i was arrested
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
I'm just speechless. (((((WTBH))))))
Self defense classes would definitely be in order.
Did the girls call 911 as you told them to? My heart aches for them so much. That sick son of a bitch!! Uh, should he really be cleared to teach and coach??? I wouldn't want that guy anywhere near my kids!!
Self defense classes would definitely be in order.
Did the girls call 911 as you told them to? My heart aches for them so much. That sick son of a bitch!! Uh, should he really be cleared to teach and coach??? I wouldn't want that guy anywhere near my kids!!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I know I need some sleep bc having none is making me more emotional but I'm so anxious and can't stop reliving the other night and I can't sleep. I'm thinking I might call my doctor by weeks end if I can't calm down. I'm not a fan of medicating myself but one of the things my best friend suggested was getting something to help me sleep. I thought by now I'd be exhausted and would fall asleep but I'm completely panicked constantly.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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TJP- ah's principal called me last yr after he was arrested at work on domestic violence charges and told me to let him know they were there for him and he'd always have his job. That ought to tell you both how insane people in this town are and more importantly how psychotic and dangerous ah is.
The girls went straight upstairs initially (I called the police) but they saw him punch me and they came down before the cops left and were with me when the cops took me. I told the girls id be right back bc I thought the cops were just going to get more info from me and then they handcuffed me in the driveway in front of the window where the girls were standing watching it all. Ah was w them at that poit and let them stand and watch. He is pure evil. No concern at all on his part for what that did to them.
The girls went straight upstairs initially (I called the police) but they saw him punch me and they came down before the cops left and were with me when the cops took me. I told the girls id be right back bc I thought the cops were just going to get more info from me and then they handcuffed me in the driveway in front of the window where the girls were standing watching it all. Ah was w them at that poit and let them stand and watch. He is pure evil. No concern at all on his part for what that did to them.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I am so sorry you had to go through that. It seems as if your lawyer seems to be willing to fight on your behalf. That is important. Also, when you go to court I would guess that they will see how you were the victim in previous cases. That fact that he was willing to have you arrested in front of your kids, proves he is a evil & sick man. This is about as serious as things can get. Please take care & be careful. Your ex seems like he not only has a alcohol problem but also serious mental health problems.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 49
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this **hugs**
Although I hate to say this, it doesn't suprise me. I have been through something similiar with my ex. He was very abusive and usually these types of men will eventually try to go for custody. They want to try to get back and you anyway they can and they sometimes try to use the children as pawns in their sick games. I would have to say I think your AH is a sociopath.
I would suggest checking out some sites online that talk about abusers and custody. The system and the family courts are very very flawed and corrupt. Please protect yourself by arming yourself with as much information you can. I don't mean to alarm you, but many people don't realize this is an epidemic amoungst abusers. Please stay safe.
Although I hate to say this, it doesn't suprise me. I have been through something similiar with my ex. He was very abusive and usually these types of men will eventually try to go for custody. They want to try to get back and you anyway they can and they sometimes try to use the children as pawns in their sick games. I would have to say I think your AH is a sociopath.
I would suggest checking out some sites online that talk about abusers and custody. The system and the family courts are very very flawed and corrupt. Please protect yourself by arming yourself with as much information you can. I don't mean to alarm you, but many people don't realize this is an epidemic amoungst abusers. Please stay safe.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Sweetie, I wish we could all be there with you right now. I wish so much we had the power to just make this ******* disappear.
I want to strongly encourage you to get into DV counseling right away -- for emotional support as well as for help devising a very good SAFETY PLAN. If there isn't a women's center in your town, there are lots of resources for getting counseling over the phone. If I can help in any way in locating those resources, please PM me.
I hope you were able to sleep.
I want to strongly encourage you to get into DV counseling right away -- for emotional support as well as for help devising a very good SAFETY PLAN. If there isn't a women's center in your town, there are lots of resources for getting counseling over the phone. If I can help in any way in locating those resources, please PM me.
I hope you were able to sleep.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
(wtbh)
i'm not sure what to say...
your safety is the most important thing right now. please get to a safehouse. reach out to your friends now, your family. he doesn't care about the RO. he's proven that over and over.
you are strong. you can get through this. right now, allow those that love you enfold you. i don't think having someone else in the house will stop him. it didn't stop mine. you don't have to go through this alone. seek shelter from the storm.
do not be slow to turn to prayer. it will fortify you.
may peace come to you, like falling raindrops.
may clarity come, like a warrier's sword.
may the right choice rise to meet you.
may you be surrounded by love.
may you discover your full inner strength.
may your heart reject bitterness.
may sleep fall on tired eyes...
i'm not sure what to say...
your safety is the most important thing right now. please get to a safehouse. reach out to your friends now, your family. he doesn't care about the RO. he's proven that over and over.
you are strong. you can get through this. right now, allow those that love you enfold you. i don't think having someone else in the house will stop him. it didn't stop mine. you don't have to go through this alone. seek shelter from the storm.
do not be slow to turn to prayer. it will fortify you.
may peace come to you, like falling raindrops.
may clarity come, like a warrier's sword.
may the right choice rise to meet you.
may you be surrounded by love.
may you discover your full inner strength.
may your heart reject bitterness.
may sleep fall on tired eyes...
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
oh my god WBTH. I...there are no words to express how sorry I am that you are in the midst of such madness and that your daughters had to witness all that. I'm sending you hugs and strength and hope that you can update us whenever you have the chance.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I... don't know what to say. I am completely infuriated by this. This man is evil. Evil. He's calling on friends and favors to help victimize you, and he's mindf-cking his children in the process. This. Is. Insane. I am so happy that you have a capable and judicious lawyer at your disposal.
I second whoever said to think of him like a rattlesnake. Would you kiss a rattlesnake? If it looked sick in the grass, would you help it up? Hell no! It's a rattlesnake. Keep a wide berth and call in the snake handlers when it arrives. You don't do yourself any favors by learning how to charm a snake -- as long as that snake is in your life you're in danger.
I am so, so, sorry. He is upping the ante because he sees he doesn't have you like he did anymore. He's treating your kids like collateral damage. If this was my situation, I would do everything possible to focus on the big picture and not get bogged down by his insane (literally insane) tactics. Find someone to keep you upright in the storm and maybe keep you company so you're not jumping at every shadow. Any friends or family members that could come stay for a week?
I'm so, so sorry. I hate this.
I second whoever said to think of him like a rattlesnake. Would you kiss a rattlesnake? If it looked sick in the grass, would you help it up? Hell no! It's a rattlesnake. Keep a wide berth and call in the snake handlers when it arrives. You don't do yourself any favors by learning how to charm a snake -- as long as that snake is in your life you're in danger.
I am so, so, sorry. He is upping the ante because he sees he doesn't have you like he did anymore. He's treating your kids like collateral damage. If this was my situation, I would do everything possible to focus on the big picture and not get bogged down by his insane (literally insane) tactics. Find someone to keep you upright in the storm and maybe keep you company so you're not jumping at every shadow. Any friends or family members that could come stay for a week?
I'm so, so sorry. I hate this.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
I am so sorry this happened to you.
My father had an almost identical thing happen. He lived next door to an evil old man who had been poisoning my parents' cats. My father and him had a verbal confrontation in the driveway out front. The man ran into his house and my father went back to yardwork, upset but thinking it was over. A few minutes later several police cruisers came racing into his driveway. The neighbor ran out of his house with cuts and abrasions on his face and neck. He said my father had attacked him wearing leather gloves and the injuries were from that. They arrested my father (this is a man who was a mild mannered, law-abiding professional!) and hauled him off to jail for assault.
It was a small town and as it turns out, the neighbor was a retired fireman and he had 'connections' at the PD. They treated my father so badly. He wound up having to retain a criminal defense attorney. The charges were eventually dropped by the DA, who admonished the police involved and seemed to get what had happened.
As for your safety, I strongly encourage you to be smart and be prepared to defend yourself. There is no telling what your AH is capable of doing. Years ago I was the victim of a home invasion robbery. It was a life changing experience and I thought I was going to die. I am still amazed that I survived it. Afterward, I learned to shoot and I own a gun for home defense. The NRA has a great women's program with classes for beginners all over the country. There is no shame in learning to shoot and being prepared to protect yourself and your kids.
My father had an almost identical thing happen. He lived next door to an evil old man who had been poisoning my parents' cats. My father and him had a verbal confrontation in the driveway out front. The man ran into his house and my father went back to yardwork, upset but thinking it was over. A few minutes later several police cruisers came racing into his driveway. The neighbor ran out of his house with cuts and abrasions on his face and neck. He said my father had attacked him wearing leather gloves and the injuries were from that. They arrested my father (this is a man who was a mild mannered, law-abiding professional!) and hauled him off to jail for assault.
It was a small town and as it turns out, the neighbor was a retired fireman and he had 'connections' at the PD. They treated my father so badly. He wound up having to retain a criminal defense attorney. The charges were eventually dropped by the DA, who admonished the police involved and seemed to get what had happened.
As for your safety, I strongly encourage you to be smart and be prepared to defend yourself. There is no telling what your AH is capable of doing. Years ago I was the victim of a home invasion robbery. It was a life changing experience and I thought I was going to die. I am still amazed that I survived it. Afterward, I learned to shoot and I own a gun for home defense. The NRA has a great women's program with classes for beginners all over the country. There is no shame in learning to shoot and being prepared to protect yourself and your kids.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Stoughton, MA
Posts: 44
I understand all too well what you are going through. My AB had me arrested 4 weeks ago almost the exact same thing.
He had walked 4 hours to get back to my house because I would not go pick him up due to his angry and violent nature that evening. By the time he got back to my house after midnight he was soooo angry. I tried to leave to not have all this going on at my house as I live in a condo and everyone would hear it. When I tried to leave HE blocked the road so I could not get away and when I went around him I believe he punched the car. Well, after I left, he called the police and told them I ran him over. Not only did I get arrested for assault and battery but also with a deadly weapon and for domestic violence. He supposedly had some kind of mark on his leg where I allegedly hit him with the car, which I am sure he also did himself after I left. I got the same attitude from the male cop who arrested me (a sergeant by the way) and it was horrible. Because this is a felony and domestic violence I was in handcuffs and ankle cuffs, the most horrible, embarrassing and humiliating experience of my life. I would love for the cops to be held responsible for this and have my name cleared when all is said and done. It is wrong that someone can just say whatever they want and completely ruin your life like this. What your husband did with the scratching himself is disgusting. My BF didn't have anywhere near enough of any kind of mark for the cops to arrest me supposedly "running him over" as they put it and they still did it with almost no proof.
I wish you the best in recovering from all this. None of us should have to live this way.
He had walked 4 hours to get back to my house because I would not go pick him up due to his angry and violent nature that evening. By the time he got back to my house after midnight he was soooo angry. I tried to leave to not have all this going on at my house as I live in a condo and everyone would hear it. When I tried to leave HE blocked the road so I could not get away and when I went around him I believe he punched the car. Well, after I left, he called the police and told them I ran him over. Not only did I get arrested for assault and battery but also with a deadly weapon and for domestic violence. He supposedly had some kind of mark on his leg where I allegedly hit him with the car, which I am sure he also did himself after I left. I got the same attitude from the male cop who arrested me (a sergeant by the way) and it was horrible. Because this is a felony and domestic violence I was in handcuffs and ankle cuffs, the most horrible, embarrassing and humiliating experience of my life. I would love for the cops to be held responsible for this and have my name cleared when all is said and done. It is wrong that someone can just say whatever they want and completely ruin your life like this. What your husband did with the scratching himself is disgusting. My BF didn't have anywhere near enough of any kind of mark for the cops to arrest me supposedly "running him over" as they put it and they still did it with almost no proof.
I wish you the best in recovering from all this. None of us should have to live this way.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 427
oh my god. I feel so sick to my stomach after reading this. I recall an incident with my XAH punching the car I was in with my daughter, and how easily he could have done this.
I hope you can gather documentation of his past psycho-ness and that your lawyer can get this all dropped. How horrible.
Do your girls understand what REALLY happened here? It would be terrible if they lost trust in YOU because of this.
I hope you can gather documentation of his past psycho-ness and that your lawyer can get this all dropped. How horrible.
Do your girls understand what REALLY happened here? It would be terrible if they lost trust in YOU because of this.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
mybetterworld- I have no idea what they understand or don't and I have just assured them I love them and am not going anywhere. They aren't asking detailed questions and I don't want to confuse them further or make them feel they have to choose sides by trying to explain this to them. They saw me arrested and I have tried to be honest about that and told them that I had to go talk to the police but that I'm home and I'm sorry they were so scared... That's about where I have left it now...
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
WTBH
Couple things,
1) You can call the state police and/or the county sheriff, they may or may not come out but it gives you some other options.
2) Forget the gun unless you get the training, get a Kimber Pepper Blaster II it carries and shoots like a pistol it shoots peeper spray 15 feet, and they make a holster for your pocket or belt.
Couple things,
1) You can call the state police and/or the county sheriff, they may or may not come out but it gives you some other options.
2) Forget the gun unless you get the training, get a Kimber Pepper Blaster II it carries and shoots like a pistol it shoots peeper spray 15 feet, and they make a holster for your pocket or belt.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Hi,
I am hanging in. I have a huge project due for the dept of ed next Tues at my job. I have been working on it since October and this is the down to the wire time to get it all put together. It would have been a stressful time under the best of circumstances and all things considered it's pretty awful timing right now that all of this is happening at the same time as this work project. So, the work piece is adding to my worry.
I saw my T today and not surprisingly he referred me to my doctor (I told him I had already called her) bc my anxiety is through the roof and my history of PTSD is making it pretty much impossible for me to relax enough to rest/sleep etc...
I know I should feel safe at my mom's but I don't. I keep thinking of worst case scenarios and imagining AH breaking in and killing the girls and I and my mom. A few months ago I would not have thought this was realistic and now I don't doubt anything. I feel like I need to get through next Mon and Tues (those are the presentation days to the Dept of Ed to get the school I work at re-accredited for 3 more years) and after that I have told my boss I need to take some time off to figure out a safer living situation (ie: hiding from AH).
So, I am managing right now and that's about all I can do.
I am hanging in. I have a huge project due for the dept of ed next Tues at my job. I have been working on it since October and this is the down to the wire time to get it all put together. It would have been a stressful time under the best of circumstances and all things considered it's pretty awful timing right now that all of this is happening at the same time as this work project. So, the work piece is adding to my worry.
I saw my T today and not surprisingly he referred me to my doctor (I told him I had already called her) bc my anxiety is through the roof and my history of PTSD is making it pretty much impossible for me to relax enough to rest/sleep etc...
I know I should feel safe at my mom's but I don't. I keep thinking of worst case scenarios and imagining AH breaking in and killing the girls and I and my mom. A few months ago I would not have thought this was realistic and now I don't doubt anything. I feel like I need to get through next Mon and Tues (those are the presentation days to the Dept of Ed to get the school I work at re-accredited for 3 more years) and after that I have told my boss I need to take some time off to figure out a safer living situation (ie: hiding from AH).
So, I am managing right now and that's about all I can do.
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