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June 8 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
What first brought me to Al-Anon: The promise of relief from an intolerable burden. I came, in other words, to “get” something, just as we all do. By and by, I found that “getting” depends largely on my willingness to give – to be of service to others, whether it is just pitching in to help with setting up and cleaning up and meetings, or giving comfort and reassurance to others in trouble. The same spirit of giving must take place in every department of my life, particularly with those near to me. The name of this kind of giving is LOVE.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is canceled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of return, that we find ourselves, build ourselves spiritually.
“Has a man gained anything who has received a hundred favors and rendered none? He is great who confers the most benefits.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson: ESSAY on COMPENSATION
What first brought me to Al-Anon: The promise of relief from an intolerable burden. I came, in other words, to “get” something, just as we all do. By and by, I found that “getting” depends largely on my willingness to give – to be of service to others, whether it is just pitching in to help with setting up and cleaning up and meetings, or giving comfort and reassurance to others in trouble. The same spirit of giving must take place in every department of my life, particularly with those near to me. The name of this kind of giving is LOVE.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is canceled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of return, that we find ourselves, build ourselves spiritually.
“Has a man gained anything who has received a hundred favors and rendered none? He is great who confers the most benefits.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson: ESSAY on COMPENSATION
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June 9 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions! Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I cannot release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn’t easy. It is difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse, and why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of The Alibi.
Yet I know that self-deception multiplies my problems. How shall I correct this?
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will pick out just one character defect I can freely admit, and reason it away, right out of my whole being. Let’s say that I analyze my impulse to RESENT. If I convince myself of its futility, I will see unexpected, welcome changes in my experience.
I will examine my real reasons for every decision I make that INVOLVES TAKING ACTION. If this shows me I am deceiving myself as to my true motives, I will try to correct this self-deception at its source.
“We know well enough how to excuse and color our own doings, but we find it difficult to accept those of others.”
What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions! Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I cannot release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn’t easy. It is difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse, and why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of The Alibi.
Yet I know that self-deception multiplies my problems. How shall I correct this?
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will pick out just one character defect I can freely admit, and reason it away, right out of my whole being. Let’s say that I analyze my impulse to RESENT. If I convince myself of its futility, I will see unexpected, welcome changes in my experience.
I will examine my real reasons for every decision I make that INVOLVES TAKING ACTION. If this shows me I am deceiving myself as to my true motives, I will try to correct this self-deception at its source.
“We know well enough how to excuse and color our own doings, but we find it difficult to accept those of others.”
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June 10 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When a newcomer to Al-Anon tells his or her sponsor about the alcoholic conflict in the home, we must realize this is only one side of the story.
At first, these reports of our grievances are highly colored and dramatized by our confusions. A small incident may be blown up out of all proportion to its reality; constant tension, anger and frustration have deprived us of a rational perspective.
Growth in Al-Anon brings us to compassionate understanding of the alcoholic’s deep guilt and unhappiness. As we apply the program day by day, we become willing to acknowledge that we, too, must share the responsibility for the family troubles.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Al-Anon’s challenge to me is this: deliberately to cancel out my thoughts of grievances against others, especially the alcoholic; to face the real causes of much of my misery, and to believe that I can do a great deal to improve my life by rooting out my own shortcomings.
“If you are pained by any external thing, look to yourself for release from it. When circumstances cause you to be disturbed, return to yourself quickly; do not remain out of tune with the Universal Good.”
When a newcomer to Al-Anon tells his or her sponsor about the alcoholic conflict in the home, we must realize this is only one side of the story.
At first, these reports of our grievances are highly colored and dramatized by our confusions. A small incident may be blown up out of all proportion to its reality; constant tension, anger and frustration have deprived us of a rational perspective.
Growth in Al-Anon brings us to compassionate understanding of the alcoholic’s deep guilt and unhappiness. As we apply the program day by day, we become willing to acknowledge that we, too, must share the responsibility for the family troubles.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Al-Anon’s challenge to me is this: deliberately to cancel out my thoughts of grievances against others, especially the alcoholic; to face the real causes of much of my misery, and to believe that I can do a great deal to improve my life by rooting out my own shortcomings.
“If you are pained by any external thing, look to yourself for release from it. When circumstances cause you to be disturbed, return to yourself quickly; do not remain out of tune with the Universal Good.”
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June 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Our inspiring slogans mean such different things to different people! One woman, faced by a crisis, may say confidently: “I will let go and let God.” In this case, it is a courageous statement of faith that good must prevail, and that any decision she “might” have made, based solely on her human judgment, could have been unwise. She leaves the problem to God, expecting His guidance on what to do.
In another instance, Let Go and Let God may be a despairing statement of defeatism, an expression of apathy, of unwillingness to play one’s role in the task at hand.
Those who simply turn their backs on their problems are not “letting go and letting God” – they are abandoning their commitment to act on God’s inspiration and guidance. They do not ask for or expect help; they want the whole job done for them.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I cannot simply shrug off the responsibility for facing my problems, however great they may be. True, I need God’s guidance, but acting upon it is my job; I cannot evade it without turning my back on life itself.
“Let me not yield to apathy or defeatism, when in and all around me are the evidences of a loving God who will help me in all my need.”
Our inspiring slogans mean such different things to different people! One woman, faced by a crisis, may say confidently: “I will let go and let God.” In this case, it is a courageous statement of faith that good must prevail, and that any decision she “might” have made, based solely on her human judgment, could have been unwise. She leaves the problem to God, expecting His guidance on what to do.
In another instance, Let Go and Let God may be a despairing statement of defeatism, an expression of apathy, of unwillingness to play one’s role in the task at hand.
Those who simply turn their backs on their problems are not “letting go and letting God” – they are abandoning their commitment to act on God’s inspiration and guidance. They do not ask for or expect help; they want the whole job done for them.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I cannot simply shrug off the responsibility for facing my problems, however great they may be. True, I need God’s guidance, but acting upon it is my job; I cannot evade it without turning my back on life itself.
“Let me not yield to apathy or defeatism, when in and all around me are the evidences of a loving God who will help me in all my need.”
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June 12 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
It is really a pity we cannot go to market and buy ourselves a big chunk of sense of humor just as we would buy a package of yeast. They do about the same kind of job: yeast gives lightness and pleasant texture and taste to bread; the bit of humor works to lighten the heavy seriousness of our daily living, and smoothes out the rough spots in our communications with each other.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I want to remember, every time I’m tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad, after all. Maybe, if I look closely, it has an element of fun – fantasy, absurdity or even a relieving silliness. My mood makes it look black when I could spark it with a dash of rosy pink.
I’ll try to look for the things that can add gaiety to my life to offset the solemn or troubling ones. I’ll cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying numerous moments. This could be a really constructive way of detaching my mind from my daily difficulties.
“It is usually anxiety that bars us from seeing the lighter, brighter things of life. The anxiety exists within us, so we are free to reject its influence on the way we react to what happens to us.”
It is really a pity we cannot go to market and buy ourselves a big chunk of sense of humor just as we would buy a package of yeast. They do about the same kind of job: yeast gives lightness and pleasant texture and taste to bread; the bit of humor works to lighten the heavy seriousness of our daily living, and smoothes out the rough spots in our communications with each other.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I want to remember, every time I’m tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad, after all. Maybe, if I look closely, it has an element of fun – fantasy, absurdity or even a relieving silliness. My mood makes it look black when I could spark it with a dash of rosy pink.
I’ll try to look for the things that can add gaiety to my life to offset the solemn or troubling ones. I’ll cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying numerous moments. This could be a really constructive way of detaching my mind from my daily difficulties.
“It is usually anxiety that bars us from seeing the lighter, brighter things of life. The anxiety exists within us, so we are free to reject its influence on the way we react to what happens to us.”
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June 13 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
An Al-Anon member of long-standing writes of a tragic estrangement between her beloved grown daughter and herself. She had tried to prevent the girl from making what seemed to her to be a wrong decision, just as, years before, she had tried to compel her husband to stop drinking.
“Although I feared we would never be reconciled, I hoped I could find an answer in our program. I concentrated on the First Step: my powerlessness over others. What patience it took! What a constant temptation to take action, rather than leave the problem to God. But I made it –and it worked. The seemingly unyielding barrier of silence, and, yes, hatred, melted away. We have learned again to love, by accepting each other as we are.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
How often, in a crisis, we find it better to wait patiently for a problem to work itself out through a natural, inevitable process, than constantly to inject our own, perhaps misguided, control into it.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island.)
An Al-Anon member of long-standing writes of a tragic estrangement between her beloved grown daughter and herself. She had tried to prevent the girl from making what seemed to her to be a wrong decision, just as, years before, she had tried to compel her husband to stop drinking.
“Although I feared we would never be reconciled, I hoped I could find an answer in our program. I concentrated on the First Step: my powerlessness over others. What patience it took! What a constant temptation to take action, rather than leave the problem to God. But I made it –and it worked. The seemingly unyielding barrier of silence, and, yes, hatred, melted away. We have learned again to love, by accepting each other as we are.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
How often, in a crisis, we find it better to wait patiently for a problem to work itself out through a natural, inevitable process, than constantly to inject our own, perhaps misguided, control into it.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island.)
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June 14 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
If someone were to say to me, “Here is a medicine that can change your whole life for the better; it will put you in a state of relaxed serenity, help you overcome the nagging undercurrent of guilt for past errors, give you new insight into yourself and your spiritual value, and let you meet life’s challenges with confidence and courage,” would I take it?
That is the promise of the Twelve Steps of AA and Al-Anon, if we do not cling to our burdens, our emotional upsets, family wrangling and wretchedness.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will set aside a time each day to center my thoughts on the Twelve Steps. I will take them one at a time and observe how constant study changes my point of view.
It is no easy assignment, but life without them isn’t easy either. My choice will be to take this beneficial medicine and let its healing magic work in me.
“The Twelve Steps of AA which we try to follow are not easy. At first we may think some of them unnecessary, but if we are honest with ourselves, we will find that they all apply to us…” (Al-Anon: Suggested Welcome)*
If someone were to say to me, “Here is a medicine that can change your whole life for the better; it will put you in a state of relaxed serenity, help you overcome the nagging undercurrent of guilt for past errors, give you new insight into yourself and your spiritual value, and let you meet life’s challenges with confidence and courage,” would I take it?
That is the promise of the Twelve Steps of AA and Al-Anon, if we do not cling to our burdens, our emotional upsets, family wrangling and wretchedness.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will set aside a time each day to center my thoughts on the Twelve Steps. I will take them one at a time and observe how constant study changes my point of view.
It is no easy assignment, but life without them isn’t easy either. My choice will be to take this beneficial medicine and let its healing magic work in me.
“The Twelve Steps of AA which we try to follow are not easy. At first we may think some of them unnecessary, but if we are honest with ourselves, we will find that they all apply to us…” (Al-Anon: Suggested Welcome)*
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June 15 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When we come into Al-Anon, our main preoccupation is the alcoholism of someone who is important in our live. Step One says, “…admitted we were powerless over alcohol…” We must sooner or later accept the fact that we have no way to stop the compulsion to drink. The desire for sobriety can come only from the alcoholic.
We may guide or inspire by our example, but we cannot cast another person, however close to us, into the mold that we choose.
The second part of Step One is easier to accept, “…our lives have become unmanageable.” This, we know. What we may not know, at this point, is what to do about it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I understand that the First Step demands that I surrender the reins of control over other human beings. It reminds me that my life has become unmanageable; my first task is to set it in order. If I earnestly want to manage my life, I will have no time to manage anyone else’s.
“The First Step suggests a radical change in me – in my way of thinking about the alcoholic and my attitude toward him and his illness. Old destructive habit patterns must be replaced…”
When we come into Al-Anon, our main preoccupation is the alcoholism of someone who is important in our live. Step One says, “…admitted we were powerless over alcohol…” We must sooner or later accept the fact that we have no way to stop the compulsion to drink. The desire for sobriety can come only from the alcoholic.
We may guide or inspire by our example, but we cannot cast another person, however close to us, into the mold that we choose.
The second part of Step One is easier to accept, “…our lives have become unmanageable.” This, we know. What we may not know, at this point, is what to do about it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I understand that the First Step demands that I surrender the reins of control over other human beings. It reminds me that my life has become unmanageable; my first task is to set it in order. If I earnestly want to manage my life, I will have no time to manage anyone else’s.
“The First Step suggests a radical change in me – in my way of thinking about the alcoholic and my attitude toward him and his illness. Old destructive habit patterns must be replaced…”
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June 17 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
By the time we reach our study of Step Three, we begin to get a sensation of gently, gradually, being led to truths we never realized or put to use.
This Step is a challenge to each of us, personally. It suggests a decision: to Let Go and Let God take a hand in our affairs, which He can do only if we surrender our self-will and turn our lives over to His care.
Step Three is a distillation of the central thought of philosophers through the centuries. Wouldn’t it be wise to accept their wisdom as greater than my own?
TODAY’S REMINDER
The words, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him,” could make life so easy for me, if only I could subordinate my will to His. This is a stumbling block for so many of us: we feel obliged to apply the force of our will to our problems. No solutions can be found in this way.
“There is guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening, we shall hear the right word. Certainly there is a right for you that needs no choice on your part. Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom, which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and to perfect contentment.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
June 16 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
New people in Al-Anon react in various ways to the First Step. Most of them accept the idea of powerlessness, but only with reservations. They find it difficult to believe there is nothing they can do directly to compel the alcoholic to stop drinking.
Step Two immediately sounds the ringing note of hope. It assures us that help is at hand, the help of a Power beyond anything we can understand or imagine.
What can this Power do for me? It can “restore us to sanity.” It can set my feet on firm ground and show me the way to renew my life, which now may be too troubled to allow me to think straight.
My despair may have been so great that I had lost the faith I once had – the complete, surrendering faith in something beyond myself.
TODAY’S REMINDER
In my great need of comfort and reassurance, the Second Step suggests I surrender my will to the wisdom of a loving God in my effort to find a sane and reasonable way of life.
“A little consideration of what takes place around us every day, would show us that a higher law than that of our will, regulates events; that our painful experiences are not necessary. A believing love will relieve us of a vast load of care. Oh, my brothers, God exists!” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
By the time we reach our study of Step Three, we begin to get a sensation of gently, gradually, being led to truths we never realized or put to use.
This Step is a challenge to each of us, personally. It suggests a decision: to Let Go and Let God take a hand in our affairs, which He can do only if we surrender our self-will and turn our lives over to His care.
Step Three is a distillation of the central thought of philosophers through the centuries. Wouldn’t it be wise to accept their wisdom as greater than my own?
TODAY’S REMINDER
The words, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him,” could make life so easy for me, if only I could subordinate my will to His. This is a stumbling block for so many of us: we feel obliged to apply the force of our will to our problems. No solutions can be found in this way.
“There is guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening, we shall hear the right word. Certainly there is a right for you that needs no choice on your part. Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom, which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and to perfect contentment.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
June 16 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
New people in Al-Anon react in various ways to the First Step. Most of them accept the idea of powerlessness, but only with reservations. They find it difficult to believe there is nothing they can do directly to compel the alcoholic to stop drinking.
Step Two immediately sounds the ringing note of hope. It assures us that help is at hand, the help of a Power beyond anything we can understand or imagine.
What can this Power do for me? It can “restore us to sanity.” It can set my feet on firm ground and show me the way to renew my life, which now may be too troubled to allow me to think straight.
My despair may have been so great that I had lost the faith I once had – the complete, surrendering faith in something beyond myself.
TODAY’S REMINDER
In my great need of comfort and reassurance, the Second Step suggests I surrender my will to the wisdom of a loving God in my effort to find a sane and reasonable way of life.
“A little consideration of what takes place around us every day, would show us that a higher law than that of our will, regulates events; that our painful experiences are not necessary. A believing love will relieve us of a vast load of care. Oh, my brothers, God exists!” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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June 18 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The Greek philosopher Socrates said, “Know Thyself.” Step Four tells us how to go about it, making “…a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” We are to see ourselves as we really are; our characters, motives, attitudes and actions.
A deeply rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as I uncover it. Will I blame others for what I do on the ground that I am compelled to react to their wrongdoing?
It has been said that even a trained psychiatrist cannot analyze himself because of such blocks. This will challenge me to prove that personal honesty and humility can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot.
TODAY’S REMINDER
A total inventory of my good and bad qualities can be interesting and useful as a start on my work with Step Four. But when I am ready to dig in and correct my shortcomings, I will work on only one or two at a time and for as long as it takes to satisfy me that I have made real progress in erasing them.
“Perfection is a long way off, but improvement can be made to happen every day.”
The Greek philosopher Socrates said, “Know Thyself.” Step Four tells us how to go about it, making “…a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” We are to see ourselves as we really are; our characters, motives, attitudes and actions.
A deeply rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as I uncover it. Will I blame others for what I do on the ground that I am compelled to react to their wrongdoing?
It has been said that even a trained psychiatrist cannot analyze himself because of such blocks. This will challenge me to prove that personal honesty and humility can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot.
TODAY’S REMINDER
A total inventory of my good and bad qualities can be interesting and useful as a start on my work with Step Four. But when I am ready to dig in and correct my shortcomings, I will work on only one or two at a time and for as long as it takes to satisfy me that I have made real progress in erasing them.
“Perfection is a long way off, but improvement can be made to happen every day.”
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June 19 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The self-searching suggested by Step Four is a long-term undertaking. It must go on for as long as I remain blind to the flaws, which create so much trouble for me.
I must go on day after day trying to face myself as I am, and to correct whatever is keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.
As I review each day and think over the consequences of what I have said and done, I can go on to Step Five, which suggests that, “I admit these shortcomings, first to God as to myself, in a kind of private confession.” When that is done, I need the courage to complete the Step by confiding my faults to another trusted human being. Such acknowledgment requires both humility and honesty.
TODAY’S REMINDER
As I understand the difficult task of facing myself and my faults, I will guard against self-justification and self-righteousness. I am well aware how easy it is to make excuses for myself, and to blame my misfortunes on others, and particularly on the alcoholic.
“To overcome my faults, I must first know what they are. Then I must admit to them, and finally, with patient self-correction, diminish them, even if I cannot set myself wholly free.”
The self-searching suggested by Step Four is a long-term undertaking. It must go on for as long as I remain blind to the flaws, which create so much trouble for me.
I must go on day after day trying to face myself as I am, and to correct whatever is keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.
As I review each day and think over the consequences of what I have said and done, I can go on to Step Five, which suggests that, “I admit these shortcomings, first to God as to myself, in a kind of private confession.” When that is done, I need the courage to complete the Step by confiding my faults to another trusted human being. Such acknowledgment requires both humility and honesty.
TODAY’S REMINDER
As I understand the difficult task of facing myself and my faults, I will guard against self-justification and self-righteousness. I am well aware how easy it is to make excuses for myself, and to blame my misfortunes on others, and particularly on the alcoholic.
“To overcome my faults, I must first know what they are. Then I must admit to them, and finally, with patient self-correction, diminish them, even if I cannot set myself wholly free.”
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June 20 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The Sixth Step is an inspiring challenge to surrender ourselves to the guidance of our Higher Power. I will read this serenely beautiful statement of submission to God’s will as often as I have need of it, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
My goal will be to make myself “entirely ready” to let of of the negative habits of thought that have been reflected in the happenings of my life. God is just as “entirely ready” to accept this humble offering of my faults, and to help me change to the kind of thinking and doing that will bring me serenity, and even, perhaps, happiness.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The “defects of character” I want to be rid of are sure to have deep roots in habit. My daily conscious cooperation will be needed as I accept God’s help in removing them. I will try to deal with them patiently, one by one. If I am truly willing, I will see them replaced gradually by impulses of a different quality, that I can live with, comfortably free from self reproach.
“God make me entirely ready for the removal of my faults, that I may receive light on my problems and their true causes.”
The Sixth Step is an inspiring challenge to surrender ourselves to the guidance of our Higher Power. I will read this serenely beautiful statement of submission to God’s will as often as I have need of it, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
My goal will be to make myself “entirely ready” to let of of the negative habits of thought that have been reflected in the happenings of my life. God is just as “entirely ready” to accept this humble offering of my faults, and to help me change to the kind of thinking and doing that will bring me serenity, and even, perhaps, happiness.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The “defects of character” I want to be rid of are sure to have deep roots in habit. My daily conscious cooperation will be needed as I accept God’s help in removing them. I will try to deal with them patiently, one by one. If I am truly willing, I will see them replaced gradually by impulses of a different quality, that I can live with, comfortably free from self reproach.
“God make me entirely ready for the removal of my faults, that I may receive light on my problems and their true causes.”
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June 21 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When my meditations on Steps Four, Five and Six have convinced me I am ready to be delivered from a hampering defect of character, the next Step, number Seven, suggests asking God to remove it.
Step Seven, as it is stated, does imply removal of all my shortcomings, but I must deal with each one individually, as I express it in my daily activities. I must ask God, over and over again, to release me from it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will not expect too much of myself, nor expect to accomplish my improvement all at once, nor without the help of my Higher Power. I must keep reminding myself to accept His help in all I am trying to do.
If, for instance, I concentrate on being tolerant and kind at all times with everyone, it will soon become an automatic reaction, no matter how trying the circumstances may be. This new attitude will color whatever I do and make me more acceptable, to myself as well as others.
“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” (The first word is the key to Step Seven.)
When my meditations on Steps Four, Five and Six have convinced me I am ready to be delivered from a hampering defect of character, the next Step, number Seven, suggests asking God to remove it.
Step Seven, as it is stated, does imply removal of all my shortcomings, but I must deal with each one individually, as I express it in my daily activities. I must ask God, over and over again, to release me from it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will not expect too much of myself, nor expect to accomplish my improvement all at once, nor without the help of my Higher Power. I must keep reminding myself to accept His help in all I am trying to do.
If, for instance, I concentrate on being tolerant and kind at all times with everyone, it will soon become an automatic reaction, no matter how trying the circumstances may be. This new attitude will color whatever I do and make me more acceptable, to myself as well as others.
“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” (The first word is the key to Step Seven.)
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 22 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Today I will consider, quietly and deeply, Step Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
The central thought is WILLINGNESS – to admit our errors so that we can clear our inner consciousness of guilt.
The only action this Step calls for is to MAKE A LIST. I can do this by allowing my oppressive, nagging guilt to rise to the surface of my mind, ready to be disposed of, so they can trouble me no more.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Whom have I injured? Surely those closest to me – my family. I know that my hostile reaction to the alcoholic has been hurtful. Have I also damaged my children by subtly indoctrinating them with contempt for their alcoholic parent? Have I communicated my anxiety and resentment to them? Have I taken out my frustrations on them?
“The Eighth Step places us on the threshold of freedom from self-hate; it opens the door to new peace of mind which, once enjoyed, we will never want to lose.”
Today I will consider, quietly and deeply, Step Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
The central thought is WILLINGNESS – to admit our errors so that we can clear our inner consciousness of guilt.
The only action this Step calls for is to MAKE A LIST. I can do this by allowing my oppressive, nagging guilt to rise to the surface of my mind, ready to be disposed of, so they can trouble me no more.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Whom have I injured? Surely those closest to me – my family. I know that my hostile reaction to the alcoholic has been hurtful. Have I also damaged my children by subtly indoctrinating them with contempt for their alcoholic parent? Have I communicated my anxiety and resentment to them? Have I taken out my frustrations on them?
“The Eighth Step places us on the threshold of freedom from self-hate; it opens the door to new peace of mind which, once enjoyed, we will never want to lose.”
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 23 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
What is to be done with the list of those we have harmed, as suggested in the Eighth Step? The Ninth suggests we make amends, “…wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Prudent and honest self-searching will be necessary.
A casual apology, for example, is rarely enough to get rid of guilt for damaging criticism. It may, indeed, reopen an old wound. A change of attitude can do much more to make up for past unkindness.
If I have deprived anyone of any material thing, I will acknowledge the debt and pay it in full.
Rifts between me and my relatives or former friends can often be healed by swallowing my pride and making the first overtures toward reconciliation. Even if only a little of the blame was mine, the generous gesture will benefit me.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Step nine, taken with care and prudent judgment, will relieve me of a burden I have no need to carry.
“Love and patience can make ample amends for past injuries; they restore us to sanity and our lives to serenity.”
What is to be done with the list of those we have harmed, as suggested in the Eighth Step? The Ninth suggests we make amends, “…wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Prudent and honest self-searching will be necessary.
A casual apology, for example, is rarely enough to get rid of guilt for damaging criticism. It may, indeed, reopen an old wound. A change of attitude can do much more to make up for past unkindness.
If I have deprived anyone of any material thing, I will acknowledge the debt and pay it in full.
Rifts between me and my relatives or former friends can often be healed by swallowing my pride and making the first overtures toward reconciliation. Even if only a little of the blame was mine, the generous gesture will benefit me.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Step nine, taken with care and prudent judgment, will relieve me of a burden I have no need to carry.
“Love and patience can make ample amends for past injuries; they restore us to sanity and our lives to serenity.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 24 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
In the Steps, which precede the Tenth, we have been dealing with the past – cleaning house, so to speak. We have searched the corners of memory for grievances to be adjusted by means of our new view of our role in life. Now, with Step Ten, this procedure becomes a daily ritual, a housecleaning that takes place in a nightly review of the day’s happenings.
“Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”
If this Step becomes a part of our daily life, there will be no backlog of guilt to worry about; we keep order as we go along.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The Tenth Step is essential to the Al-Anon promise I make to myself to live one day at a time. Although I cannot expect to achieve perfection, I can observe my progress and enjoy the deep satisfactions it can bring me. It may have a little obvious effect on my outward circumstances at first, but keeping myself receptive to solutions will guide me to them.
“Look to yourself – it is there that all your answers are found.”
In the Steps, which precede the Tenth, we have been dealing with the past – cleaning house, so to speak. We have searched the corners of memory for grievances to be adjusted by means of our new view of our role in life. Now, with Step Ten, this procedure becomes a daily ritual, a housecleaning that takes place in a nightly review of the day’s happenings.
“Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”
If this Step becomes a part of our daily life, there will be no backlog of guilt to worry about; we keep order as we go along.
TODAY’S REMINDER
The Tenth Step is essential to the Al-Anon promise I make to myself to live one day at a time. Although I cannot expect to achieve perfection, I can observe my progress and enjoy the deep satisfactions it can bring me. It may have a little obvious effect on my outward circumstances at first, but keeping myself receptive to solutions will guide me to them.
“Look to yourself – it is there that all your answers are found.”
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 25 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
It is in Step Eleven that I find the actively-spiritual prescription for the practice of Al-Anon program:
“Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
If we are living by the Al-Anon counsel FIRST THINGS FIRST, prayer and meditation come before all else, since it is in this way that we receive guidance for our decisions.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Am I too busy to pray? Have I no time for meditation? Then let me ask myself whether I have been able to solve my problems without help. As I face them day by day, I want to acknowledge my need for His guidance. I will not let this day pass – nor any day from now on – without making myself consciously aware of God.
“It is God that girdeth me with strength and maketh my way perfect.” Psalms
It is in Step Eleven that I find the actively-spiritual prescription for the practice of Al-Anon program:
“Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
If we are living by the Al-Anon counsel FIRST THINGS FIRST, prayer and meditation come before all else, since it is in this way that we receive guidance for our decisions.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Am I too busy to pray? Have I no time for meditation? Then let me ask myself whether I have been able to solve my problems without help. As I face them day by day, I want to acknowledge my need for His guidance. I will not let this day pass – nor any day from now on – without making myself consciously aware of God.
“It is God that girdeth me with strength and maketh my way perfect.” Psalms
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 26 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The final triumphant statement of spirituality which is announced in Step Twelve can come to every one of us as we live the Al-Anon way. “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
The spiritual awakening is a realization that we are not alone and helpless; we have learned certain truths, which we are now able to carry to others in order to help them.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will keep myself ready for the spiritual awakening which is certain to come to me when I have surrendered my will to God’s will. It will throw new light on many things. It will give me the ability to make my judgments and decisions on the spiritual level where I will be governed by God’s goodness and wisdom.
“We are asleep; we walk in darkness until we find God’s hand to lead us into His way – the way of spiritual enlightenment.”
The final triumphant statement of spirituality which is announced in Step Twelve can come to every one of us as we live the Al-Anon way. “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
The spiritual awakening is a realization that we are not alone and helpless; we have learned certain truths, which we are now able to carry to others in order to help them.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will keep myself ready for the spiritual awakening which is certain to come to me when I have surrendered my will to God’s will. It will throw new light on many things. It will give me the ability to make my judgments and decisions on the spiritual level where I will be governed by God’s goodness and wisdom.
“We are asleep; we walk in darkness until we find God’s hand to lead us into His way – the way of spiritual enlightenment.”
Present
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 27 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We who really try to use the Al-Anon program have various reasons to be grateful as we see the results. This was one member’s experience, which she told her friends at a meeting.
Her greatest difficulty concerned her children. “I never knew what to do about them when my husband came home drunk and disorderly. I felt they should be shielded from violence, yet overprotection wouldn’t be good for them. I didn’t want to influence them against their father; I knew he loved them, and they, him.
“I found all the answers in Al-Anon. I made sensible explanations about their father’s illness and found them naturally compassionate. I avoided scenes by not allowing my frustrations to erupt into anger. I tried hard to be consistent and fair to them. The results have been everything I hoped for, and I am so grateful to Al-Anon for this.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Our children are a FIRST THING to consider FIRST. Our attitude is the key to a successful family relationship – and their normal growing up.
“And above all, I never use the children as pawns in any conflicts. They respond so well to respect.”
We who really try to use the Al-Anon program have various reasons to be grateful as we see the results. This was one member’s experience, which she told her friends at a meeting.
Her greatest difficulty concerned her children. “I never knew what to do about them when my husband came home drunk and disorderly. I felt they should be shielded from violence, yet overprotection wouldn’t be good for them. I didn’t want to influence them against their father; I knew he loved them, and they, him.
“I found all the answers in Al-Anon. I made sensible explanations about their father’s illness and found them naturally compassionate. I avoided scenes by not allowing my frustrations to erupt into anger. I tried hard to be consistent and fair to them. The results have been everything I hoped for, and I am so grateful to Al-Anon for this.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Our children are a FIRST THING to consider FIRST. Our attitude is the key to a successful family relationship – and their normal growing up.
“And above all, I never use the children as pawns in any conflicts. They respond so well to respect.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
June 28 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Among the many things we learn in our contact with the Al-Anon fellowship is this: Be Good To Yourself.
This is a surprisingly hard assignment for many of us. Some relish their sufferings so much that everything that happens is ballooned to enormous proportions in the re-living and the telling. Self-pitiers are difficult to wean away from their martyrdom until the joys of serenity and contentment dawn on them in Al-Anon.
Others nurse their grievances, resent their lot in life, and seek scapegoats to blame for everything that happens to them, particularly the alcoholic. They have not yet learned to be good to themselves. They still have before them the joyous experience of letting go of a problem – the lovely adventure of shrugging off “hurts.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Very little that happens in my daily encounters is worth my worry, resentment, or feeling sorry for myself. If I am always ready to take offense and be hurt, I’m selling my contentment very cheaply. I must remember to be good to myself!
“How happy and useful I could be if I weren’t carrying around such a load of unpleasant emotional turmoil. No one asks me to, so why do I?”
Among the many things we learn in our contact with the Al-Anon fellowship is this: Be Good To Yourself.
This is a surprisingly hard assignment for many of us. Some relish their sufferings so much that everything that happens is ballooned to enormous proportions in the re-living and the telling. Self-pitiers are difficult to wean away from their martyrdom until the joys of serenity and contentment dawn on them in Al-Anon.
Others nurse their grievances, resent their lot in life, and seek scapegoats to blame for everything that happens to them, particularly the alcoholic. They have not yet learned to be good to themselves. They still have before them the joyous experience of letting go of a problem – the lovely adventure of shrugging off “hurts.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Very little that happens in my daily encounters is worth my worry, resentment, or feeling sorry for myself. If I am always ready to take offense and be hurt, I’m selling my contentment very cheaply. I must remember to be good to myself!
“How happy and useful I could be if I weren’t carrying around such a load of unpleasant emotional turmoil. No one asks me to, so why do I?”
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