brownhorse

Went to court for a mediation meeting which my attorney prepared an agreement for and we were hoping to settle today. I am happy to get it over with. The XAH constantly makes threats about the house and what he is going to do when he is mad. So, I was ready to finalize the divorce BUT his lawyer was insistant that I provide insurance for a year. My lawyer advised me if I didn't agree then we open up him asking for spousal support and equity in the home. So, I end up tied to him another year in a seperate maintenance which in MI divides the property and custody but does not end the marriage. We still have a marriage license. It would be fine but I think all this was to him was time to change my mind. It is manipulation and I don't like it. If I am working on me, this goes against what I should be doing. I need closure. Now what do I say? This is my seperate mainenanced spouse? my stbxrah lost the soon to be part. I was so sad and upset that it was over and I was trying so hard to accept it, and this just prolonged it.

Seren

Oh, (((brownhorse))) what a blow! I'm sorry to hear it. At least you are legally separated now! He has no say over your life or household, you just have to keep him on your health insurance a while longer....

Is the divorce at least final once the 1 year is up or do you have to go back to court after that?

Many many hugs, HG

gerryP

Maybe your legally X will slip on a banana peel and need the insurance. (Opps, did I write that?) For all intents and purposes, it is final and a year flies by very quickly. He's history.

brownhorse

After on year I have to go back to court but it is a $20.00 filing fee at that point and then divorce is automatic.

He has had the insurance the past 6 months and not used it once even though he does have procedures he needs done for his stomach and who knows what. Of course, according to him it has nothing to do with drinking. It runs in his family. Well, guess what, drinking runs in his family too.

The bad part is he already said that this hopefully isn't just about the insurance. Meaning I am giving him a year. That is exactly what I didn't want and have told him so many times! I am done reasoning with an unreasonable person.

Thanks all for the encouragement.

Thumper

Ugh, that must have been a big mental shift for you.

Well, you are giving him a year of insurance. A year before everything is 100% final but you don't have to give him a second of your time. You don't have to talk to him or deal with him. Everything else is settled now right? I hope so! Hang in there.

I'm with gerry - He's history!

Seren

Well, he can think what he wants. It doesn't mean it's true.

wicked

Good. He would not have any need to talk to you about this insurance would he?
If not, I would send him to no connect purgatory....
I am glad at least this part is over for you.

Beth

marie1960

Sending positve thoughts brownhorse.

Hang in there.

brownhorse

Thanks everybody. We have kids so unfortunately no contact is not possible but I do not have to talk about anything else or the insurance. He has 2 months to refinance his truck and get everything out of the house. So, many things are final but just again this one thing hanging over me. I just know that means he is still going to hold onto it as hope but again I am learning not my problem. Thanls again for being there for me SR!