Al Anon Help - Please
 

Hey everyone,

I am really trying to help myself get better. I have started attending Al-Anon and I have appointments in the next month with three different therapist. I am Al-Anon group shopping and therapist shopping. I can't seem to find a group with younger people. I am also wondering if there is such a thing as finding a sponsor and starting the steps too soon - I am ready to get to work.

I am the youngest in ALL of my Al Anon meetings. I'm in my 20's. I think there are just very few of my peers who are either aware or interested in something like it (just my guess). At first it bothered me...but I've learned that while we might not all be the same AGE...our experiences are pretty similar.

I've done a lot of meetings shopping too. It was a little exhausting but now I have my "home group" and I love it! Take your time...no rush.

I didn't go down the therapist route but it sounds like you might be putting A LOT on your plate! Perhaps you could start by checking out a few meetings...see how that feels...then look into a therapist...go to a few sessions...then make a choice? (or the other way around?)

I think I walked into Al Anon with a very BUSY head full of thoughts, anxiety and a strong urge to fix my worried heart ant mind...NOW. Better to do it the best way for you...then to do it fast.

I also think I started rushing through the steps...

Last night I declared to another member I was beginning Step 4. She smiled, shook her head and just said, "Easy Does It, hang out on the first 3 for a little longer...go to meetings...write and ENJOY it...there's no need to "be" at any one step at any given time." So I put my book down and tonight...I'm just going to GO..and ENJOY.

Hope that helps...I understand how you feel. This is how I've managed...

I am also consistantly on the young end for groups (I am 35)

I did not work steps right away but did a lot of reading, attending meetings etc when I started.

I have been in therapy for some time and find the balance of therapy and Al-anon helpful (especially because my therapist is well versed in Al-anon).

Hopeless4now.....

Just sitting in meetings and listening to the strength, hope and experience will eventually trigger something inside you when your ready. My first 2 years it seemed all I did was cry and listen. I found a sponsor, she was my moms age; and I too am the youngest person in the meetings alot of the time. I was in so much pain and wanted answers NOW, how to make everything all better and learn how to make the love of my life stop drugging.... I just kept going and going to any meeting I could get to and in time things began to change in me. I always felt so much better after leaving a meeting, espically since I was going to be home and back in the chaos... it was the only thing that I got the courage to change the things I could...

Close your eyes in the meetings... lol they wont care they are not their to judge, tell you what you should do, there there to share what worked for them, where they are, where they are going and where they have been.... etc... you will hear what your ready to hear and change what you can when your ready.... be honest with yourself, and turn your will over to the care of God as you understand him, things will fall into place. Be patient with yourself and your progress.... we did not get where we are overnight and we are not going to change overnight... be gentle with you..... prayers

You can't start too soon. That said, it takes as long as it takes to find a sponsor and in the meantime you can just go to meetings.

Don't worry about how old people are. Alcoholism doesn't care and neither does serenity, peace, and hope. In addition, it's advantage to learn from people with a lot of life experience. They've forgotton things you haven't even learned yet, have made mistakes you haven't made yet, plus most of the ones you have, and they have so much to teach us.

Our society is so screwed up about old people. Old people are one of our most precious resources and should be cared for, reveared, and listened to.

There's much to be learned from all people of all ages and it's valuable and important. I just submit that there's potentially more to learn from old people.

My two cents.

P.s. I'm 46, but I've also been every age before it.

I am 43, when i started i was 41...i was the youngest also...but now...so many youngs ones in my group...but you know what? it doesnt matter, we are all there for the same thing, some are more active in AL ANON and some are just preachers and some do do and HONEST program...to me, either way, we are all there in the same room, learning, and growing from each other....

take what you want and leave the rest