Feeling good.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Feeling good.
I am taking a two year training once monthly and tomorrow my seventh session starts.
There is always an alter for the weekend that is set up. The theme for this weekend is nourishment.
I have been struggling to come up with something that signifies nourishment for me. As many of you know (and have experienced) self care is a challenge for me. This has been weighing on me a little bit.
April is right around the corner. It is the month I met my exAH, April two years later married him, still in April two weeks after that understood that I had married someone with a drinking problem. Fast forward to five years later (again in April) I experienced the beginning of the end of my relationship with him. April was not a struggle for me last year, probably because I was still in denial/shock. As I approach the two year mark this April though the hurt is not a bleeding wound I realize that it is challenging to heal and brings with it its own ache. I am not profusely bleeding any longer, but I still need to tend to my own healing.
So in all these challenges the last few days I also have had a lot to be thankful for. There have been a number of new posters in the past week that I can relate to their story. I was them, and they remind me where I have been...and many of the response from others, how far we are all capable to healing.
I also am the phone answering/message person for the local Al-anon group. Tonight I got to listen to a newcomer with a story like mine, and offer support from my own ES&H. I did not (nor am I capable) of taking away all his hurt and pain, or even a small portion of it. I was able to offer hope though to him, and let him know that I know people that are actively working their recovery. The best part about the phone call for me though was realizing that this, offering hope is enough. I did not lose me in the process, I did not try to "control" or "fix" or "care take." All I did was tell my experience.
It is kind of a great feeling this learning how to BE, and that that is enough.
Finally writing this down has helped me to realize that my recovery journey has enough of a groundwork to continue....regardless of what my loved ones, boss etc throw in my path. Not that they are not important, but that I will continue my healing journey even when those around me doubt it. I have not been able to trust that before.
Thanks for all the wisdom and support that has been shared on here. It has been such a big part of my healing process.
There is always an alter for the weekend that is set up. The theme for this weekend is nourishment.
I have been struggling to come up with something that signifies nourishment for me. As many of you know (and have experienced) self care is a challenge for me. This has been weighing on me a little bit.
April is right around the corner. It is the month I met my exAH, April two years later married him, still in April two weeks after that understood that I had married someone with a drinking problem. Fast forward to five years later (again in April) I experienced the beginning of the end of my relationship with him. April was not a struggle for me last year, probably because I was still in denial/shock. As I approach the two year mark this April though the hurt is not a bleeding wound I realize that it is challenging to heal and brings with it its own ache. I am not profusely bleeding any longer, but I still need to tend to my own healing.
So in all these challenges the last few days I also have had a lot to be thankful for. There have been a number of new posters in the past week that I can relate to their story. I was them, and they remind me where I have been...and many of the response from others, how far we are all capable to healing.
I also am the phone answering/message person for the local Al-anon group. Tonight I got to listen to a newcomer with a story like mine, and offer support from my own ES&H. I did not (nor am I capable) of taking away all his hurt and pain, or even a small portion of it. I was able to offer hope though to him, and let him know that I know people that are actively working their recovery. The best part about the phone call for me though was realizing that this, offering hope is enough. I did not lose me in the process, I did not try to "control" or "fix" or "care take." All I did was tell my experience.
It is kind of a great feeling this learning how to BE, and that that is enough.
Finally writing this down has helped me to realize that my recovery journey has enough of a groundwork to continue....regardless of what my loved ones, boss etc throw in my path. Not that they are not important, but that I will continue my healing journey even when those around me doubt it. I have not been able to trust that before.
Thanks for all the wisdom and support that has been shared on here. It has been such a big part of my healing process.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((LiferRecovery))) - I don't know about you, but when I was able to reach out to others who had similar stories to mine, I felt GREAT! I couldn't "fix" them, I couldn't make their pain go away, but just being able to say "I get what you're going through" not only helped them, but it helped me.
Sounds like you are working through the "April blues" and by the time April comes? I think you'll be in a good frame of mind
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Sounds like you are working through the "April blues" and by the time April comes? I think you'll be in a good frame of mind
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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