forgotten1

I found out axbf recently went to an "asian massage parlor" and spent AT LEAST $100. The kind of parlor that provides "Happy Endings".

I know it's been a while, so it's not like we're dating--i'm not angry as if i feel cheated on. I feel sick to my stomach with disgust.

first and foremost disgust from him, because i didn't want to think he was that type of guy. but if i'm honest with myself, the kind of person that would go to those places would have to be lonely and self-loathing, which is definitely him.

second, i feel disgusted with myself. it's like, really?! i wanted to marry this guy?! he's such a pathetic piece of crap, and i feel disgusted that i lowered myself to someone like him (now that i know he's that kind of person).

what do you guys think of these massage parlors? im just verifying here... a normal, healthy adult wouldn't actually go to one of these right? only the low-lifes of society?

i apologize for my strong words, but i am just so disgusted.

inpieces314

He probably only went there because he couldn't get anything from a REAL woman.

Cheer up, hopefully he got some kind of STD and learns his lesson.

At least you are done with him!

Taking5

How could you possibly know this unless he told you?

I really, really want to know the answer.

mayalewiston

If it makes you feel any better, my AH, the man who is a well-liked CEO in the industry we work in, used to assist me with events for animal welfare charities, and the man everyone thinks is the "nicest guy in the world" was caught with a hooker by me, which is what was my last straw to move out a few weeks ago. Want to know how I know, I googled the # that called him on his cell when he was living at a hotel before I moved out... and a craigslist posting came up!! Enough said!!

I've been with this man for 6 years - so I totally feel your pain!! Don't beat yourself up - at least that is what I try to do... due to their addiction, they are MASTERS of manipulation and deceit! Use this as a reminder that is is why he is your ex!

posiesperson

Oh, forgotten...

There will be all kinds of people who will offer their opinion but the only question that matters is, do you want to be with someone who does this?

It doesn't make him a terrible/rotten/evil person that he did this, but I'm guessing it makes him a person you don't want to be in a relationship with. At least, I hope so.

I'd suggest writing out a list of what you absolutely want in a partner. If that list includes "goes to Asian massage parlors for sexual gratification", then you'll know he could be the man of your dreams.

Hugs,
posie

fourmaggie

dont know why your are even thinking about what HE has done...he is your EX no?...detach, let go and let god

have you gone to AL ANON...sounds like you need it love...

be well,and take care of YOU

langkah

Your question is what kind of man would get a great massage from a cutie and not even think about a happy ending?

I don't know.

NYCDoglvr

What difference does it make ... he's only in the past, correct?

Have you gone to Al-anon? It is enormous support on working on myself and not picking another drunk or, going back to one. Best of luck!

Justfor1

I agree with Dgill. How in the world do you know he got a "happy ending"? Some of these massage places are legit & the women are licensed & everything. They provide real massage therapy for injuries, stress ect....

TakingCharge999

Be glad he won't pass any STDs to you ....

BTW if you are learning about him still, its time to cut those "communication lines"... believe me its better when you know nothing.

Moving on is not easy but its definitely worth it... do this for you..

Taking5

My point is - even if it was a legit place - how could she possibly know he had a massage? Suspected answer: she is somehow snooping on him. If this is the case, this is very unhealthy behavior. He is the X - time to move on and stop obsessing with what he is/isn't doing.