ODAT63

Sunday in my way to Costco, I saw my XAH parked at his XSponsor home, X moved to another town a year ago, so I was way surprised to see him here. My immediate reaction was to stop and see him, I got anxiety and the committee in my head started to make plans on what xcuse I was going to use to stop by, so I said to my HP " if it was HIS will for me to stop and see my xah (over a year since I last saw him), that he will be still there after I come back from the store" (yes, I do deals with my HP..lol), You all should see how fast I went thru the store aisles..record time shopping..lol.
So as I drove back to home, my XAH car was still there, so I speed up to get home and take the gorceries out of the car, by then I had a plan!! Anxiety levels were high and I was reacting.
My niece was home and I told her my plans, she suggested I take her car and stalk him for a while,
As I started to talk to her about XAH, memories of how mean and hurtful he has been, I felt calm and serene, I remembered a lot of what I have learned and said a loud to me and her..WHY DO I WANT TO GIVE HIM AN EXCUSE TO HURT ME!! and I remember that self-love is not allowing someone to do that.
Then I came to the peaceful conclusion that my HP was giving the opportunity to see my recovery first hand, I was grateful and then I took a good nap later I left to see my boyfriend (normie) and I was very happy.
Recovery is amazing and happiness is possible, I had to go thru a lot of pain but it has been so worth it, because I am. Al anon works.

Lilmssunshine

Good Job!!! Im proud of you!!! You have worked very hard in your program, the results are showing. Your an inspiration to us. Thank you for sharing.

P.S. I loove Cosco!!! mmm pizza.

And....The committee in my head thing cracked me up!

fedup3

I'm with lilmssunshine love the committee in the head, I'm going to use that one myself. Sounds like recovery in action, great job and keep going! We're cheering you on.