The workaround for blocked messages UGH
 

So I have had xabf blocked from my phone for a couple of months now, and have been enjoying the peace. For the last couple of weeks, I have been getting texts from him, and was wondering how on earth he was getting them to go through.

Turns out AT&T can block people calling you and sending SMS texts, but can't block MMS (picture) texts. So he learned somewhere that if he sends them all if they appear to be pics, they go through. AT&T told me there is nothing they can do to block it.

At 8:06 am yesterday he texted "Im starting a plan of action today will you please unblock me?"

Then less than 12 hours later at 7:30pm the drunk texts start coming.


I try not to read them, it's completely rediculous.


This weekend he had his son here, who I raised for 2 years as my stepson. He had wanted to see me and my daughter and ex was trying to manipulate the situation by saying that we could all do something together. As I was maintaining the no contact with him, I arranged with his mother to pick up D. and drop him back off with her at the end of the day.

The kids and I had a great day. I think they have missed each other, and we let D. decide what to do, including pizza and horse riding.

Exab's mom told me that they had had a really good weekend, no drinking that she saw and he actually interacted with his son. As she was telling me what a great weekend it was, I actually felt like it was more manipulation, and I was having to defend my no-contact. She should understand, I think he actually manipulated her to tell me how wonderful the visit had been.

So she took D. for the rest of spring break and will return him to his mothers. King baby is now alone. His mother and son went on vacation and the same day the drunk texts started.

It kills me to think that I used to think the occasional good day was enough, and that I could enjoy that and not think about all of the chaos that came between them.

I'm going to keep going, and resist the urge to respond to the nonsense, either to buy into it or to defend myself.

Changing my number would be a real pain as I use this phone for work as well. Anyone have another solution?

It's really not that much of a pain to change your number. It is done in business all the time. A simple email or text to all your contacts (or only those you wish) will inform them of your new number and your problem with the ex will be solved.

Other than that, I have no suggestions other than to just STOP reading his texts. Delete them as soon as you see you have one. It's going to be up to you, one way or the other, to end contact.

If changing your number is not an option, how about finding a way to deal with the contact when it happens? I went no contact for a while with my RAH, but because of work, didn't change my number. In my situation, HE is the amazing one at maintaining no contact, LOL! But I knew that the kicker was how I would deal with it when it happened, and that is what I focused on...my boundaries with him. How to keep detached and not engage. Still working on that one, but getting a heck of a lot better at it these days!

I am really proud of how far I have come in not responding, he knows exactly what button to push to make me want to respond. I am really not that dumb anymore.

Yes anvil it does, and airplane mode for nighttime. Apple should make an ap for people who know alcoholics

I get that my relationship with my phone is laughable, if I could just turn it off, I would.

Not to sound harsh, but it really boils down to how badly you want this to be over. Just like the alcoholic, we have to be willing to do whatever is necessary to get over our addictions, too. If you aren't truly ready to be done with this part of your life, then you'll keep finding excuses not to be done. It really is all up to you.