able to attend Al Anon and take advantage of some of this support?

Finally, I actually *asked* one of my few friends, an older and very wise woman who is herself a recovering alcoholic of 25 years, to call me daily and just leave me a message. She did this for the first few months of my separation, and even though we did not talk daily or even weekly, just having that message on my voicemail every day saying "I am just thinking of you. No need to call me back!" made a HUGE difference. I will never forget her kindness.

I'm still very lonely at times, but knowing there are people out there who will "bear witness" if I need it helps me push on.

Hang on in there Piggypumps. I'm glad you're taking things one day at a time - i can relate to that!

I don't know if you have tried Alanon, but one of the great things about it is that people really do understand - many of them will have been through exactly the same as you and even if their circumstances are different, they understand what you're going through. That has been a huge comfort to me. And this forum is just the same - you absolutely can vent and know that people care and understand and want the best for you..

I guess it's something that we only find out when something really bad happens - friends will be "there for you" in different ways and to different degrees, but it is probably difficult for someone who hasn't experienced the hell that is living with alcoholism, to understand and relate to everything that we are going through.

We share your pain and send you lots of positive thoughts and hopes for you to get through this.

And remember, this too shall pass.

I'm so sorry piggypumps. You'll get through this.

Wow, you guys are so great!
 

[QUOTE=SoaringSpirits;3383028]Finally, I actually *asked* one of my few friends, an older and very wise woman who is herself a recovering alcoholic of 25 years, to call me daily and just leave me a message. She did this for the first few months of my separation, and even though we did not talk daily or even weekly, just having that message on my voicemail every day saying "I am just thinking of you. No need to call me back!" made a HUGE difference. I will never forget her kindness.[QUOTE]
Wow, that's amazing that she took the time to do that, I think I will follow your lead and ask someone to do this for me - like you, I think it would make a huge difference. Thank you so much for sharing this!

[QUOTE=Senseofagoose;3383050]
I guess it's something that we only find out when something really bad happens - friends will be "there for you" in different ways and to different degrees, but it is probably difficult for someone who hasn't experienced the hell that is living with alcoholism, to understand and relate to everything that we are going through.[QUOTE]
You are so right - my friend finally text me yesterday and and said she would call me later that evening, I told her that I could really use someone to talk to but I understood if this situation was more than she wanted to deal with. Guess what? No call. :(

Thank you to everyone's comments and support - this forum is a bit of a lifeline for me right now - so thank you for being there!! :thanks

:ghug3

you need to not be concerned with his comfort, only yours right now. I dont know your whole situation but sounds like somthing im going through. Mygirl never used and im going through withdrawls now for my 6th attempt she is just like its the same thing over and over and is just kinda acts fed up. I understand the whole feeling lonely thing today i just joined this ws for the same reason. just dont use whatever your going through it will just make things worse say a prayer if that is your thing if not think about trying it really helping me right now. I dont know how to post a question can anyone help?

I fight with the loneliness all the time, and with the fear that I'm unlovable or broken. Sometimes all my positive self-talk, which I try to do to talk myself out of the broken and unlovable loop, stops working, and I need someone else to say, "YOU ARE A GOOD AND WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOU ARE LOVED." Asking for someone else to be gentle and loving with me is hard. But I need it.

dont know you personally but you are loved when your lonely pray god is always with us we are his children and he loves us when it seems no one else does like the footstep prayer