m1k3

I don't know about you guys but I don't always make my most skillful decisions when I have just had surgery and am under huge amounts of stress.

Tcb, remember when you post here you sometimes set off other people's triggers. Keep posting and planning to get yourself and your children out of that situation. When reading other people's responses you can always take what you want and leave the rest.

We are all pulling for you. ((((hugs))))

tjp613

What's important here, TCB, is that you keep reaching out... being brave enough lift the veil on denial, to consider alternatives, make plans, and become more self-aware. These are all good first steps..... keep moving forward.... keep reaching out. One thing I would like to ask you is to not minimize or underestimate what he might be capable of. Think twice...then think again. Use the very best judgement you can muster. I know old habits are hard to break (Lord, do I know that!), but it can be done...one decision at a time.

You are stronger than you realize. You can do all that needs to be done. (((Hugs)))

TCB5568

thanks to all for the comments and for your encouragement. The other night when he fell in the bathroom and came out yelling at me, I knew he was just drunk and probably embarassed and trying to take it out on me.
his insults were so out of the blue after everything had went so well all day. It was crazy like a light bulb going on or off. I was aware that he just wanted to anger me and I walked away from it and thought this was a good step....I barely said anything to him yesterday but he was drinking again and cleaning up outside and I could feel the tensions rising I felt sick all day. Last night he said well I'm sure you have a lot of things to say to me and I just said no I don't good night.

LaTeeDa

Please be careful TCB. It is likely when he senses you slipping out of his control he will ramp up the rage and abuse. If you call a DV hotline, they can help you put together a plan to keep yourself and your children safe. Even if you never have to use it, it's always good to have a plan.

L

Seren

Hello TCB, I'm sorry that your husband's behavior continues to deteriorate. Sadly, that is the nature of untreated addiction. I'm glad you are still reaching out for help and support for you and your children!

As a reminder to all our members, when you argue with one another on someone else's thread, it takes the focus off of the original question or problem. If you feel the need to directly address another member, please do so via Private Message.

Carol Star

experience, strength, & hope here not judging- you are me-- my XAH acted like this.....after years together he started knocking me off my pedestal- hated my music, my clothes, my cooking, my cleaning, our sex life (hello- you are DRUNK) what do you expect, ?, they flip the guilt onto you so they don't have to look at themselves.....

Seren

TCB, I hope you will continue to come here, post, and get the support and answers you seek.

Again, if members disagree on a thread begun by someone else and are not directly addressing the question asked, or problem being discussed, then it becomes about who is "more right" and not about helping anyone else.

Some posts have been removed, and for now, this thread is closed.