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Need custody advice from those that have been through it

Old 03-22-2012, 03:15 PM
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Need custody advice from those that have been through it

Has anyone else had to collect hard evidence to show their ex spouse is drinking during their placement time? the court is convinced (or he convinced the court) that he doesn't drink on his placement days, but i know he does. Anyone know how to collect some evidence? i am going to get a Private Eye but can't afford one 24/7. Help me if you can!

p.s. the court gave him weekday custody and me weekend custody, i have one chance to fix this. i can't believe they did this, i had his treatment records!
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Old 03-22-2012, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by fighter1010 View Post
Has anyone else had to collect hard evidence to show their ex spouse is drinking during their placement time? the court is convinced (or he convinced the court) that he doesn't drink on his placement days, but i know he does. Anyone know how to collect some evidence? i am going to get a Private Eye but can't afford one 24/7. Help me if you can!

p.s. the court gave him weekday custody and me weekend custody, i have one chance to fix this. i can't believe they did this, i had his treatment records!
Is he not allowed to drink alcohol when he has his children? Is that something stipulated in the divorce decree or custody agreement?

I'm assuming he is an alcoholic and was told he can't drink in the presence of the kids? Are they afraid of him? Has he hurt them? Threatened them? Scared them? If so, short of your children telling a child protective services worker that he's getting drunk when he has them, I'm not sure what else you can do.

When my ex was getting drunk in front of my children he was in the process, doing things that he got busted for: crashing his boat of the coast of Martha's Vineyard and needing to be rescued (along with the kids) by the Coast Guard, passing out on his riding lawn mower and needing the fire department's assistance (again when he had the kids) etc, etc, etc.

I know the feeling of being so afraid of my ex falling asleep with a cigarette while he was drunk and burning the house down in the process.

Your children should have a law guardian who works as their attorney. That law guardian can request what's called a "Lincoln Hearing" which is when children speak directly to the judge about what's going on, and what their wishes are (don't know how old your kids are though). That law guardian should be interviewing the kids (depending on their ages). If the law guardian isn't doing that, then there's a problem.

Sorry I couldn't be of much help...
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:53 PM
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I'm sort of missing big parts of the story here. What determined that he got 70% custody in the first place?
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:36 PM
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He does have an order not to drink when he has my daughter (she's 5). she has a guardian ad litem who was very biased against me (no idea why, other than that iw as trying to move us to the city about 65 miles away) and ended up convincing everyone how wonderful and how he isn't an alcoholic. It's small down BS, and the judge just went with what the guardian ad litem recommended. I'm going to be appealing it, but according to the judge i need "hard evidence" he drinks when he has her. he doesn't pick her up drunk, but i know he drinks. i can't even go into how unfair the trial was (there isn't enough room to type it all) but i'm fighting a corrupt small town judicial system and i need proof.
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