fhl41

This is how I felt when I was with my ABF, I totally lost myself in him and the relationship, I was completely ignoring my inner voice. I found myself doing things that were not "me".

ie. I have been going to an exercise class for many years and one of the classes is every saturday morning and I love it. Anyways I found myself actually telling him that I was not going to do the Saturday morning classes anymore becasue I know he likes to "party" friday nights (I was trying to keep up with him even though I don't really like to drink more than a couple drinks). STUPID. Oh and this gave him more ammunition - he would say ha you drink too lol (uh yea there is a big difference between 3 drinks and 15. But yes, its not good neither).

This is just a small example of how I was beginning to do things to make him happy and in the meantime sacrificing myself in the process. Crazy.

We have been broken up for a week and I am already starting to feel myself again. Went for a run this morning, did some gardening, beautiful day outside, all the while I am not obsessing about him and what he is doing, is he drinking already? Is he going to get loaded tonight etc etc.

I can just think about me and what I want to do today. And it definatley doesn't include drinking nor watching someone get plastered. I can think of a million more enjoyable things to do with my time.

fhl41

This is how I felt when I was with my ABF, I totally lost myself in him and the relationship, I was completely ignoring my inner voice. I found myself doing things that were not "me".

ie. I have been going to an exercise class for many years and one of the classes is every saturday morning and I love it. Anyways I found myself actually telling him that I was not going to do the Saturday morning classes anymore becasue I know he likes to "party" friday nights (I was trying to keep up with him even though I don't really like to drink more than a couple drinks so come Saturday morning I felt less than stellar). STUPID. Oh and this gave him more ammunition - he would say ha you drink too lol (uh yea there is a big difference between 3 drinks and 15. But yes, its not good neither).

This is just a small example of how I was beginning to do things to make him happy and in the meantime sacrificing myself in the process. Crazy.

We have been broken up for a week and I am already starting to feel myself again. Went for a run this morning, did some gardening, beautiful day outside, all the while I am not obsessing about him and what he is doing, is he drinking already? Is he going to get loaded tonight etc etc.

I can just think about me and what I want to do today. And it definatley doesn't include drinking nor watching someone get plastered. I can think of a million more enjoyable things to do with my time.

fourmaggie

wow!...interesting quote and SOOOOO GET IT!

tabatha

The aha moment I had with my first live in A (yes, I did it a second time too) was when I came home from work and saw our bathroom window had been broken out but no car in the driveway. When I went in the house thinking we had been robbed he was on the couch passed out with the garbage can next to him for throwing up. Since he had lost his car he also lost his keys and couldn't get into the house without breaking a window and crawling in. I can't even imagine what the neighbors thought. He left soon after without any discussion at all knowing that I had hit my bottom for putting up with him. The next day I put all his belongings out on the front lawn and changed the locks on the doors.