Wondering about Relapse
 

So my husband has just now been out of rehab for 2 weeks. Monday was very upset with himself that he drank half a beer. Three days later is thinking its not a big deal that he had one beer on the way home from work.... This sounds like non commitment to me and that he is working his way back into an old Routine. What does anyone else think?:wild

As a recovering alcoholic myself, I would say that is not a good sign. Mainly because it's been just 2 weeks since rehab. People relapse after rehab but they usually are regretful.

I agree wit Jitterbug. 1 drink is too many.

Unfortunately I agree as well.... not committed at all. :(

Definitely not committed.

Sounds like he's telling himself he can handle a beer or two and it will be ok. Saw this many times with XABF and it was not ok and it always progressed into a full blown relapse. Also sounds like he is still in denial about being an A.

It sounds to me like he still has alcoholic thinking. The Big Book of AA says that as long as the alcoholic continues to have alcoholic thinking, there is little chance of a real change. There has to be a profound change, an upheaval of old thinking, before recovery can begin. This can only come from within that person, and can't be brought about by circumstances like DUI's, loss of jobs, loss of relationships, etc.

Al-anon teaches us that we either contribute to the stinking thinking, or we work on cleaning up our side of the street. Working on my spiritual growth, learning how to stop enabling, how to stop jumping into the chaos, how to stop being mad with the world are the things I had to focus on when I was beginning. Instead of going crazy, crashing and burning, I had to learn how to detach, stay positive, and take care of myself. It took a village (or at least a strong group of Al-anons) to give me the support to do this. It wasn't easy, and I can still fall into old patterns, even after years of practice. The difference is that I can see it sooner, and keep the damage to a minimum.

Active alcoholism is the pits, but there are things you can do to learn to let the alcoholic trip and fall without pulling you down with him. Hugs, Magic

I don't know if he is in AA or not, but if you will, read him this quote from Alcoholics Anonymous, maybe he will see himself in this quote:

Thank you everyone again...I do think AH has this major desire to one day be able to "control" his drinking. He is supposed to be attending one meeting a day and reading from the big book. Within two weeks he has attended two meetings and I haven't seen the book move off the shelf. I think he is in denial still and only went to treatment to make me think he is trying. I am working on cleaning up my own mess and learning my own recovery, in which I can't risk him going back to drinking again and being around me, I am just not stable enough for that right now. I agreed to let him come back home after Rehab if he was activly working on recovery and I just can't help but shake the feeling that one beer was the first step to the internal "well one beer is ok today", tomorrow " Well two beers are ok" and so on thinking.


This lady is Finding an Al-anon meeting for today and reading posts on here to get her thru. Thanks for the support! :ghug3

This is going to be posted on the computer sticky notes this morning. Thank You!

i am worried about you...what about you? are you in AL ANON?

I have been reading Al-anon books and will be starting to attend meetings this evening. I will be honest with you I feel like I am about to go insane but I know I need to focus on myself instead of him. Of course he told me this morning that I am being selfish and its his recovery and I shouldn't be worried about myself. That was all I needed to hear to know that he is right back to normal alcholic thinking

Amazingly, this was the reading at my AA group this morning.