Things I will not miss about the ex...
And Presents For Pretty Girls
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 319
Things I will not miss about the ex...
1. The constant need to plan every minute of every day
2. The need to bring beer everywhere we went.
3. The stops home before going back out so he could smoke a few bowls.
4. Telling me I was a lousy communicator when every time I tried to talk he would cut me off and get his thoughts in.
5. Saying things to me about other women when he was high/drunk like I was a guy friend and not his girlfriend.
6. Having the most disgusting bathroom, kitchen, and cluttered house yet coming to my house and making it seem like he had just walked into a scum hole.
7. Never getting to do what I liked or wanted to do.
8. His idea of a partnership which involved someone who did the things he wanted to do and have his dreams.
9. The unwarranted jealousy.
10. The dislike of every person in my life and having to schedule time with them alone when he was busy with other things.
11. The total seclusion from my friends and family
12. Always seeing things from a twisted, spiteful side and misinterpreting everything I said or did.
13. Being so rigid with even the most simplest things.
14. Never being empathetic, compassionate or understanding of anyone else's situation.
15. Always needing to be held, comforted, coddled, and secure without ever meeting my needs for the same thing.
16. He couldn't do anything alone...omg...most annoying thing right there.
17. He had to watch Jerry Springer every day from 10-11 and if anyone called him during that time he would get spiteful and not call them back because they should know it's his "Jerry" time.
18. Never being able to have a normal conversation about anything without getting into an argument.
19. His major anger issues.
20. Did I mention the drinking, the drugs, the attitude, the selfishness, the lying, manipulating, circumventing the truth, blaming everyone else for everything....
21. Expecting me to put HIM first over myself, my kids, my family, and my friends.
22. Pinching pennies when it came to some things (no ice cream out - had to buy a carton instead, dollar movies or we rented and watched them at home, barely went out to eat - had to spend hours cooking meals at home) Yet, how easy it was to blow $30 a night on pitchers of beer.
23. Not being able to go anywhere out unless he knew what the beer specials were...and if they were more than $7 he wouldn't go there.
24. The need for CONSTANT attention...omg...my children never required as much attention as he did. I should have talked to his mother about that.
25. His having to get high before we had sex, before watching a funny movie, while we were kayaking, camping, cooking dinner, you name it. Then saying stupid things that everyone else seemed to think was funny but I didn't.
26. All his put downs to me about my height (I was a few inches taller than him), my stomach, my "big girl" size (to a guy over 5'7" I'm pretty normal), my choice of music, my desire to create a business for myself that didn't include him, where I lived, the sheets on my bed, how I cooked breakfast...the list is endless....
Feel free to add your own...I'm sure I will come up with more.
2. The need to bring beer everywhere we went.
3. The stops home before going back out so he could smoke a few bowls.
4. Telling me I was a lousy communicator when every time I tried to talk he would cut me off and get his thoughts in.
5. Saying things to me about other women when he was high/drunk like I was a guy friend and not his girlfriend.
6. Having the most disgusting bathroom, kitchen, and cluttered house yet coming to my house and making it seem like he had just walked into a scum hole.
7. Never getting to do what I liked or wanted to do.
8. His idea of a partnership which involved someone who did the things he wanted to do and have his dreams.
9. The unwarranted jealousy.
10. The dislike of every person in my life and having to schedule time with them alone when he was busy with other things.
11. The total seclusion from my friends and family
12. Always seeing things from a twisted, spiteful side and misinterpreting everything I said or did.
13. Being so rigid with even the most simplest things.
14. Never being empathetic, compassionate or understanding of anyone else's situation.
15. Always needing to be held, comforted, coddled, and secure without ever meeting my needs for the same thing.
16. He couldn't do anything alone...omg...most annoying thing right there.
17. He had to watch Jerry Springer every day from 10-11 and if anyone called him during that time he would get spiteful and not call them back because they should know it's his "Jerry" time.
18. Never being able to have a normal conversation about anything without getting into an argument.
19. His major anger issues.
20. Did I mention the drinking, the drugs, the attitude, the selfishness, the lying, manipulating, circumventing the truth, blaming everyone else for everything....
21. Expecting me to put HIM first over myself, my kids, my family, and my friends.
22. Pinching pennies when it came to some things (no ice cream out - had to buy a carton instead, dollar movies or we rented and watched them at home, barely went out to eat - had to spend hours cooking meals at home) Yet, how easy it was to blow $30 a night on pitchers of beer.
23. Not being able to go anywhere out unless he knew what the beer specials were...and if they were more than $7 he wouldn't go there.
24. The need for CONSTANT attention...omg...my children never required as much attention as he did. I should have talked to his mother about that.
25. His having to get high before we had sex, before watching a funny movie, while we were kayaking, camping, cooking dinner, you name it. Then saying stupid things that everyone else seemed to think was funny but I didn't.
26. All his put downs to me about my height (I was a few inches taller than him), my stomach, my "big girl" size (to a guy over 5'7" I'm pretty normal), my choice of music, my desire to create a business for myself that didn't include him, where I lived, the sheets on my bed, how I cooked breakfast...the list is endless....
Feel free to add your own...I'm sure I will come up with more.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by itsmylifenow 
17. He had to watch Jerry Springer every day from 10-11 and if anyone called him during that time he would get spiteful and not call them back because they should know it's his "Jerry" time.
L
And Presents For Pretty Girls
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 319
OMg...the man lived and died by what Jerry's final words were. He actually went to Connecticut and sat in on a live taping and really wanted me to try and arrange my schedule so I could go.
Yes, nothing says man of morals like a 53 year old addicted to Jerry Springer...Not!
Yes, nothing says man of morals like a 53 year old addicted to Jerry Springer...Not!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
25 yrs married that ended 6 yrs ago
because i grew in my own recovery
as my little family never skipped a
beat with their own lives.
We lacked understanding of each other.
When one is in recovery growing and
changing, if the family members see no
need for help in their normal lives we
became unbalanced.
Altho they were supportive of me, they
still didnt understand me as a recovering
alcoholic mom and wife. Nor did I understand
their normal behaviors.
It was like living on different planets.
Im remarried, 21 yrs living a sober life happier
than they could ever imagine. I could never
return to what once was as today is totally
different.
Grateful and Blessed and riding the roads
in recovery Free..!
because i grew in my own recovery
as my little family never skipped a
beat with their own lives.
We lacked understanding of each other.
When one is in recovery growing and
changing, if the family members see no
need for help in their normal lives we
became unbalanced.
Altho they were supportive of me, they
still didnt understand me as a recovering
alcoholic mom and wife. Nor did I understand
their normal behaviors.
It was like living on different planets.
Im remarried, 21 yrs living a sober life happier
than they could ever imagine. I could never
return to what once was as today is totally
different.
Grateful and Blessed and riding the roads
in recovery Free..!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 94
OMG, this is so great... LOL!
I relate to many - especially 8, 9, 10, 11, 18, and 19!
Some more:
-Having him get crazy upset when I ask him to "follow the directions" vs doing something "his way" (aka shortcut)... same applies to following any laws.
-The gross smell of alcohol seeping out of his pores
-Wondering if today will be the day he gets a DUI
-Constantly hearing how crazy I am
-The constant pressure of him wanting to have sex and me never wanting to
-That nasty "vodka-filled" look in his eyes as he says "Of course I am sober. I have NOT been drinking!"
-Being late for everything because of him. Being pissed at him for always making us be late. Followed by fighting with him because he doesn't understand why always being late is a big deal.
-Constantly hearing that I don't "make him feel like a good person." Sorry, next time you lie and cheat, I'll ensure the "husband of the year" trophy is polished and ready to go.
-And most importantly, I will NOT miss getting so frustrated by the insane irrational and illogical conversations that occur ANY time I speak with him.
Thanks, I had to talk to STBXAH tonight so I needed that rant!
Originally Posted by itsmylifenow
OMg...the man lived and died by what Jerry's final words were. He actually went to Connecticut and sat in on a live taping and really wanted me to try and arrange my schedule so I could go.
Yes, nothing says man of morals like a 53 year old addicted to Jerry Springer...Not!
Yes, nothing says man of morals like a 53 year old addicted to Jerry Springer...Not!
Some more:
-Having him get crazy upset when I ask him to "follow the directions" vs doing something "his way" (aka shortcut)... same applies to following any laws.
-The gross smell of alcohol seeping out of his pores
-Wondering if today will be the day he gets a DUI
-Constantly hearing how crazy I am
-The constant pressure of him wanting to have sex and me never wanting to
-That nasty "vodka-filled" look in his eyes as he says "Of course I am sober. I have NOT been drinking!"
-Being late for everything because of him. Being pissed at him for always making us be late. Followed by fighting with him because he doesn't understand why always being late is a big deal.
-Constantly hearing that I don't "make him feel like a good person." Sorry, next time you lie and cheat, I'll ensure the "husband of the year" trophy is polished and ready to go.
-And most importantly, I will NOT miss getting so frustrated by the insane irrational and illogical conversations that occur ANY time I speak with him.
Thanks, I had to talk to STBXAH tonight so I needed that rant!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
The repeated ranting and raving, about absolutely nothing.
The repeated stories, over and over, and over........
The repeated arguments.
I really envisioned throwing him off the bridge, just for aliitle piece and quiet....
The repeated stories, over and over, and over........
The repeated arguments.
I really envisioned throwing him off the bridge, just for aliitle piece and quiet....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 160
Wow. Could easily add my own laundry list to this crap.
1. Complete lack of emotional or physical intimacy. Seemed to hate my touch when it was guzzling beer.... It complained once to it's laughable gal-pal thing that it enjoyed sleeping alone with body pillows, and that it needed its own space on the bed, and that I "liked to cuddle" as if that were a horrid thing for married people to do????....ZERO foreplay, or minimal at best, no physicality, I am a normal male being, I like to hug and kiss, and caress, massages, lying together alone, ect. Sex, well basically sucked. Not my idea of what emotional and physical intimacy is.
2. The EARTH revolved around alcohol. From the moment it awakened (on our bed without me at 11am) to the time it guzzled beer on a couch till 2-3 am to all the time in between it was all about the pursuit and consumption of beer and vodka. Trips were daily to it's favorite liquor store. It couldnt get into a passanger seat without a can of booze and one in reserve in the purse. I showed it my Harley and its only response was "you need a saddlebag big enough for an 18 pack"......her birthday turned into an excuse to get $hitfaced at 1 in the afternoon and she wanted to use our hotel room rented for us for after the wedding reception for a drunken party with the jail pals!!!
3. I became third tier in it's life. Her 8 year old, her ex inmate galpal, even her ex, all became things in her life that were put WAYYYY ahead of me, her new husband....this got old and stale REAL f'n fast. No boundaries with the 8 year old, he was allowed to walk all over her/us at will and at random, and interfere with our privacy as he pleased, and she insisted on sleeping with him instead of me on our bed???? Unhealthy and bizarre at best. She maintained more than once weekly communication with her ex, and she knew it bothered me and did it anyway, behind my back, and she showed more respect and love to the ex inmate galpal than to me.
All in all she made it easy for me to go see my attorney 4 weeks in.
1. Complete lack of emotional or physical intimacy. Seemed to hate my touch when it was guzzling beer.... It complained once to it's laughable gal-pal thing that it enjoyed sleeping alone with body pillows, and that it needed its own space on the bed, and that I "liked to cuddle" as if that were a horrid thing for married people to do????....ZERO foreplay, or minimal at best, no physicality, I am a normal male being, I like to hug and kiss, and caress, massages, lying together alone, ect. Sex, well basically sucked. Not my idea of what emotional and physical intimacy is.
2. The EARTH revolved around alcohol. From the moment it awakened (on our bed without me at 11am) to the time it guzzled beer on a couch till 2-3 am to all the time in between it was all about the pursuit and consumption of beer and vodka. Trips were daily to it's favorite liquor store. It couldnt get into a passanger seat without a can of booze and one in reserve in the purse. I showed it my Harley and its only response was "you need a saddlebag big enough for an 18 pack"......her birthday turned into an excuse to get $hitfaced at 1 in the afternoon and she wanted to use our hotel room rented for us for after the wedding reception for a drunken party with the jail pals!!!
3. I became third tier in it's life. Her 8 year old, her ex inmate galpal, even her ex, all became things in her life that were put WAYYYY ahead of me, her new husband....this got old and stale REAL f'n fast. No boundaries with the 8 year old, he was allowed to walk all over her/us at will and at random, and interfere with our privacy as he pleased, and she insisted on sleeping with him instead of me on our bed???? Unhealthy and bizarre at best. She maintained more than once weekly communication with her ex, and she knew it bothered me and did it anyway, behind my back, and she showed more respect and love to the ex inmate galpal than to me.
All in all she made it easy for me to go see my attorney 4 weeks in.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
When I am finally rid of him I will not miss:
1: Having to let him use my car because "I am your HUSBAND I WILL not be denied use of the family vehicle" (say it in your head with a bit of a drunkard lisp...) when he is drunk to go and buy more booze. As it stands now, I don't care if he drives drunk and smashes my car. I will just buy a new one. He will not have access to it. I hope he does drive drunk and smashes my car.
By the way, he had his own car. I bought it for him. Three years ago now, he told his boss to "take this job and shove it", got drunk and drove his car home drunk. On the way home, he managed, somehow, to smash a headlight and blow a tyre.
That car has since sat on my front lawn. The tyre is still blown (despite me getting a replacement tyre and wheel - he refuses to put them on), the headlight is still smashed. He drove it home drunk three years ago, damaged it and has left it to fester on the front lawn. He has never even used the key to inspect it or even start it since.
I used to start it occasionally to try to make sure it would get back on the road. I got him a new tyre and wheel. He has done absof******lutely nothing about that car ever since.
2: Getting up at 5am to see why all the lights in the house are still on. By the way, my Mother was visiting this time...
Finding him drunk and unconscious with his pants down and porn on the computer. Alcohol spilled all around as well as bodily fluids, iykwim...
They were on the floor, the bodily fluids, I wiped them up with a paper towel and pulled his pants up; turned off the porn and left him there.
Wiping up a grown man's "issue" off the floor after he watches porn on MY computer with my Mother in the house? I can't tell you how proud I felt to be his wife...
1: Having to let him use my car because "I am your HUSBAND I WILL not be denied use of the family vehicle" (say it in your head with a bit of a drunkard lisp...) when he is drunk to go and buy more booze. As it stands now, I don't care if he drives drunk and smashes my car. I will just buy a new one. He will not have access to it. I hope he does drive drunk and smashes my car.
By the way, he had his own car. I bought it for him. Three years ago now, he told his boss to "take this job and shove it", got drunk and drove his car home drunk. On the way home, he managed, somehow, to smash a headlight and blow a tyre.
That car has since sat on my front lawn. The tyre is still blown (despite me getting a replacement tyre and wheel - he refuses to put them on), the headlight is still smashed. He drove it home drunk three years ago, damaged it and has left it to fester on the front lawn. He has never even used the key to inspect it or even start it since.
I used to start it occasionally to try to make sure it would get back on the road. I got him a new tyre and wheel. He has done absof******lutely nothing about that car ever since.
2: Getting up at 5am to see why all the lights in the house are still on. By the way, my Mother was visiting this time...
Finding him drunk and unconscious with his pants down and porn on the computer. Alcohol spilled all around as well as bodily fluids, iykwim...
They were on the floor, the bodily fluids, I wiped them up with a paper towel and pulled his pants up; turned off the porn and left him there.
Wiping up a grown man's "issue" off the floor after he watches porn on MY computer with my Mother in the house? I can't tell you how proud I felt to be his wife...
Last edited by Seren; 08-01-2012 at 07:43 AM. Reason: swear filter
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