Lilmssunshine

Arg! I just want to cuddle with the man in which I have NC with and listen to his perspectives while he holds me. He always had the best perspectives when dealing with my crazy Mom. If I dont vent here ill end up contacting him. The force is strong today!!!

My Mom wakes me up early by talking on the phone. Drama...drama...drama. She starts her day with it, gets doses of it throughout the day and has to have her fix of drama before bedtime. A guy canceled his date with her today (probably cuz shes crazy) and now her day is ruined. She has NOTHING nice to say...constant negativity. She is so reactive that she about killed me in the car today. Decided to have road rage and not control herself. I said one thing that rubbed her the wrong way and she wanted to argue about it for as long as she could. Then got mad because I chose not to argue. Oh my goodness.

I miss cuddling, and being lovey dovey and I HATE alcohol, I HATE all types of addictions!!!!

This sux.

itsmylifenow

Aww..so sorry your day is like this. I hope it's gotten better.

I understand the part about being held. I always told my XABF that the moment when he was holding me was the best part of our relationship. It was nice, pure, felt good and was so comforting. It really was the only time I felt at peace. Damn shame the other 98% of the relationship couldn't have been like that too.

Hope you are doing better!

Cyranoak

How about taking control of your life, setting boundaries and enforcing them with your mother and not answering your phone (or even, God-Forbid, turning it off at night)? And how about turning your energy from what isn't to what could be and learning more about yourself so that your next boyfriend is cuddle-worthy?

You are probably already doing these things but, if not, consider it.

P.s. Not turning off your phone is a form of codependency, control, and or fear.

Spes

I don't know what to say but I do know it's important to know someone heard you.
I heard you and I hope your day gets better.

dollydo

Don't you have any friends that you can share with?

If I read correctly you are also dealing with a drinking problem, could be that you and your mother are toxic to each other.

As for the cuddley, Mr. Duddley, I cannot wrap my head around your relationship as he was just a FWB...not actually a boyfriend, so whats the lingering attachment?

Are you going to AA meetings? Might be time to work on you, get your life on tract and move forward. Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

The ball is in your court, change your tomorrow by working on today.

Lilmssunshine

I turn my phone off when she harrasses me. I actually had it off for a whole week a couple of weeks ago. Other than that its on silent and I screen my calls. Yup doing all those things. Was just venting.