Alanonic

Wanted say that I have one more weekend here in my house. My house that I raised my already grown children up in. I will be letting go of everything I hoped for, prayed for, etc.

My AH will be mving back in to this house once I'm gone. Yes, he is still drinking with the help of his mother. $$$$$
He is 46 years old...isnt that weird? It is.

Once I move out, I will get settled in and most likely divorce next year.

We had a fight that really scared me when he came here to get his mail. He was drunk...and he said that he doesnt understand why I would give up 27 years of marriage for nothing.

He claims that he has done nothing wrong and it has nothing to do with his drinking. He also said that he will not live his life alone. Okay, please find someone that will deal with your issues, please.

His mother (enabler) is telling him or he is lieing. That she "thinks" that a woman needs to stick with your her husband through anything. In 20 years she will not even be thinking of this. and I dont even care. But that really go to me. She isnt married to him or is she? LOL!! But anyway That really cut me.

Why would I care what she thinks? Probably because Ive know since I was 15

I told him that it is your choice to drink not mine and I refuse to live with an active alcoholic.

He said that I have a part in this, too. He has put up with me and my issues.
Can someone explain why he keeps telling me this: I HAVE A PART IS in all of this mess.

I will not live with an active alcohlic ever again.
He has sucked the very life of me and I will have no more.

I told him that the love of Your love of your life is MIss Vodka. He was pissed. and he walked out.

Leaving his keys, water bottle (Vodka), glasses and belt= really dont know why he took his belt off, maybe so he could breath because he has a drinking belly.
He came back in and took everthing....except the belt. I handed him his belt and he jerked from my hands and told me. TOLD ME THAT i RUINED HIS LIFE!!! He grabbed the belt and screamed "You ruined my Life!!! "
All of I could think was you B------!

MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING! MANIPULATING!

The main point is want I'm writing about is that I feel like Ive wasted so many years of my life waiting for him to change. To stop drinking, to stay sober.
Plus, doesnt this sound chaotic? Its doesnt make any sense...

Thumper

Your right it doesn't make sense. Their thinking is not based in reality. Zero chance of having a sane discussion about anything. Sorry you had a stressful day.

I'm so happy for you that you are going to have a place that is peaceful, calm, and centered. Yay!!!!! It is a gift.

marie1960

'I will not live with an active alcohlic ever again.
He has sucked the very life of me and I will have no more."

AMEN!!!!


Good for you. Wishing you all good things in your new journey!
Keep the focus on yourself, you will do just fine.

fedup3

I understand how you feel it took me 39 yrs to come to the point that I was wasting my time. I feel like once I stepped away from the insanity of it all my mind began to get more focused and clearer but right now I'm sure you feel like you're in the middle of a whirlwind. This too shall pass, please go for a walk, take some deep breaths and you will be ok.

choublak

I bet his mother is also an alcoholic in denial.

Alanonic

Actually she doesnt drink. Her grandfather was a full blown alcohoic that would preach the Bible in the streets of Downtown Columbus, Ohio. She told us that.

choublak

Oops. I stand corrected.

theuncertainty

46 years old.... Mistress Vodka.... Keeps telling you and your issues are.... Alanonic, are you quite certain that your STBXAH (if I may be so forward) didn't have a 2nd life in Alaska, because good god, that sounds familiar... Seriously. Right on down to his mom not drinking. (Though, AXH's mom passed before DS was born, over 8 years ago....) I would hear from her that she never drank, that she'd only have 1 glass of champagne on her wedding anniversary. That's it. I'd get lectures from her on the dangers of drinking and smoking. Ummm, I'm not the one she should have been lecturing.... But any way...

Of course, you ruined his life; it has NOTHING to do with his Mistress Vodka. Because that makes it so much easier for it to NOT be his responsibility in any way, shape or form. (You know I'm being facetious here, right?)

Oh goody! TheUncertainty has a partner in crime!

fourmaggie

dont worry about his stuff, i am worried about you..

are you in al anon? you can stop now trying to change your husband and his mom....because they are a good fit...and always will be until mother or son hits there ROCK BOTTOM...but until then...


YOU are what counts....you children may have been grown but too, can go to al anon with you...this disease EFFECTS EVERYONE....

have you talked to your kids?

herewegoagain1

I am sorry to hear what you are going through but glad to see you are taking steps to better yourself and get out of a choatic situation. I know the feeling that the life has been sucked out of you and the blame game to AH can play. I think it is worse for us the sober ones because we dont opt to drink or do drugs to numb the pain, they the addicts do this leaving us the sober ones to deal with the situation and after time the situation takes control of us. Good luck to you and I pray that you will find peace SOON

Alanonic

Yes, Fourmaggie I go to Alanon.