being alone (mostly) and I love it!
 

A friend of ours recently left the country for a few months. I always take care of his dog while he is gone. This time i asked if I could take care of his house as well. He gave me the keys before he left. It's been so nice being away from my A and his self destructiveness. I wish I could stay there for the entire time he(our friend) is gone. Ive been coming home every few days to water/work in my garden and check on my other animals. I wish I could take them all with me, but for many reasons that's just not practical. But just being away for a week so far has got me thinking how nice it would be if I could live like that all the time. I can't afford to move away from this property that we (my A and I) own together, and pay rent to live in or buy another place in my name only. But this past week has got me thinking. I don't know how to do it, but I've seen what I believe could be a better life on my own. I don't know if there's any way I can make that happen. So for now I'm just enjoying it while I can.

I totally get that. I have house sat for friends and I love the peaceful quiet at the end of the day instead of agruements. There nothing better than opening the door and knowing that what you're USED to walking into wont be there this time.

I understand. I used to "run away" to my parents' place for a day and a night, and when I had to go back, I'd have an anxiety attack, or just cry.

Maybe you could find a way to make it happen. You might just come up with something while you are enjoying your 'aloneness'. It's amazing what we can come up with sometimes when we are truly relaxed and our mind is not tied up in a knot worrying about you know who and the drinking.

Yes, I'm hoping to find a way to make this happen - to get away from my drunk A for good. Unfortunately there are several obstacles in my way. We live in a foreign country, most of our money is tied up in this property that we can't sell. Because I am a foreigner I am not allowed to work. I probably could get a job, but if caught I would be deported. SO it's not going to be easy. But having had a small glimpse lately of normal life, I know that is what I want. If I keep thinking and praying and looking for options maybe something will come my way.