Jennifer124

Hi everyone! I have not been on in awhile, and this is NOT because I got back with my ABF, although I have not been as stern as I should have been. He still has not moved out, for every reason under the sun. I have been trying to make this amicable, meaning I am telling him there is a chance if he would just move out and straighten his life out. But really, I DO NOT actually think that, just trying to get him out of the house.
Anyways, he has not paid rent for the month of April. When I mention it to him, he says he will pay, but is moving out "this weekend" (it is always this weekend), and will pay the prorated amount. I agreed. But now he still has not moved out, and is just drinking every night still. I put my foot down this morning and said "you HAVE to pay today, I am watching you blow all this money, while you are living rent free." He then went around it a million times, until I asked him "are you going to write me a check or not." He says "no." I could not tell if he was serious or not. Because up until this morning he has been laying it on thick with the "I love you, will do anything for you, change my life" blah blah blah. I know its not true, but was eating it up.
So then he says "I haven't even been living here." WHAAAAT. He spent one night at his friends house in the last 18 days! I said "when did you leave?" Like does he think that because he only sleeps and showers here, but is at his second home (the bar) the rest of the hours in the day, that he does not have to pay rent?
Then I got mad. I said "you are writing me a check right f-ing now, I didn't want to do this, but now I am going to have to shut off your phone, change the locks." So he called me some choice names, and then i went to work.
Now I know I am being used. I still can't believe what an idiot I am. I was making sure he was moving out, but didn't want to make it nasty.
Ugh, any advice, I think I just need to hear some support

nodaybut2day

NO YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT.

(My first SR screen name was "imtheidiot"...but I changed it rather quickly).

You just hadn't hit your bottom yet. Now you have.

So, is his name on the lease?

If not, you have the right to put his things outside, change the locks and be done with it.

ODAT63

So then he says "I haven't even been living here." WHAAAAT. He spent one night at his friends house in the last 18 days! I said "when did you leave?" Like does he think that because he only sleeps and showers here, but is at his second home (the bar) the rest of the hours in the day, that he does not have to pay rent?

lmao...sorry but if I can only see you then. I am SOooo glad my nightmare with my xah is over. I'll pray for you. You are not an idiot, I believed my X for 17 years......talk about idiots

theuncertainty

There are some people that it just doesn't pay to be nice to. To them, it just comes across as them having found a push over. If you let them, they will push *this* boundary just a little further.... OK... a little further... Then it's been 20 days without a rent payment - 10 days to the next month. If he was just a roommate or tenant would you put up with rent payment being this late?

Can I throw another wrench?: Even if he does write you a check, how do you know it'd be good?

Is it time yet to just tell him to go? No uncertain terms, no dragging feet, no believing the hook that he'll do anything....

Take care.

ABIDEBYLAW

I had a fantastic girlfriend for several years. Religious, family oriented, best job, attractive, and a heart of gold. No man would walk away from someone like her.
I finally walked away for her benefit. My drinking had made it impossible to treat her how she deserved to be treated. It was so tough but it was the right thing to do. She is now dating a very nice /non alcoholic.
I walked away from the best, the man you describe is not. You deserve MUCH better!

Cyranoak

Do you have the stones to actually do it or are you just venting?