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04-09-2012, 01:11 PM

# 21 (permalink)

ODAT63

Member

Join Date: Feb 2012

Location: Orem UT

Posts: 312

Quote:

Originally Posted by anvilhead

[I]

the housing market is still in a big slump and houses aren't really selling like hotcakes these days. are you sure that there IS much equity right now? property values have dropped considerably and there might not be as much equity as you think!

my philosophy is to NEVER bank on or plan on money that i do not already have IN my bank account. that's just me, and it's served me quite well over the years!

SOOOOOOOO true anvilhead, at the end of my divorce and thousand of $$$$ on attorney, my XAH, left me everything but with the condition that I will not seek alimony, since he is an A, my attorney strongly suggested I take the deal so I did.
WELL!!! So I have a house and a cabin now and 1/2 his savings, yuppyy!!! NOT SO, I am grateful for what a have however, here comes REALITY..
I can not refinance the home because on my own I don't qualify for that big of a loan,(big pretty home), If I sell it in this market..yes, I will lose more than 1/2 equity we had on it and so far no takers either, I put the cabin for sale over a YEAR ago and I have lowered the price to as low as I can go and no buyers either, so meanwhile, I have to pay taxes and insurance on the cabin plus HOA and repairs, upkeep etc. my house payment is draining my savings, now I have 1/2 of what I had when we divorce.
I have a good steady job, but even with that money is going a lot faster then I want (I am an accountant), maybe another year and I will be in real trouble, but I do trust my HP, and I know he will direct me to make the right choices.
So good luck to you, I was that naive but life is teaching me to be careful and not to trust the A.

04-09-2012, 02:04 PM

# 22 (permalink)

lizatola

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2010

Posts: 2,349

Quote:

Originally Posted by anvilhead

And, I truly do believe that he would be fair if worse came to worse. I think I'd be smart enough to see the writing on the wall and start moving assets before the crap hits the fan anyway.

you mean like the DUI?

liz it was not my intent to be insulting but to be realistic...you seem to get kinda hostile, like you already know all the answers, so there's no need for to me share anything further. good luck.

I am realistic. I knew the DUI was coming. I remember writing in my journal about 6 months ago about how I saw it coming. I have been learning in Al Anon how to leave him to clean up his own mess. I didn't mean to be hostile, I have my own reality here and it may be different from what others are going through. I truly do love my AH and I do believe him when it comes to 'some' of the things he says. Yes, the DUI is crap that hit the fan but I also think it's been a catalyst towards him getting sober. Will he stay sober? I don't know, I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I still believe that I am prepared for the future. I have enough assets in my name, I can sell my luxury car and buy a beater, and I can sell the house. I also took your comments as being hostile so I guess my response was less than friendly, I apologize.