First Post: My Daughter is an Alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 15
First Post: My Daughter is an Alcoholic
Been reading here for a couple months, today I registered. Reading "Friends & Families of Alcoholics" most of the posts are about spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends, very few from a parent of an alcoholic child. The big difference is with a alcoholic significant other, I can see the logic of most of the advice: "they will never change, leave them, you deserve better, move on and find someone worth of your love etc etc". If your significant other is an alcoholic, you can leave them and get a new one. Doesn't work that way with your child!
My daughter (30) is an only child and her mother and I divorced when she was 13. Her mother and I remained close because of having a daughter and we dealt with all the usual teenage problems together, although AD lived with me since the divorce. We thought the minor drinking in high school and college was the normal teenage stuff. She lived out of state from college until three years ago when she admitted she had a drinking problem and asked for help getting back home. The last three years has been a roller coaster ride, lies, broken promises, lost jobs, more lies etc. Other than paying for a moving van, she has not asked for financial help. She loses a job and gets another. She loses a boy friend and she has another.
In the last year: three jobs, three different places to live, two different boyfriends (both alcoholics) an attemped intervention (she refused help), a DUI and exbf died (OD, pills & booze). All this and she refuses help, refuses to accept the damage alcohol has done. If we try to talk to her, she shuts us down because she knows we need her more than she needs us.
Despite living twenty miles apart, I've seen her twice in six months.
Last week she called for me to get some stuff that I had in her garage because she was moving (aka evicted). She looked like hell and she used to be such a beautiful girl. In an hour, I heard more lies than I can remember.
I would rather not see her than to be lied to or to see her looking like that. As I drove away, I cried, all the lost hope, lost love. I know I have to detach and take care of myself, but it seems like giving up. So sad!
My daughter (30) is an only child and her mother and I divorced when she was 13. Her mother and I remained close because of having a daughter and we dealt with all the usual teenage problems together, although AD lived with me since the divorce. We thought the minor drinking in high school and college was the normal teenage stuff. She lived out of state from college until three years ago when she admitted she had a drinking problem and asked for help getting back home. The last three years has been a roller coaster ride, lies, broken promises, lost jobs, more lies etc. Other than paying for a moving van, she has not asked for financial help. She loses a job and gets another. She loses a boy friend and she has another.
In the last year: three jobs, three different places to live, two different boyfriends (both alcoholics) an attemped intervention (she refused help), a DUI and exbf died (OD, pills & booze). All this and she refuses help, refuses to accept the damage alcohol has done. If we try to talk to her, she shuts us down because she knows we need her more than she needs us.
Despite living twenty miles apart, I've seen her twice in six months.
Last week she called for me to get some stuff that I had in her garage because she was moving (aka evicted). She looked like hell and she used to be such a beautiful girl. In an hour, I heard more lies than I can remember.
I would rather not see her than to be lied to or to see her looking like that. As I drove away, I cried, all the lost hope, lost love. I know I have to detach and take care of myself, but it seems like giving up. So sad!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I don't know what it is like to be in your shoes but I imagine the pain of seeing your child in such a state has to be immense. Leaving my AH has been horribly painful (but not as painful as staying) but it's nothing like what I imagine having to walk away from your child must be like.
You are right that you have to detach and yet I know how hard that is. Do you have support for you? Is your AD willing to go to AA?
I don't know what to say but wanted to let you know I care and my heart goes out to you.
You are right that you have to detach and yet I know how hard that is. Do you have support for you? Is your AD willing to go to AA?
I don't know what to say but wanted to let you know I care and my heart goes out to you.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,864
Welcome to SR, whitewater. You have found a place with people who understand exactly what you are going through. Actually, there are many parents here who's children are alcoholics or drug addicts. While it is harder to detach from one's own child that it may be a spouse, the same principles apply.
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it.
Until your daughter is convinced she needs professional help for her drinking issues, nothing is going to change. Neither you nor her mother can make her ready to accept help. That is something that has to come from inside her. You don't, however, have to sit in the front row watching her self-destruct.
I hope you will take the time to read the stickie posts at the top of this forum. There is a wealth of information there. Please keep reading the posts of others and post yourself whenever you feel the need. You will find many kindred spirits here who will support you. Again, welcome to SR!
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it.
Until your daughter is convinced she needs professional help for her drinking issues, nothing is going to change. Neither you nor her mother can make her ready to accept help. That is something that has to come from inside her. You don't, however, have to sit in the front row watching her self-destruct.
I hope you will take the time to read the stickie posts at the top of this forum. There is a wealth of information there. Please keep reading the posts of others and post yourself whenever you feel the need. You will find many kindred spirits here who will support you. Again, welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Whitewater,
This is a great place for parents of addicted children.
I have two, my son age 30 (heroin) and my youngest, daughter age 19 (alcohol and weed).
My son, I have not heard from in months, but my daughter is attending school full time and work part time.
I am in recovery myself.
There is a way to get better ourselves, and then improve or work on a relationship with your child. It can be done.
Beth
This is a great place for parents of addicted children.
I have two, my son age 30 (heroin) and my youngest, daughter age 19 (alcohol and weed).
My son, I have not heard from in months, but my daughter is attending school full time and work part time.
I am in recovery myself.
There is a way to get better ourselves, and then improve or work on a relationship with your child. It can be done.
Beth
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Whitewater,
Welcome to SR!
Your story sounds familiar. The person who sent me looking for help was my stepson. He is an alcoholic and crack addict (among other drugs). My stepson is 30 years old now.
He was given a 50/50 shot to live through detox, alcoholic hepatitis, and jaundice and lived, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been in an IOP program and to AA meetings, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been in and out of jail, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been tazered by drug dealers, but he was not ready to quit.
He has totaled one vehicle and had another impounded, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been homeless, but he was not ready to quit.
He continues to make questionable decisions about his life, but they are his to make. We let go a while back, allowing him the dignity to make adult choices for himself and accept the consequences of those choices. At times it is hard for us and very sad. Still, he somehow has managed to feed himself, clothe himself, and keeps some sort of roof over his head (although it may be a tent now and then). Our stepping back has done two things, he gets to live his own life without our interference, we get peace, and our joy has returned.
Welcome to SR!
Your story sounds familiar. The person who sent me looking for help was my stepson. He is an alcoholic and crack addict (among other drugs). My stepson is 30 years old now.
He was given a 50/50 shot to live through detox, alcoholic hepatitis, and jaundice and lived, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been in an IOP program and to AA meetings, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been in and out of jail, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been tazered by drug dealers, but he was not ready to quit.
He has totaled one vehicle and had another impounded, but he was not ready to quit.
He has been homeless, but he was not ready to quit.
He continues to make questionable decisions about his life, but they are his to make. We let go a while back, allowing him the dignity to make adult choices for himself and accept the consequences of those choices. At times it is hard for us and very sad. Still, he somehow has managed to feed himself, clothe himself, and keeps some sort of roof over his head (although it may be a tent now and then). Our stepping back has done two things, he gets to live his own life without our interference, we get peace, and our joy has returned.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Whitewater: As the parent of an adult AS, I read between the lines of your post. Being the parent of the addict is different than being the spouse or the child of an addict. I know this because I have been all 3.
This time around, for me, part of my recovery is to name the thing out loud, esp. to my AS. "Son, you have a problem with drugs/alcohol. Drugs/alcohol are your root problem. Until you get help for that, your life will be a life of poverty and problems. If you do want to get help with that problem of drugs/alcohol, i will support you in any way I can." I also have physically detached. Once in a while I will meet him for lunch, but at the beginning of our meeting I will say a variation of the above set of sentences.
BTW, when I say i will support my son in accepting help for his drug/alcohol problem, I'm not talking money for a treatment program. Heaven knows I cannot afford that without going into major debt! But I do not get into those details with him. I just say, "I will support you in any way I can."
Hope that helps. You are on a journey. I found several books to be helpful, esp "The Lost Years" about a daughter's recollections of her addicted years offset with chapters by the mother talking about her corresponding years of the journey into recovery as the parent of an addict. For many of those years, they had very little contact with each other.
This time around, for me, part of my recovery is to name the thing out loud, esp. to my AS. "Son, you have a problem with drugs/alcohol. Drugs/alcohol are your root problem. Until you get help for that, your life will be a life of poverty and problems. If you do want to get help with that problem of drugs/alcohol, i will support you in any way I can." I also have physically detached. Once in a while I will meet him for lunch, but at the beginning of our meeting I will say a variation of the above set of sentences.
BTW, when I say i will support my son in accepting help for his drug/alcohol problem, I'm not talking money for a treatment program. Heaven knows I cannot afford that without going into major debt! But I do not get into those details with him. I just say, "I will support you in any way I can."
Hope that helps. You are on a journey. I found several books to be helpful, esp "The Lost Years" about a daughter's recollections of her addicted years offset with chapters by the mother talking about her corresponding years of the journey into recovery as the parent of an addict. For many of those years, they had very little contact with each other.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 436
Hi Whitewater,
You are right, the majority of people on SR, come here because they have reached a painful, stressful, emotional stage with an active alcoholic - a wife, a husband, a BF or GF and are looking for comfort, understanding, help.
I just want to point out that a wife, husband, BF or GF are all sons and daughters to parents too.
You will find many posts here where parents-in-laws have enabled their sons or daughters to continue drinking, making life even more difficult for the partner of the alcoholic. There are those who dont want to have to be burdened with their sons or daughters negative behaviors and therefore are quite happy for their sons or daughters partner and grandchildren to continue living in the status quo, offering little support. Those that manipulate, threaten or offer bribes. These types of parents of alcoholics are out there unfortunately and we hear about them all the time on SR.
What makes you different and those other parents of alcoholics that visit SR, is you are aware of the problem, you are not in total denial and want to learn a way of reacting or interacting with your adult children in a way that will help them follow a path to recovery.
Al-anon is for family members of alcoholics and you will find all types of relations at an Al-anon meeting. I have sisters, sister-in-laws, mothers, daughters, sons, husbands and wives at my meetings. I am a wife of an alcoholic (recovering), married for 23yrs.
I recommend that you give Al-anon a try. Listen to those who 'share' their stories at Al-anon and you will find that you will relate to many of them, no matter whether they are wives or sisters etc. Al-anon is where you learn how to heal yourself first, so that you can make some healthy decisions and choices for yourself and your alcoholic loved one, so that life can get better.
I am pleased you registered with SR and welcome.
You are right, the majority of people on SR, come here because they have reached a painful, stressful, emotional stage with an active alcoholic - a wife, a husband, a BF or GF and are looking for comfort, understanding, help.
I just want to point out that a wife, husband, BF or GF are all sons and daughters to parents too.
You will find many posts here where parents-in-laws have enabled their sons or daughters to continue drinking, making life even more difficult for the partner of the alcoholic. There are those who dont want to have to be burdened with their sons or daughters negative behaviors and therefore are quite happy for their sons or daughters partner and grandchildren to continue living in the status quo, offering little support. Those that manipulate, threaten or offer bribes. These types of parents of alcoholics are out there unfortunately and we hear about them all the time on SR.
What makes you different and those other parents of alcoholics that visit SR, is you are aware of the problem, you are not in total denial and want to learn a way of reacting or interacting with your adult children in a way that will help them follow a path to recovery.
Al-anon is for family members of alcoholics and you will find all types of relations at an Al-anon meeting. I have sisters, sister-in-laws, mothers, daughters, sons, husbands and wives at my meetings. I am a wife of an alcoholic (recovering), married for 23yrs.
I recommend that you give Al-anon a try. Listen to those who 'share' their stories at Al-anon and you will find that you will relate to many of them, no matter whether they are wives or sisters etc. Al-anon is where you learn how to heal yourself first, so that you can make some healthy decisions and choices for yourself and your alcoholic loved one, so that life can get better.
I am pleased you registered with SR and welcome.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Hello and welcome! As the partner of an alcoholic, the thing I wish my in-laws had read and followed was this (it's available here, but our search function is pretty sad):
10 Ways Family Members Can Help a Loved One with a Drug or Alcohol Problem « A Daughter\’s Journey…
His parents were very willing to clean up my husband's messes, give him money, fix his car, give him stern talks alternating with how proud they were of him, etc etc. Their version of love and care helped fuel the denial and self-destruction. Someone said here recently that addiction will grow to fill up the boundaries that contain it, meaning that the addict will use up whatever resources you as a bystander allow them to use. Eventually, when they've exhausted all their resources, most addicts will give up and learn a new way of being without the drugs as best as they can. You can help "rise the bottom" by refusing to accommodate the disease.
Welcome. SR is a godsend for me. I'm glad you're here.
10 Ways Family Members Can Help a Loved One with a Drug or Alcohol Problem « A Daughter\’s Journey…
His parents were very willing to clean up my husband's messes, give him money, fix his car, give him stern talks alternating with how proud they were of him, etc etc. Their version of love and care helped fuel the denial and self-destruction. Someone said here recently that addiction will grow to fill up the boundaries that contain it, meaning that the addict will use up whatever resources you as a bystander allow them to use. Eventually, when they've exhausted all their resources, most addicts will give up and learn a new way of being without the drugs as best as they can. You can help "rise the bottom" by refusing to accommodate the disease.
Welcome. SR is a godsend for me. I'm glad you're here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 15
Thanks everyone for the comments and support. From several months of following this site, I knew it was a safe place for support and advice. I've also learned to view her behavior and physical appearence as the results of a progressive disease.
She has been to AA, but was not ready to quit and was turned off by the overly religious aspects. She turned down the intervention and 28 day treatment center because she does not see a problem! I live in a small town and the local Al Anon meetings over the winter were 2-3 people. I'll give it another try because I certainly see the advantage of a support group.
I've done a lot of the reading on this site and will be looking for the book "The Lost Years". Most of the reading gives me a better understanding of the disease but also a greater feeling of helplessness. By nature, I am the type when I see a problem, I want to study it and FIX IT! Frustrated and helpless!
I wasn't downplaying the problems of an addicted spouse, just pointing out that the advice of "leave them, move on, find someone better"' does not work when it is your child. As a parent of an adult alcoholic, my contact is minimal (her choice not mine) and reading some of the other posts, I can not imagine how it would be to live with an alcoholic 24/7.
Before this last year, I had much more contact with her. I brought her up enjoying together all of the recreational opportunities that the mountains provide, skiing, hiking, camping, shoeshoeing and whitewater. She worked in the ski and whitewater industry for years but has lost all interest and motivation. I had been pushing to keep her involved because that is something we have always shared. But as part of her disease she has not just lost the interest and motivation but has also lost the physical edge and reaction time. I no longer feel safe taking her some of the places that we used to go. Ironically, I'm in the best shape of my life because of her. I wanted to stay on top of my game so I could still keep up when she was 30 and I was 60. I've lost my best ski and boating buddy! Part of my work is to stay motivated and active, for me, not her.
Thanks again for the continued support! A best wishes to everyone in their own struggles.
For now, everytime I see or talk to her, I will tell her I love her and I am here for her.
She has been to AA, but was not ready to quit and was turned off by the overly religious aspects. She turned down the intervention and 28 day treatment center because she does not see a problem! I live in a small town and the local Al Anon meetings over the winter were 2-3 people. I'll give it another try because I certainly see the advantage of a support group.
I've done a lot of the reading on this site and will be looking for the book "The Lost Years". Most of the reading gives me a better understanding of the disease but also a greater feeling of helplessness. By nature, I am the type when I see a problem, I want to study it and FIX IT! Frustrated and helpless!
I wasn't downplaying the problems of an addicted spouse, just pointing out that the advice of "leave them, move on, find someone better"' does not work when it is your child. As a parent of an adult alcoholic, my contact is minimal (her choice not mine) and reading some of the other posts, I can not imagine how it would be to live with an alcoholic 24/7.
Before this last year, I had much more contact with her. I brought her up enjoying together all of the recreational opportunities that the mountains provide, skiing, hiking, camping, shoeshoeing and whitewater. She worked in the ski and whitewater industry for years but has lost all interest and motivation. I had been pushing to keep her involved because that is something we have always shared. But as part of her disease she has not just lost the interest and motivation but has also lost the physical edge and reaction time. I no longer feel safe taking her some of the places that we used to go. Ironically, I'm in the best shape of my life because of her. I wanted to stay on top of my game so I could still keep up when she was 30 and I was 60. I've lost my best ski and boating buddy! Part of my work is to stay motivated and active, for me, not her.
Thanks again for the continued support! A best wishes to everyone in their own struggles.
For now, everytime I see or talk to her, I will tell her I love her and I am here for her.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 15
I'm going to need some support here. For a year, my A daughter (30) has had an outstanding warrant for failure to appear on a DUI. I've read all the books and her mother (my ex wife) and I have agreed that we would not enable by bailing her out of this situation.
Well today I got the voice message from her A boyfriend, that she had been picked up on warrant and was in jail and he did not have cash to bail her out. Despite understanding enabling and codepency, the whole time I'm listening to message, I'm thinking "how much cash do I have on hand?".
She has lied to us repeatedly about the circustances of the arrest and has assured us that she was taking care of the problem. Ironically she has been doing good lately and has a good job she will probably lose.
Part of the problem is I can't communicate directly with her and don't want my message of tough love passed on thru her boyfriend. It's unlikely she will reach out to her mother for help on this because of their difficult relationship. We know what we need to do, but tough love is TOUGH!
Well today I got the voice message from her A boyfriend, that she had been picked up on warrant and was in jail and he did not have cash to bail her out. Despite understanding enabling and codepency, the whole time I'm listening to message, I'm thinking "how much cash do I have on hand?".
She has lied to us repeatedly about the circustances of the arrest and has assured us that she was taking care of the problem. Ironically she has been doing good lately and has a good job she will probably lose.
Part of the problem is I can't communicate directly with her and don't want my message of tough love passed on thru her boyfriend. It's unlikely she will reach out to her mother for help on this because of their difficult relationship. We know what we need to do, but tough love is TOUGH!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I think that the problem is she lied to you again. You can pass the message to her directly when she gets out of jail. It's her mess. She's an adult who hasn't wanted contact until she is in a bind and needs your money. How will she pay you back? If she valued her job herself she would have taken care to pay her fines and obtain an attorney (even if she had to borrow $$).
the longer you enable her the longer it will take her.
i know it's difficult to watch and i'm sorry, but you can't keep saving her, because you are not doing her a favor.
the longer you enable her the longer it will take her.
i know it's difficult to watch and i'm sorry, but you can't keep saving her, because you are not doing her a favor.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,864
Yes, it is tough. But it isn't like she didn't know she had that warrant out there. She could have taken care of it long ago, but chose to ignore it. In addition to that, she has been lying to you about it. So now, what she is dealing with are the consequences of her bad decisions.
Of course, you could run down and bail her out, but what will she learn from that?
Of course, you could run down and bail her out, but what will she learn from that?
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
My heart goes out to all parents who post here. I could divorce my wife and move on with my life.
If your daughter digs herself out of her own mess it will have much more meaning than to be helped by others. I know, easy for me to say, not my daughter and not your shoes. But it's next to impossible for a parent to be objective.
If your daughter digs herself out of her own mess it will have much more meaning than to be helped by others. I know, easy for me to say, not my daughter and not your shoes. But it's next to impossible for a parent to be objective.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Hi Whitewater and welcome,
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but my sisters daughter was arrested about 2 years ago for drugs, this was on a Friday night. I don't know what her bail was set at, but my sister could not bail her out until Monday. (Not that she didn't want to, she couldn't)
The weekend in jail scared this teenager straight. She was threatened with Rikers Island if no bail was posted, and that she would remain there until her court date.
I don't know if your daughter has ever been in jail. But I also agree, some time in a jail, may scare them, especially if they have never had any consequences.
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but my sisters daughter was arrested about 2 years ago for drugs, this was on a Friday night. I don't know what her bail was set at, but my sister could not bail her out until Monday. (Not that she didn't want to, she couldn't)
The weekend in jail scared this teenager straight. She was threatened with Rikers Island if no bail was posted, and that she would remain there until her court date.
I don't know if your daughter has ever been in jail. But I also agree, some time in a jail, may scare them, especially if they have never had any consequences.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by amy55 
Hi Whitewater and welcome,
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but my sisters daughter was arrested about 2 years ago for drugs, this was on a Friday night. I don't know what her bail was set at, but my sister could not bail her out until Monday. (Not that she didn't want to, she couldn't)
The weekend in jail scared this teenager straight. She was threatened with Rikers Island if no bail was posted, and that she would remain there until her court date.
I don't know if your daughter has ever been in jail. But I also agree, some time in a jail, may scare them, especially if they have never had any consequences.
I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but my sisters daughter was arrested about 2 years ago for drugs, this was on a Friday night. I don't know what her bail was set at, but my sister could not bail her out until Monday. (Not that she didn't want to, she couldn't)
The weekend in jail scared this teenager straight. She was threatened with Rikers Island if no bail was posted, and that she would remain there until her court date.
I don't know if your daughter has ever been in jail. But I also agree, some time in a jail, may scare them, especially if they have never had any consequences.
Don't intend to bail her out. But her being in jail for the weekend is tearing us apart. Thanks all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Lafayette IN
Posts: 7
Whitewater,
My son is now 31 years old. He has been in and out of jail/prison for stupid stuff involving alcohol/drugs since he was 21 year old. I used to be so depressed about him being in jail/prison. He is currently out and working working - first job he's held in years. It could change at any minute. He usually gets high/drunk, gets a dui, gets in a fight, drama, drama, drama, which results in a court case. Which is another reason to drink. I could go on and on and on. I no longer bail him out. I have prayed for him to get picked up as at least I know he is alive in jail. Yeah, not the best place to be, but much better than out on the street. It just might be what wakes her up.
I was married to an alcoholic but divorced him when my son was 10. I can say that is is by far the hardest thing I've had to go through. His dad still drinks but he does function and holds a job. Al-Anon does help - and lots of prayers.
It's hard, I know.
My son is now 31 years old. He has been in and out of jail/prison for stupid stuff involving alcohol/drugs since he was 21 year old. I used to be so depressed about him being in jail/prison. He is currently out and working working - first job he's held in years. It could change at any minute. He usually gets high/drunk, gets a dui, gets in a fight, drama, drama, drama, which results in a court case. Which is another reason to drink. I could go on and on and on. I no longer bail him out. I have prayed for him to get picked up as at least I know he is alive in jail. Yeah, not the best place to be, but much better than out on the street. It just might be what wakes her up.
I was married to an alcoholic but divorced him when my son was 10. I can say that is is by far the hardest thing I've had to go through. His dad still drinks but he does function and holds a job. Al-Anon does help - and lots of prayers.
It's hard, I know.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
I have prayed for him to get picked up as at least I know he is alive in jail. Yeah, not the best place to be, but much better than out on the street. It just might be what wakes her up.
So far, so good. 18 months of good grades and excellent work record.
Beth
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
WW, i know you are upset and this is eating at you (like most parents). but in a sense you are reclaiming YOUR life that your daughter has been running and dominating. she is also robbing you of peace of mind, stress will wear on you and wear you down to illness....i won't ask you how much precious time you have spent worrying and being upset, wake up feeling worn out before you get out to start your day.
it is exhausting and so damn stressful to worry constantly, how fast does it age you?. she is in jail and her only thought is to get out and get over. if she learns something from this it might help her more than you can with giving her $$$.
it is exhausting and so damn stressful to worry constantly, how fast does it age you?. she is in jail and her only thought is to get out and get over. if she learns something from this it might help her more than you can with giving her $$$.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Fandy
WW, i know you are upset and this is eating at you (like most parents). but in a sense you are reclaiming YOUR life that your daughter has been running and dominating. she is also robbing you of peace of mind, stress will wear on you and wear you down to illness....i won't ask you how much precious time you have spent worrying and being upset, wake up feeling worn out before you get out to start your day.
it is exhausting and so damn stressful to worry constantly, how fast does it age you?. she is in jail and her only thought is to get out and get over. if she learns something from this it might help her more than you can with giving her $$$.
it is exhausting and so damn stressful to worry constantly, how fast does it age you?. she is in jail and her only thought is to get out and get over. if she learns something from this it might help her more than you can with giving her $$$.
Keep telling myself at least we know she isn't drinking this weekend.
I've always been good at taking care of myself, but your right about the stress wearing me down.
Ironically, in the past, I have bailed out employees and yet I wouldn't bail out my own daughter.
Thanks all!
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