AskingForHelp

How does one look at the positives in life and relationships and not focus on the negatives (what if he drinks again, what if he does this or this)? It seems "natural" to think about negatives when connected to someone who is an alcoholic but I would like to start looking at the positives and think positive and that this won't continue and things will get better. Any ideas?

Lilmssunshine

When I lived with an alcoholic roomate I never knew what the next day would be like. But in the morning as soon as id hear that first beer can opening I knew it would be hard to focus on the positive all day. What I did was walked my dog a lot when he was drunk. Meditated in the morning and at night. I stayed in my room while he was drinking. Stayed in my own little happy bubble. My room was peacefully decorated. Id journal, study, dance, etc. Also lots of self affirmations!!!

Tuffgirl

I'm a natural optimist. Sometimes I think the negative thinking and pessimism are character traits that people have. I know quite a few people like this and have often wondered if this isn't just who we are. But...having said that...I think its easy to change one's thinking if we become self aware enough to recognize it. My optimism has gotten me into trouble. I can't fix the world's troubles. And wandering around with my head in the clouds, fingers shoved in my ears, singing "la la la la la" isn't a healthy approach, either. So I have been practicing 'realism'. Being a little more cynical. Watching, waiting, looking for actions instead of believing someone's words all the time. Thinking positively but with caution may be a better way to state this.

How about trying some inner dialogue when you begin to get anxious and negative thoughts? There are many ways to bring yourself out of that line of thinking. One of the ways I've learned here is a gratitude list. Another is to talk a brisk walk and live in the moment. Enjoy what you see and the beauty of where you are. I talk to myself often...in my head of course...when I begin to sink into "stinkin thinkin".

There are a lot of books available that can teach you new thinking skills, as well. Just Google "positive thinking" and see what comes up.

Good luck!
~T

dollydo

When you redirect your thinking and concerns to you..then everything changes. True and happiness and joy come from within...no one else can make you happy..it is an inside job.

If he relapes it is his problem, not yours, all the worrying in the world is not going to change his decisions, his life path, you are just not that powerful.

You are ruining your today by worrying about tomorrow...does that make any sense to you...what are you accomplishing?