cricket123

What a Day. My RAH and I had our counseling appointment and of course he did not participate like I would of liked and we talked about how I could start moving past my issue with his pasted drinking and how to communicate better. Then when asked if saving our relationship was worth it, it took him a long time to reply.
While dying Easter eggs I made a comment about are we hiding eggs this year because the bunny thing is not real, just in normal conversation and kind of goofing around about it (the kids are 16, 16, and 14 and they even told us a couple of things they wanted for Easter) and RAH was a little upset wanted to know why I did not talk to him about it before I said something to the kids.

And of course we had a couple of sibling issues tonight and have to work on these.

Then when everyone went to bed RAH want to know why I did not say something to him before I said something to them. LOL I did not think it was a secret in our house anymore and I did not realize it was. So now I am frustrated because I don’t know what I can say or not say. I know he likes to find things to say I don’t treat the kid’s right but I can do that real too, I just try not to go there.

I don’t like holidays anymore.

wicked

Well, don't stop liking the holidays because of him! Geez, you"re doing the eggs, the kids are teenagers for goodness sake.
It's supposed to be about the resurrection. (my catholic upbringing showing)
But, eggs and rabbits are about fertility, pagan?

Easter is about New Growth.

laurie6781

Well since he lives in a very distorted ALCOHOLIC REALITY

maybe, ............................................ he still believed in the Easter Bunny

and you 'spoiled' it for him.


ROFLMAO


Love and hugs,

EnglishGarden

So very sorry, cricket. I have a close friend with a dry AH--and he does that, too. It is the resentment that AA's Big Book talks about. It has to do with the disease. The alcoholic always looking to be angry with something or somebody.

Try not to take the bait. Any arguing would not resolve anything as it is just a sick part of the alcoholism.

I hope the counseling helps. If he has a couple years of sobriety, it might. If he has less than that, it may just give him more excuses for resentments.

It is so hard to be the spouse of an alcoholic. I hope you have recovering friends there for support.

The bunny may not be coming to your house anymore....but your babies will still want some chocolate! I hope you have a good weekend with them.

The AH can chew on his stinkin' thinkin' all he wants. It's not your problem.

Tuffgirl

I have to agree with Laurie and EG above...its distorted thinking. He's picking on you to fuel his own resentments to justify his drinking. Trying smiling and saying "oh I see" or "huh".

I saw a sign on a store front the other day and I just loved it - seems appropriate right now.

"If you can't be kind, at least be vague"

wicked

Yeah, I would have to say he is reaching for this resentment.

If I told my daughter when she was a teenager,
"honey, there is no easter bunny, like there is no santa claus."
She would have said,
"Lady, stop talking and give me my candy."

cricket123

Thanks I sometimes forget His reality is very different and distorted from what mine is. This makes everyday life interesting at best. Thanks for reminding me it is his problem not mine.

And Oh yes my teens will get way too much candy tomorrow and we will also have our silly string fight in the morning along with an egg hunt and do it all again when we go to their gmas where even the 20 somethings join in - sometimes water is involved. (ours are the youngest) LOL They have all the fun.